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Original poster

Is it illegal or just frowned upon to leave a 3 yr old brat screaming in her room whilst I go out for the afternoon?

35 replies

Flamesparrow · 03/05/2007 12:40

Please don't tell me brat is offensive - she is mine and if you were around to hear "I DON'T WANT TO BE IN MY ROOM" You would use exactly the same term.

She wanted to go in the park after school.

I have things to do, have to wait in for a parcel etc, so I said not today, but tomorrow we are going to go to the park with X and have a picnic.

"I want to go to the PARK TODAY"

No - you can go tomorrow with X, we cannot go today.

continue with the park chant/yell.

If you continue saying that you will be in your room for 5 mins time out when we get home.

It got bumped to 15 by the time we got to the car.

If you are a nice little girl the whole way home then you can earn back your freedom.

"I want to play games on the computer"

No. You can have 20 mins when I cook tea - when we get home you can play in the garden... you can have a bowl of water etc to play with (she likes that).

"NO!!!"

So we get in. I put her in her room behind stairgate.

Screaming, slamming/opening door.

The alarm is now going off to say her time is up in there, and I don't want to let her out as she is still being a possessed demon child.

Fed up. I always seem to be on here begging for help. I try everything you suggest and she is still evil. Yes, I know I need her to grow out of it - but then you lot come and tell me that 4 yr olds are worse

One thing I am grateful for - this is a normal preschooler tantrum, not an AS one

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mamma2kids · 03/05/2007 12:51

I bet she has no idea why she is in her room any more.
Maybe the whole thing got out of proportion. Could you have suggested other nice things to do at home if she was dissappointed not to go to the park today?
My approach with my 3yo (rightly or wrongly) is to try and steer round trouble until they do hopefully grow out of it.

mumblechum · 03/05/2007 12:51

Get yerself some earplugs and ignore the little miss.

Saturn74 · 03/05/2007 12:53

It's not illegal, only frowned upon.
Enjoy your afternoon!

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Original poster
Flamesparrow · 03/05/2007 12:55

I did give her nice things to do.

I also told her that she had new clothes waiting at home for her (she likes clothes) - and she said to throw them in the bin as she didn't want them.

She knows exactly why she was there, she is now allowed out and she is kicking off about the tv & computer.

I'm sick of a house full of toys for her to sit in front of machines. Neither are going on.

OP posts:
Original poster
Flamesparrow · 03/05/2007 12:55

HC

OP posts:
PinkTulips · 03/05/2007 12:57

o god, i have the 2 yr old version.

((((sympathy)))))

Carmenere · 03/05/2007 12:59

Oh dd(same age) did this to me on holiday with my parents in Spain. I DON'T WANT TO GO OUT repeatedly for about 2 hours, eventually I bribed her with an ice cream. Which she ate and then announced that she was still sad!!!
They are definitely brats on occasion.

mamma2kids · 03/05/2007 13:01

Fair enough

Original poster
Flamesparrow · 03/05/2007 13:06

Betcha lookin forward to it with an extra year's practice

OP posts:
oliveoil · 03/05/2007 13:13

ok

think if you were 3

you do not give two craps about parcels or jobs or staying in the house yadda yadda

all you see is mean mummy not letting you go out to the park in the sunshiiiiiiiiiiiiiine

then mean mummy ups your punishments rather rapidly which freaks you out

and says no to everything else you want

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, door slamming

so maybe go upstairs and say, now, lets have a hug, I know you are fed up re park but we have to wait for parcel etc, so why don't we have a snack in the garden [huge fake smile]?

or whatever else she likes. Lay on the enthusiasm.

I have this quite often and what works with dd1 (4) is distraction. She says she wants park, I pretend I didn't hear, and then loudly say "ohhhhh, guess what I have at home, more ICE POPS IN THE FREEZER (or whatever)"

oliveoil · 03/05/2007 13:15

I am not saying you are a mean mummy, just that is what their little brains think

PinkTulips · 03/05/2007 13:23

oh yeah....

she's a right monstor for us but a complete angel for everyone else, so frustating when playschool tell me how good she is and then 2 mins in the door she's writhing on the ground becase mommy poured her juice instead of daddy!

Original poster
Flamesparrow · 03/05/2007 13:24

Believe me - I did do all the excitable things before we got to the seriously pissed off and upping time in room stage.

I think our biggest problem here is that I have started restricting tv & computer time and she's not happy.

She is now being lovely, playing with DS, wearing said new clothes.

OP posts:
KristinaM · 03/05/2007 13:26

sell her on eBay

OrmIrian · 03/05/2007 13:26

Agree with olive. Easier said than done I know when she's being horrible and you would rather avoid her completely. But I can guarantee that she's feeling worse than you. Probably.

CantSleepWontSleep · 03/05/2007 13:28

I think it is illegal. But when the police turn up you can tell her they've come to lock her up for being a brat, but might let her go if she promises to be good forever and ever!

kimi · 03/05/2007 13:35

FLAMESPARROW, you want to leave your daughter to scream IN HER ROOM how long have you been a mother?????
Do you know NOTHING???
You NEVER never leave a child in their room to scream, good lord woman.

You lock them in the cupboard under the stairs or the garden shed, do i have to tell you everything.

WHAT do you think they are there for? The hoover? the lawn mower????

Well really!!!!!!!!

PinkTulips · 03/05/2007 13:43

pmsl

dp does look longingly at the hot press when dd is being paticularly obnoxious!

Eleusis · 03/05/2007 14:00

Sorry to tell you this, but I have the 4 year old version. And don't anyone dare come on hear and announce there is a 5 year old version as well!

When I send her to her room / naughty step, she is not allowed to come off ntil she has calmed down for about a minute so that we can calmly discuss what went wrong.

My current big frustration is that she keeps peeing in her pants, and last night I discovered she REAKLLY doesn't like to tell me about it. So from now on I'm going to make her tell me abouti t in a nice calm refrain from killing the little brat kindd of way. I'm just going to make her talk about it and pray that it works.

Pannacotta · 03/05/2007 14:07

Agree with olive, also know its v hard to distract tantrumming (sp?) child...
My DS has such tantrums when we are out sometimes that people stop and stare and its even harder now am 39 weeks pregnant as I cant just scoop him up and whisk him away.
But I do find that pretending I can't hear his repeated rantings/demands and distracting him/offering sth nice both help...

kimi · 03/05/2007 14:12

my cousin used to have tantrums and would lay on the ground and scream, My aunt just stepped over her and walked on

oliveoil · 03/05/2007 14:18

the trick is to try and get in there fast BEFORE they combust

Pannacotta · 03/05/2007 14:24

Agree olive but my DS can turn in a matter of seconds, did it yesterday and with no apparant reason/cause so it can be hard.
Any tips on knowing the signs?

oliveoil · 03/05/2007 14:26

steam from ears?

Oh I don't know, I sort of get a feel for what sort of mood they are in and whether they are going to kick off

JodieG1 · 03/05/2007 14:26

Eleusis, sorry but there is. My dd is 5 and she does tantrums very well. It shocks me actually as she stamps feet, waves arms about like a demented thing, bangs on the floor, screams and generally goes a bit wild! Thankfully not very often and usually whens she's tired. She's usually a very lovely and polite little girl.