My baby hates being with anyone else - please help!

[GlennRheeismyfavourite]

My baby is 6 months old and cries if anyone else (except her Dad) holds her. She's particularly bad with my Mum which I find really upsetting. I don't know whether it's because my Mum's the only one she's been left with (for the odd hour) so she associates her granny with Mummy leaving. I love my Mum and she's great about it - but it breaks my heart that my daughter cries the minute my Mum holds her. What can I do? Should I leave her more so she gets used to it or not leave her at all? I love my family so much and they'd love to play with her/help out but she just wants me. Is this something I've done wrong? I'm still on Mat leave - I've got 2 months left. Any ideas how I can help her like other people more?

I would just try and get her to spend as much time with your mum and family as you can . Go out the room to do something and build it from there . My dd2 was similar as a baby although she was fine with my mum . When I first left her with a childminder she would scream the whole time . She loves the childminder now though and is happy to be left with people. Separation anxiety is quite high at that age .

I think it's normal. Babies just love there mum !!
Even now my baby is 9 months he cries if certain people hold him (like his grandparents) but he is fine with his dad (as he sees him everyday) and my friends/sister as they are mums also and similar in age to me so maybe that's why hea comfortable with them, and is happy with them even if I leave he room. Maybe he's less Comfortable KS with his grandparents because they are older than me and he doesn't see them as often

As for your baby if you spend lots of time with your mum and etc all playing together in a chilled environment baby will get used to the other people and hopefully get more comfortable with them. Also give him stuff of theirs to play with so he gets used to there smell (often this is a big factor I think)

Thank you for answering- I'm glad it's not just my baby! All my friends with similar aged little ones can pass them around happily. My daughter definitely knows her own mind! I see my mum once or twice a week and I'm sure it'll get better eventually. I find it quite embarrassing as her little face just crumples up and she wails the minute I hand her over to anyone!

My DS has just turned 7 months and has been the same. He was fine up until about 6.5 months and now just wants me, if I leave the room, and he is with someone else he just screams. He had also started getting upset when he is left with hubby, so "daddy day" is a bit hard atm. I am watching your thread for advice also to see if I should be socialising him more or if it's just this separation anxiety.

Hi bourbon - babies can be so tricky - I was convinced I'd have a really laid back one, no such luck! She's been like this ever since she was 3 months or so. We meet up with lots of people and go to lots of groups but it doesn't seem to have helped!

From my experience it is a personality type and will take quite a lot of heartache from her before she settles with others, she just needs her Mumma My DD was like this from birth until she went to nursery at 11 months, which in itself was an ordeal as she was so upset for the first few months. However it was the best thing I could’ve done, she is the happiest most confident three year old now. My DS is the opposite, Happy from birth being handed to anyone. I think I’ve actually found it harder to bond with him, as I’ve felt so much less intensely ‘needed’ by him, despite hiim being a much ‘easier’ baby. Funny old thing hindsight!

My daughter was just like this and now she’s a “shy” nearly-4 year old; she still takes time to get used to new people and situations. I did beat myself up about it a lot when she was younger (what was I doing wrong? what was I not doing enough of?) and felt dreadful for family members because she’d scream and want to be held by only her dad and I from around 3-4 months. Looking back I’m not sure I could have done much differently, it’s just her personality - I’ve read a fair bit now around shyness, sensitivity and introversion and all tends to suggest it’s mostly to do with nature and there’s not much you can change with nurture. So please do try not to give yourself a hard time about it, she is who she is.

Try not to let it upset you. Both of mine were like this. It's not a reflection on your parenting or anyone else. It's just their personality. My two are happy outgoing kids now. Time and lots of gentle exposure is the only thing that works.

Yes Glenn it's a bloomin minefield, my DS would happily be passed to anyone until the last couple of weeks, he is teething but was teething then as well. I think I'm just going to have to hope this is a phase that he will come back out of. I hope it's the same for your DD and it gets a bit easier xxx

At six months attachment kicks in. This is when the baby becomes attached to one caregiver- usually the mother. He/she will probably accept partners/husbands because the amount of time they spend with these too and it is believed that a baby is able to form more than one attachment.

www.positive-parenting-ally.com/psychology-attachment.html

Is she happy if you lay her down on a play mat or bouncer? It might be an idea to put her down, rather than pass her to your mum.

My DD was the same. She hated my MIL and screamed as soon as she came in the room. MIL was a bit intense though and insisted on getting really close and plucking her out of my arms.

Many babies are clingy and they grown out of it. What do you plan on doing for childcare when you go back to work?

My DS was/is the same (12 months now.) He is gradually getting better!

Helpful advice from my HV:
Ask your family to take it slow. She may find it overwhelming if people are immediately all over her when they arrive/you take her somewhere. Ask family and friends to play with some of her toys and let your DD take the lead with when she goes over to them (if/when she is mobile.) For my DS food works well for this now, he’ll go and sit with anyone if they might share something tasty

I found it easiest to not force the issue and not leave him with people. It just caused upset all round.
We had a bit of a nightmare starting nursery though so, I would allow plenty of time to get her settled into whatever childcare you’ve chosen for when you go back to work. We had 2 1/2 weeks of settling sessions and it wasn’t enough in hindsight. He is now mostly very happy at nursery though, just over a month later.
We still haven’t braved leaving him with grandparents again but are hopeful that we’ll be able to soon!

My youngest was/ is like this (16 months) Except my mum and dad are the only ones that she will go too. Her dad not so much. I think she associates him with mummy leaving.

She would cry if anyone spoke to her outside but this has greatly improved since going to nursery.

They grow out of it unfortunately can take some time. Just keep trying

My DD was like this too, super clingy from around 6.5 months. She wouldn’t go to anyone other than me or DH and screamed as soon as FIL appeared (not even trying to hold her or play, just sitting there). It was so disheartening to see DD get so upset but it was just her personality.
Unfortunately in our case, it lasted about 6 months. DD started walking the week after her birthday and became a different person overnight, much happier. She’s now 20 months and loves FIL.