Getting frustrated with my 5month old

[cds5163]

I just want to give up, I don't really want to give up on my baby but its getting hard. I thought as the get old it was suppose to get easy. He's been so cranky lately, usually he's a good boy. He's whining throughout the day and when I don't get him he's starting to scream. He's being extremely clingy as well. Sometimes as soon as I lay him down, for just a diaper change he starts to cry and I have to settle him. I dont understand why. I feel so bad when he cries. I just want him to be happy, I don't know what I'm doing wrong with him. Then I cosleep with him, the worst sleep ever! He wants to sleep in my arms I can put him down half the time. I get kicked in the stomach, swatted on the face. He wakes up screams mad and like he's angry he's up! Well buddy me too. I literally get no sleep and I usually have the best patience, I really do but when I'm exhausted I get so frustrated. I feel bad. Does it get any easier? Could something my wrong with my baby?

I'm thinking he's overtired too. I tell partner to nap him but he thinks he should try to keep him up as long as possible so he can sleep throughout the night. He just doesn't get it, he reads nothing about sleep, poor guy is clueless. I honestly think its because he has a hard time putting him down. Until he's screaming for sleep, I'll go put him to sleep but I know partner tries to keep him from sleeping. Ughhhh! Frustrating! I'm starting to think he's just better off with me for the whole day, at least we'll both be sleeping.

I think he sounds overtired as well.

Also, they go through phases of extreme clinginess. Mine would at some point cry if I got up on my knees and turned my body to reach a glass if water. I was LITERALLY still touching him. It passes, and druing that time, as someone said, it's good to comfort them as much as you can but if you need the loo they can cry for 2 min.

Your husband needs serious talking to though. At that age "keeping him up so he can sleep through" does not work like that.

Two things. He sounds overtired and needs more regular naps. Second, I would say that he needs more milk in the day. A weaned baby needs the same amount of milk with solids in addition. But by cutting out his day time milk he’s making up for it at night and then not sleeping as much and getting overtired. Offer him milk before food and most of his milk in the day time and see where you get.

I also suspect he may be overtired. At 5 months he is too young to be “kept awake” and the baby’s needs should dictate the schedule.
From how you describe the issues I also wonder if your expectations about maternity are clashing with reality and making things worse. You talk as if by 5 months it should already “be easier” when 5 months is no time at all. The first year is very hard (little sleep, tricky to understand babies’ needs, change in your routine etc) the next two years are hard, then it raises off a bit but I find since you become a mum nothing is easy any more, or maybe I find thinking this way helps me cope with the harder times, just sharing in case it helps.

Not “raises off” but “becomes easier” sorry souls have read before posting!

You’re exhaunted by trying to make life perfect for him. You dislike him crying (perfectly normal few parents do). What you haven’t accepted is that crying is normal to an extent. It doesn’t mean he’s not happy.

So the changes etc just try and let the crying wash over you and get on with the job in hand of chia ting him. You don’t need to stop and comfort him - in fact doing so probably makes it worse. It’s giving him the message there is something bad about being changed that needs comfort. It reinforces the crying.

Feeding solids at 5 months is unlikely to do much harm - it used to be recommended. The current advice is that it’s best to wait until 6 months but accepts that many parents feel babies are ready from between 4-6 months. What you feed at this age is important. If he’s a very big baby then a little baby rice or banana might help settle him for longer.

Sleeping is one of those things. He’s probably picking up your tension. Try napping in the afternoon with him. Ignore the housework and jump into bed with him for a couple of hours dozing. It can feel like heaven on earth. He’s a bit young for sleep training yet but it will get easier.

Pain killers won’t harm him. Better an additional spoonful of Calpol that a child that is uncomfortable.

Children are hard work!!!! You have to remember that these times don't last forever and soon you'll think back to these days.....

If you are uncomfortable with him in your bed then maybe he is too. You just need to get him used to sleeping in his own space. Warm the space, line with an item of your clothes, and put your hand on him for reassurance. He may cry but you are there .....

Try natural teething powders and gels. Offer frozen banana. I he needs paracetamol then give him it.

If he's clean, fed and pain free then the problem is sleep or clinging !!!!

Both work together ..if he's not desperate to cling to you then he will sleep. We spent long times with a hand on the tummy of a baby waiting for them to sleep.

It's just a patience thing. Use routine ...ensure everything is calm before bed.... Good luck ....

Hi Thank you all for the replies. I will try everyone's advice. I will try to get through to my partner, until he gets it, its like he thinks I don't know what I'm talking about. Hopefully we can get this sorted out. He still mainly drinks milk, I give him solids as like a snack, its really just a couple of spoon fulls, probably not even a serving size once a day, a couple days out of the week, if I see him wanting what I'm eating or if I think he hasn't eaten enough. I'm unsure of how to switch the amount his feeds in the night and day. I will have to look that up. When I had him I didn't really have any expectations, I didn't know what I was getting into. Its been a ride awakening, although I tried to read everything I,could about caring for him, it was only kind of surface level, I'm realizing so much I didn't know, unfortunately finding out about them when they becoming problems. By easier i meant, I would have a better understanding of how to care for him and what he needs and I wouldnt be struggling with him. Some moms seem like they reallt have it together, it seems natural for them and their babies and I feel like I'm just winging. Banana harvest you're probably right about the reinforcing the crying but with the sleep I barely get, I feel like my head is spinning and I rather not hear him, I get so overwhelmed and frazzled that I can't get anything done, so if he wants to be with me, he can be with me, if that will make him feel secure. I just wait to do the things I have to do until he's calmer.

I think all mums have days when nothing seems to go right.

Have you tried a dream feed? Even if my boy was asleep I'd wake him up by changing his nappy around 11pm and fed him. He didn't sleep through until 12 months but it did encourage longer sleep at night.

There is nothing wrong with your baby, he’s just being normal. I have three children and my four month old is just like this! Naps for 30 mins during the day, cries if not being held, wants to sleep in my arms all night. This is just babies. All I can say is it downs get MUCH better. Your baby will wake in the night for quite a few months yet but he will be easier during the day.. and happier! Hang in there. It’s all a phase. Try to take it in turns with your partner to get some sleep!

Also, my 6 month old needs to nap up to 5 times between 7 and 7. If he doesn't, he's a mess. I only realised this a month or so ago and it has really improved his mood, Don't let your partner keep your baby awake. You're baby's mummy. You know best.

Honestly at 5 months my girl was just so difficult to keep happy. She didn't get teeth until just now at 7 months. I guess they go through development stages. It's so bloody hard though. It will get better, I really hope that you find a way to get a bit more sleep.

Does he like white noise? My girl calms down instantly with it so I use it for daytime naps, as well as a comforter. Maybe some things to try?

Also I can't deal with crying. I know it's part of it but when she cries it makes my whole body hurt a bit!!

Also I can't deal with crying. I know it's part of it but when she cries it makes my whole body hurt a bit!!

Same. Must be evolutionary - so we didn't leave them outside caves when we were Neanderthals!

Firstly your partner is an idiot and no he is not a “poor guy”, he could listen to you or do his own research about baby sleep (seriously it wouldn’t take much googling to confirm that a 5 month old needs to nap during the day and keeping them awake will make it harder not easier for them to sleep at night )

Secondly I don’t know why PPs are saying there is nothing wrong with your baby, there might be and there might not be, how the hell do they know - no one is a healthcare professional and even if they are, they haven’t assessed your baby have they?!

I think you should see a paediatrician and get any underlying health issues ruled out. For example, reflux or silent reflux, CMPA or other food allergies, or other issues. It might not be any of those things but I would want to get a medical opinion on it.

Personally I don’t think waking every 30 minutes is normal, that’s not even a full sleep cycle. I think your baby is definitely overtired. For sleep advice check out www.babysleepscience.com, they have an excellent blog with lots of sensible advice. Tell your partner to read it too!

@moita it has such a strong effect on me!

Sounds a lot like a wonder week to me!