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Original poster

I'm so scared to leave dd when I go Into labour.

14 replies

Twocatsonebaby · 23/02/2018 18:24

By the time I have ds she just be over 11 months. Dp will be with me to the hospital but my mom will be looking after dd. She sees my mom a lot and loves her. I trust my mom anyway I just worry about dd.
She's never been apart from us really. I recently went back to work for a few months and apparently dp says she was a nightmare because she constantly cried for me. But I've noticed something. If either one of us leaves the room, she will cry and cry and cry and it breaks my heart. We've never left her with any of our parents or family. Maybe an hour when dp was at work I needed the dentist. Mom said she was fine but I could be in labour for ages.

My ideal goal is to wait it out in labour at home as much as possible. My mom is staying at our home to not disrupt her as much as possible. But I'm worried about how dd will cope :( I'll miss her so much.

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geekymommy · 23/02/2018 18:28

My DD was almost three when I had DS. DD co-slept with us and had never spent a night away from me since she came home from the NICU at the age of one week. My MIL had to sleep in the bed with DD, but she was fine while DH and I were at the hospital.

My point here is, your DD will be okay. She might cry, she might not like it, but she's very unlikely to be harmed at all in the long term.

Original poster

Twocatsonebaby · 23/02/2018 18:30

That's reassuring :) I think it's more myself worrying more than she will. I know my mom will look after her. She's her world and she will take her out, entertain her etc I think I'll just really miss her

OP posts:

Babayaggatheboneylegged · 23/02/2018 18:34

Well in the nicest possible way, it's something that is going to have to happen (unless you opt for a home birth) and so you're both going to have to make the best of it.

I know it's not nice to see or think of your kids being upset, but she'll be looked after by a loving grandparent, who will probably spoil her, and she won't remember any of it.

I can guarantee that the brother you'll bring home to her will manage to cause her a fair bit of upset in the years to come!

I'm probably a mean old mum, but I honestly accept that loads of things in my kids lives will upset them, that I'll have endless opportunities to disappoint them, but I do think/hope that, big picture wise, they are overall happy and loved.

Good luck with the birth!

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Smurfy23 · 23/02/2018 19:46

I agree with PP- she will be fine. Is it possible for her to spend a bit of time with dm before you go in just so they get used to being together and your mind is put at rest?

BellyBean · 24/02/2018 10:59

I think you need to do a few trials in the weeks before your due date. You don't want to be worrying about her while you're in labour.

We went for a lovely night away when I was 7 months pregnant as an excuse for a trial run. DD was thoroughly spoilt by her grandparents and although was a little tearful at one point, nothing cuddled, tv and a food treat didn't solve!

Sarsparella · 24/02/2018 11:01

Agree with other posters that you should do a trial run before your due date, arrange it now!

BellyBean · 24/02/2018 11:03

You need to make sure your mom can do the key times in the day by herself - meals, naps and bedtime routine so ideally she'll help you one time and do it herself the next.

Irishtwinmumma · 24/02/2018 17:44

I was exactly the same! My DD has to stay with my MIL which she doesn’t see very often! Luckily second time round the birth is so much faster! My DH stayed with me in hospital and went to see her first thing in the morning. And came to pick me and DD2 in the afternoon! She will be ok, she might cry a bit but that’s about it. Just like mine did. My daughter have the same birthday btw! ☺️ You will be ok and you DD too!

Dragongirl10 · 24/02/2018 17:47

OP when my DD was 16 months , l went into hospital for a complicated C section and was gone 3 days, my DD had never been away from me but stayed in her routine with my DM at home and was absolutely fine, no crying or drama.

Once you are gone as long as everything else stays the same, l am sure she will be fine with your DM who she knows well.

WheresTheEvidence · 24/02/2018 17:47

How old is she? When are you due?

PasstheStarmix · 25/02/2018 23:22

I have this same exact worry OP and can completely sympathise. I bet you’re little one is thoroughly spoiled at her grandmothers and has a lovely time.

PasstheStarmix · 25/02/2018 23:23

your*

Herja · 25/02/2018 23:34

Have a trial run and more one on one time during the day between them now. But at the end of the day, the worst that happens is she's a bit teary for a day/night, she'll still be loved, looked after - then you'll be home again.

In any case, you don't know what will happen. Mine are 22 months apart, so older than yours, but he'd never spent longer than 1 hour away from me and even that only once. I put him to bed already in labour and was back home with his sister before he was even awake in the morning. You never know what will happen, so try not to worry yourself about what might be.

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore · 25/02/2018 23:52

I was so worried about leaving my ds that I would stand by his cot and cry imagining him going to sleep and waking up while I was in hospital having dd and no knowing where I was!

I won't pretend that it was great - I was stuck in hospital for over a week and came back home a mess after an emergency c-section. But I think it was much worse for me than for him! He had a great time with his grandmother and enjoyed visiting me in hospital! He is exhibiting some mildly challenging behaviour since I got home, but well within the 'normal' range!

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