Things to do with newborn

[User1983]

I have a 4 wk old little boy and am not sure if I should be doing anything with him in terms of playing etc. Honestly I’m finding being at home on maternity leave pretty boring and I can’t motivate myself to do housework, cook etc. I have lost my appetite and have maybe 1 sandwich a day. Nothing interests me. I go to a Monday class with him and have signed up to a baby massage class which will be starting but no other classes are really suitable for newborns. He sleeps a lot but even when he’s awake I don’t really give him a toy or anything but I try to talk to him so he can hear my voice. Do I need a playmat or bouncy chair perhaps? I’m worried I’m just a lazy mum who isn’t interested and this will rub off on him. The other thing I hate doing is giving him baths. I top and tail him regularly but I gave him a bath once and it was such a faff I’m avoiding it and sticking to topping and tailing for a while. I did have baby blues and previously had depression pre pregnancy and have started on sertraline which is preventative more than anything. I don’t think I am depressed though. I’m worried and feel guilty that I might just find motherhood boring.

Just talk to him, give him something interesting to look at, just stare at him really (that’s all we do when they are so tiny and cute).

TBH they are very boring in the first few months. They don’t do anything but sleep and cry. It’s a great chance for you to catch up with friends and family, even if just on the phone. Get out and about and see people. Babies are really portable. They'll Sleep anywhere. Don’t confine yourself to the house- that way depression lies (I know!) even if you’re just getting to the shops for a browse on your own or a walk by the park. Get out. Dont stay in staring at the same four walls.

You know what, if you can't be 'lazy' 4 weeks after giving birth then there is something wrong with the world.

Your baby just wants to sleep, eat, have his nappy changed and be cuddled at this age. Everything else is secondary. Just being near you is an experience for him. I don't think my DD really engaged with baby classes etc in any meaningful way until she was at least 4 months old.

It might be worth going back to the GP though about whether the setraline wis working for you. PND doesn't just manifest itself as low mood and the feelings of guilt and the reduced appetite could be indicators.

They can’t take too much stimulation so just talking g to him gently showing him your face and showing him colour contrasts (black/white) will keep him entertained.

Wonder weeks is a great app that tells you more.

Baby and toddler groups for you to talk to other mums/have a cup of tea?

My baby is almost 4 weeks old and he doesn't do a lot. I put him on his playmat at least once a day and show him different toys, and rub them on his face and hands so he can feel the textures, and play music for him to listen to. I make sure he spends a couple of minutes on his tummy once or twice a day, and I encourage him to wiggle around and lift his head to strengthen his muscles. I also talk and sing to him when I'm not too tired. Most of the time he just eats and sleeps though. Books and Netflix are hugely helpful for getting through this boring period!

If you have lost interested in things and a barely eating out of choice then you need to visit the GP as it sounds like you could have PND. Do you have a partner to help/do a weekly bath with your baby?

Your baby needs feeding, changing, cuddles and talking to.

Can you get out to mum and baby cinema, early Mum baby groups so you have something to do.

I watched a lot of telly in the early days. I did find Toddler groups useful, the baby won't care but I found it nice going to see people and have a cup of tea and biscuit. We also went to the library bounce and rhyme group from early to meet people.

The baby’s basic needs must be fulfilled, but so must yours! Any chance you could put the baby in a sling and go to a café for a meal? I lost my appetite at times, but found that being out and about helped bring it back. It’s also nice to get a bit of social interaction, so seeing antenatal group mums for coffee, or going to mum and baby classes are great - more for you than the baby at this stage. Good luck!