2 under 2 - feeling stressed

[Countingsheeeep]

DD is 13 months old and Ds is due in 1 month.

I have been naively optimistic that DD will just sleep through ds crying, however last night we had some unexpected circumstances whereby a neighbours back fence caught fire. The result was a fair amount, but not excessive amount of noise outside 2 hours after she fell asleep.

It disturbed her a couple of times until she got so worked up she was inconsolable. She cried relentlessly for an hour and a half, only stopped if I held her, and eventually fell asleep due to exhaustion. This morning her eyes are swollen and puffy.

I am now in a panic that she will be really disturbed and upset by ds arrival, and that it is going to be nights and nights of hell with her not sleeping through his crying as babies do.

Anyone been here? So stressed and worried now. Ds will be predominantly my responsibility in the early weeks naturally, and dh is pro just letting DD cry but I can't bear it as it breaks my heart 😭

Maybe try some white noise in her room to drown out other sudden noises? We got rid of it when DS was about 9 months but I've just started putting it back on again now at 11 months as his sleep is horrendous at the moment!

She already has white noise playing all night, so unfortunately that won't make a difference :(

Hi, I've got a just turned 2 Yr and a 8 month old. I was worried too as no 1 child always been a light sleeper but found that being around baby noise all day when number 2 arrived seemed to (over a short time) help build up noise tolarence and is sleeping better. Sudden unexpected noises will rouse number 1 like eg siren, alarm but only briefly. I used to hold 2 whilst 1 was having 2 hr daytime nap but now 2 can be as noisy as they like and not disturb 1. Sorry long post but hope it helps a little

I have a 7 week old and a nearly 14 month old. He's sometimes disturbed by the baby but the white noise does help somewhat. I also make sure I respond to baby quickly and he's definitely getting used to it.

DH does toddlers night wake ups and I do newborn. Then ds1 has adult on hand for as long as needed.

You've got this. It might not be as bad as you think. I'm finding it much easier than expected

Definitely get your DP/ DH on board - 2 under 2 is fine but it needs to be a team effort really!

Suspect like others say that your first DC will get used to baby noise pretty quickly tho. Good luck!

P. S your DD will still take up I would say 90% of your attention and DS will fit around your already existing routines. I had a crib/moses in living room for first 2 months so that they could hear each other and I think this helped as when it was feeding time the new baby was within reach. this helped 2 drift off with noise and will now calmly self settle with a cuddly in around 10 mins.

Even if it is awful (it was for us) you will get through it. You will manage. It too shall pass. Both in the buggy to get them to sleep, a drive etc. Tag team four hours each at weekends etc. You'll come up with your own strategies.

Turn up the white noise - louder than you think and then a bit louder than that!

You need to put your foot down with your DH. You are going to be exhausted and emotional and he’s planning to add to your stress by leaving your other baby (who will already be frightened by this new situation) to cry for her parents when she hears a scary noise inside her own house in the middle of the night? The man is an idiot and you are going to have So Much More Work if your DD feels abandoned due to the new baby. Go tell him this exact minute that this shit won’t fly.

On a cheerier note my kids are all used to the noises they all make and sleep through. That includes twins sharing a room. It won’t take her long to get used to it IF she feels safe and loved.

Your DH needs to do the toddler. Simple as that.

It's really the only way to cope with nights with 2 under 2. There is no way you can be in two places at once. That's what we did. Had to just grit my teeth and let him get on with it, and it was fine.