Is it too late to teach my 5 year old my language?

[Tills85]

So before I start no one here can't make me feel any worse than I already do about the fact I didn't teach my son my language. I moved to UK nearly 15 years ago when I was a teen. I very quickly pucked up the language & even the local accent. Fast forward years and i had a son. I used to read him books in my language and would speak to him in it too. However when i left his dad and went back to work my son was 9 months old. He was in full time nursery & I was working. After a while i have noticed that when I was speaking to him in my language after coming home from nursery & work he would get very frustrated and cry. I asked a health visitor about it and she said it was probably because he has been hearing english all day at nursery ( he couldn't yet speak at that point) he wss tired & was just getting angry because he couldn't focus by then. Gradually I stopped. It wasn't a councious decision I didn't want him to learn but being a singke mum, working long days, getting him from nursety & having to do all the chores after getting in it was just easier for bith of us. And yes I know i should have pushed it and just ride out the frustration vut well I didn't. Also his dad & nan he sees 2 x per week are english. It was always at the back of my mind but it was never a massive issue. However I notice it more & more now he is nearly 5 and he is for example unable to comunicare with ny mum or when we go back to my country I have to always be with him to translate.
So I suppose my question is is it too late? If i push it now & start speaking my language at home will he learn? How do I go about it? Because now I will obviously have to translate everything. Will it not affect his learning at school? Please help! I know he will probably never be as fluent in my language as he is in English but I really am determined for him to know at least basics so that he can comunicate with his family. Thanks

I think he has got to want to learn your first language. It's definitely doable. So it has to be fun and possibly incentivised? Can you get some resource materials for nursery/ Reception aged children sourced from your birth country?

I can. I have books / dvds / apps but it is only now he has expressed he wants to learn. I just have no idea how to go about it

Is it the same alphabet as English? That will be easier.
Otherwise start by going through the basic books teaching him simple words.
Look on YouTube for some videos too- e.g nursery rhymes in your home language.

When DC was a baby nearly every other mother I knew from playgroup was teaching their LO a second language. I didn't and was told over and over that if I ddn't start now then it would be "too late" (that is, DC would find it harder).

At 3 when he started going to nursery, DC started learning French. He took to it like a duck to water. Within months he was learning TWO OTHER languages!

Age is not the only factor. If your child has an "ear" as mine does, or can hear the language around them naturally as yours does, it makes no difference when they start imo.

You tube videos, books, apps, all good. There are whole courses out there. Do you know any language teachers who can give you some pointers/ If not, maybe look for a tutor (sounds silly when it is your own language, but they are trained to teach). Just one or two lessons might give you some pointers.

It's much easier for children to learn another language before puberty.

Apart from that, yeah I guess you need him to be interested in learning it!

My grandparents used to take my brother and I away during the school holidays when we were small and only speak their language with us. We certainly easily got to a point of being able to understand. Didn't keep it up though to my regret so I can't speak it now.

Is it an unusual language? A lot of primary schools teach language. DS is going to an immersive one which I’m slightly nervous about. They seem to think 5 or 6 is a perfect age to start.

There’s an online language resource called Rocket. I have the French one and put it on when the kids are occupied, but if DS (4) wanders in he starts repeating the phrases and learning with me just for fun. Maybe you could casually introduce something like that?

I’m sure he will show an interest at some point. Kids are like sponges! Just throwing out words here and there will likely have more effect than you realise at first.

Thank you for you positive comments. I looked into some apps / websites that give few pointers on where to start. I feel a bit more positive about it

My dad learned Spanish in his late 50's. Anything is possible!

Just speak to him all the time in your language all the time from now on. Total immersion is the quickest, easiest way, especially with a child so young.

You could start by teaching him some childrens' songs, or just some simple everyday nouns - for example, by writing a shopping list together. Or talk and read aloud with him about something he's already interested in (eg Star Wars, Spiderman, Lego whatever it is he's into, but only use your language).

And leave him alone with your mum sometimes when she visits or when you go to your home country. I don't think you need to do any specific teaching when you're a native speaker yourself.

YouTube is good as an extra, but kids learn languages a lot faster from real live people than from watching things on screens. And it can be a fun, special thing to share together.

I know some kids who moved country and had to pick up a 2nd language at ages 6 & 4. It took them about 6 months to get confident and maybe 10 months to be fluent and now, not yet 2 years later, you would think that they were born here (until you hear their parents, who have not learned so fast...)

Hi, I don't think it's too late. My parents moved to the UK when I was 5 , my brother 7 and we picked it up in only a few weeks.It suddenly just went click (where at an only English school so really had no choice). When we returned my mother tongue was quite alien to me although it was our main language at home in theory, in practice we had friends over it would tell stories that happened during the day in English...it's still the language closer to my heart I'd say although it is not my first language. I think what is most important, is that YOU feel happy switching languages now. Language is a highly emotional thing and I have many friend fluent in two languages but their relationship language is one specific one and they always jump back to one. I only have one friend with whom I was able to switch our relationship language. If you speak to your child it has to feel natural and work for both of you. So while full immersion is definitely the quickest way and when starting with a baby that only one I'd recommend, now as your child is 5 I probably let it go more gradually, whatever feels right. You are not going to confuse his English, that's all around anyway. So Iv think I would start with singing, videos (maybe of things already known in English) looking at books. My five year old started about 2 years ago to make me ask her things in a specific book..one of those for babies that has a pictures of every day things...I'd point and she'd try to say the word...similar to how you'd do it with s baby that can't speak yet. ..try and find something that works for you, don't force it. And obviously any time I your home country, maybe skyping with your family etc or even bilingual playgroups I your area... Anything that involves the language I a regular basis is great. Best of luck and loads of fun!

Apologies for the typos!

It's not too late and don't be too hard on yourself. Kids are like sponges and can easily learn new languages, but on the other hand they can be really resistant when exposed to another language when their world is in English.

We are trying to get dd (6) into dh's language but since we moved to an English speaking country she is just not interested. We are taking her to a Kids' language school once a week for a couple of hours. It does nothing in terms of language aquision but shows her that other people use this language. It is great that your parents speak to your son in their native language. It sounds daft but my parents-in-law speak to dd in English as she doesn't appear to understand them in their language. It drives me bonkers.

I think perseverance is the key. Speaking everyday, stories, songs, tv programs if posdible. Even if your son seems disinterested or insists on English carry on with your native language. At least he will grow up being able to understand it. Also lower your expectations, unless you spend a significant amount of time in your original country or around other speakers he will probably never be a fluent speaker.

We know the only way to get dd to speak dh's language is to move back there.

A started learning English at the age of nine, in school. From what I recall we first learned simple words (mostly nouns) and then worked with short stories and songs ("three blind mice" etc.) I think it will work best if it's a shared thing between you and your child, perhaps a secret language between the two of you... passively learning a language by forcing oneself (or forcing the child) to use different apps won't do it, there has to be a personal interest.

Which language is it by the way? (Curious)

What language is it?

I'd start by reading every night to your DC in your native language and also watching TV in that language if possible. Comprehension should improve quite quickly, but fluency will undoubtedly require a period of immersion (e.g. over a summer holiday).

Don't be discouraged if talking takes a while - some children take much longer to talk than to understand. My DS was in an immersion situation daily from age 2 but it took a couple of years before he talked much.

Not too late at all. I agree with the immersive approach as long as your son is happy with it. Our son is 2 and a half. My husband only ever speaks his language to him and it seems to be working.

Don't worry - at his age he is like a sponge and really open to learning.

It is not too late, but it depends on the language, your determination and the exposure you can offer him. For example. My daughter at 4.5 started to learn French. I do not speak French and neither does my husband. I found after school clubs, did French flash cards with her and then got her into a French bilingual school. Found French nannies to spend some hours with her over the weekend to read etc in French. Now, 1.5 years later she is completely fluent in French. French people are always so surprised she comes from an English only speaking family. The more exposure you can give your son the better.

Interesting. If I may ask: what was the trigger to start this process?