what is the best way of being assertive about your choices/ways of bringing ds up

[thegardener]

last time we saw pil, mil made a big fuss over ds having weeble in his mouth and i handled it the wrong way and said well maybe we should n't give him things that he can put in his mouth - after posting on mn loads of people said this wasn't a problem and it's something i've never had a problem witheither, maybe not the weeble but anything that he can't choke on.

And mil took drink of ds while he was standing up something at his age i'm not too fussed about, he has most of his drinks in his high chair and i let him have his drink while he's out of it too. (he's 14 months)

being a 1st time mum i feel a bit insecure over some decions you make but coming on mn is really helpful. pil are coming over this weekend & i want to know what is the best way of handling situations like this, i want to be assertive with them and don't want to feel undermined. pil have been difficult over other issues in the past.

I have had a rocky relationship with PIL and when the DC were younger my MIL was very good at telling me how to bring up DC etc. I found it best to stick to my guns and say "I have found this works better for us". So on the drink thing I would have said "I like him to be able to get to his drink at anytime so he doesn't get dehydrated". And the weeble - I would have made a joke of it "They put so much in their mouths - it's a good job I can see what this is!". Remember he is your DS - she had her turn with your DH!

If it's something small, I simply leave it. My PILs see DS (who is also 14 months) maybe once a month and if they want to do something every now and again that I don't approve of but which won't kill him, I don't see the point in saying anything. This isn't being a pushover - it's simply compromising for the sake of good family relations and peace.

Try to be firm, say "We've decided to do it this and this way" or just dismiss her concerns, like with the drink "oh there's no harm in him drinking on the go". That's what I used to do with wicked PIL (now ex thankfully!!!)

( what the hell is a weeble?????)

laugh in a friendly way

then completely ignore their suggestions

thanks for your messages and suggetions, i'll put these in practice, i want to start as i mean to go on when it comes to things like this.

funny my dh deals with his m&d by laughing at their suggetions(in a friendly way too) and doing things his/our way.

By the way a weeble is a 70's toy, egg shaped little people that 'wobble & don't fall down'! obviously before your time Enid!

sorry climbingthewalls not enid, although enid you may be too young to remember it too!

i wish

oooh ok now I get you! I have a hazy memmory of one of those toys from my childhood, but I think they where generally before my time! lol

They aren't so small that a baby would choke on them are they!