Ideas for 5th birthday party for someone who doesn't like parties!

[SpicedGingerTea]

My DS will be 5 in mid April. He's in reception and has been to several parties this year - most of them with mixed success. He likes seeing his friends and playing, but any of actual party stuff he really dislikes - so entertainers, singing happy birthday, the birthday tea etc. He is very sensitive to noise and is much happier in smaller groups.

Problem is he keeps talking about 'my birthday party'. I think he would like to see his friends and so something, but take the whole centre of attention thing out of it. I don't want to do something at home as I don't have the space to host parents as well. Thinking to invite 3 or 4 children.

My only idea would be to suggest a playcentre meet, I pay for children and food (not sure how this bit works), but we miss out on the party room and party lunch idea. Has anyone tried this?

Have also thought about cinema, but it's too expensive!

Any other ideas greatly appreciated.

Or do I just leave it this year? Whatever I do is a risk as he might not like it, but one minute it's 'I want a party' and the next minute he says 'I don't want a party'!

Following this with interest, my ds is similar. Doesn't like attention on him or big groups of people including kids. But still wants a party. He's summer born though so I was thinking of a picnic at the park with couple of friends. Our flat is tiny so that's out of the question. We live in a small town so not many options for soft play etc

Do something he really enjoys and call it a party. My eldest hated parties at the same age. We had a picnic in the woods, with a small number of friends and cake it a party. Admittedly it was July, but there must be an April equivalent.

Find out what would make it a "party" in his eyes. Andrew doing be pressurised into doing other stuff that he doesn't actually enjoy.

I hope you figure something out.

This could be about my daughters friend except he has already had his ‘not a party, party’ They went to a play centre for a few hours. She paid for everyone to come in and tea/ coffee / drink. She told everyone beforehand there wouldn’t be a birthday tea but had some cup cakes for everyone and handed out party bags at the end. Worked well and he enjoyed playing with his friends and marking his birthday without the stress of all the traditional birthday stuff

What about a couple of friends to something like an aquarium or petting zoo type place

Small group of friends to do bowling, climbing, trampoline park type thing instead?

Do you have a forest School near you? We’ve been to a few parties at one local to us. Building dens, toasting marshmallows etc. Not as full on as a typical party. Our boy is the same, likes the idea of a party but not being the centre of attention so never looks like he’s enjoying them. We did a indoor climbing wall for his 6th birthday that went down well, 20min briefing 1hrs climbing then food and cake.

I’d go with the play centre or hire a hall, fill it with hula hoops, bean bags, balloons and mark out a race area with masking tape- and then let them go nuts.
But no tidying up in the play centre . Take your own balloons and tie them to the back of chairs and bring a themed plastic table cover if you want to make it more party like.

Dd hates parties. When she was 5 we took 2 of her best friends to the local “Tropical World” then came home and had party good for lunch. Dead cheap too, because they were all still U5!

Thank you for your comments/suggestions.

I'm worried about a comment someone else made 'If he doesn't have one you have to be prepared for fewer invites as a result'. Which actually isn't a bad thing for my DS as he's not that bothered anyway, but I am worried that if he's always seen as the non participating child people will stop asking him which could impact him socially. So I do feel pressured, I'll be honest!

I might pop into a couple of playcentres and ask if I could do something along that line - i.e. book a table, pay for some squash biscuits/cakes etc, but we take that whole party organiser, being marched into a room, loud music stuff out of it.

How much space do you have in your home? Could you just have a couple of friends over for a play - they play for an hour, do pass the parcel and a couple of games then tea and a happy birthday with cake?

Someone once gave me a rule of thumb that a good number of guests is the child's age plus two. Particularly for more introverted children who just can't cope with 30 manic children in a confined space.

If you're worried about people not inviting home to stuff, make sure you do invite his good friends round to play often enough that he is on their parents' radar. If he only gets invitations from people that he's really comfortable around, that will probably be fine from his point of view.

Does your local cinema do kids AM? It's about £2.50 per head.

I really want to avoid home if possible. I don't mind having one child/parent over, but he is in a group of 4 boys and I think he would like to invite all of them. I just wouldn't want them at home! (I think my poor elderly cat would move out for starters!!)

I like the idea of calling it 'DS's Not a Party Party'. That has a nice ring to it.

PS Thank you for the ideas/suggestions, all good food for thought. I'm a lone parent and DS is my only child, so quite new to all of this,.....! That's also why I want to do something low key, not only is DS introverted but whatever we do I'll be on my own. I'm hoping parents wouldn't drop and run at a play centre for this age group!

Build a Bear is expensive but have you anything similar local to you? One of those places where they paint a plate? They might even let you take in a birthday cake, otherwise decamp to McDonald's or similar afterwards for a happy meal and Colin the Caterpillar.

Make a pizza party at Frankie and Benny's? Saturday morning cheap cinema with Mcdonalds/KFC afterwards? Playbarn type thing is effort free but you may not able to avoid loud music etc.
4 lively boys: treasure hunt of your making in the park followed by hot dog barbecue and soup?

How about something outdoors?

A run around the woods/park, then a bit of a picnic with a flask of hot chocolate?

Our local animal place did an amazing party which could easily be a ‘no party’ party. We took a small number of kids and got to hold different animals and then feed the rabbits then we went round the centre where they had different animals plus climbing frame and soft play place. We did have a lovely party tea but they left us to it so no loud music etc. I am sure we could have just sat in cafe if we had asked. It was a fantastic event. When your ds is older I would see if your local Waitrose does cooking parties. As the focus is on the cooking it is quite quiet but again a great event and I am sure they would be accommodating. We often go with our ds’s interests. We have also done a climbing party but that was for ds2 who does not sit still! Ds1 and ds2 needed something much more low key.

Oh yes we are also national trust members so other ‘parties’ have been taking a friend with us for the day and having a meal there. We have also had a trip on the local mini railway as a birthday celebration. Don’t ever feel you need to do a big party. My ds have only ever had 1 each and don’t feel hard done by.

Thanks again for suggestions. So there's a petting farm near me too, £3 entry for children, £3 for adults. For four children plus one carer/parent that's not too bad, then put on invite I'll get a bag of animal feed and an ice cream (the farm makes icecream and it's divine!)/drink for each child. That should still come in at under £50. Will provide party bags and put a cake in each.

Likelihood some may bring younger siblings, do I pay for those as well?

I think I have my two options, will let DS decide. I need something with something clear to do that doesn't rely on me iyswim!

Obviously that suggestion is very weather dependent though,.....

I had my 3 year old dd's party at a farm park in Dorset last year. Children aged 2-7. All of them loved it and it was great not having to worry about food or party bags. Do they do a deal for parties? The place I booked did and so I was able to accommodate younger siblings. It would have been difficult if I wasn't. And re the weather, many of those kind of places have indoor soft play as well don't they? Rubbish weather didn't bother us where we went.

I would be really explicit with the invites, either talk to parents or make it clear that any additional people are at their own expense. My friend invited ds1 to a day out and said she would pay his entrance fee and bring along picnic food for him however I was welcome with ds2 and ds3 if I was happy to pay for them and bring our food. I was more than happy to and we had a great time. I do agree that it might be worth looking if they do deals for parties you can say you want it low key and you might get some added bonuses and someone to help with lively kids!

For the 5th birthday DS had a party at a miniature trains venue near us (the ones big enough to ride on, not Hornby!)

We set up a marquee, had 3 train rides per child, lots of space to run around, and then the parents/families of the children could hang about after the party was over - supervising their own children- as we couldn't clear up until the venue closed. Was a huge amount of fun, very low pressure on a birthday child.

Venue does do parties, but minimum of 15 children, and price of £225!!

Agree it's best to be explicit on the invite, whatever he chooses to do.