Struggling with 4yo behaviour

[LauraO1905]

My DD is coming up to 4.5 and all of a sudden her behaviour has just spiralled. She is rude, backchats, refuses to do as she is told, screams and shouts when she doesn't get her own way..... the list goes on.

However, she ONLY does this with me and I'm really struggling to cope. She's an absolute angel for her Dad and Nannie but with me, she's an absolute horror.

We have a reward chart system but even getting a 'red sticker' which used to terrify her, doesn't phase her one little bit.

I've tried ignoring her, taking toys away, putting her in her room everything! I could understand that perhaps it was a phase if she were like it with others but it's just me. What am I doing wrong?!

Try fake it till you make it with a bright and breezy organised approach and remember that they often go off on one with those they feel most comfortable with, so it could just be a development stage and you are her 'safe space'.
Don't take it personally. She feels safe and secure in the knowledge that you won't stop loving her if she acts out. But she needs to learn that hurting people, whether its physically or emotionally, is unacceptable.
To deal with it, I'd tell her that you choose not to be treated with disrespect and disengage until she says sorry.

It's cause you are mama and her safe place like PP said. All their worries and anxieties get offloaded on you. It's a massive -but shitty - compliment. It really helped me reading that in Denmark they call the pre-school years 'the boundary years'. They try to figure out how the world works by testing boundaries over and over to see if this is a consistent rule. That's why you they keep at it and any time you give in a little, they have to start again and keep trying to push it a it further. There's a great book How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen which has loads of handy phrases and strategies to get them to co-operate.

Try not to punish her, she is only little.