I'm a teen Mum

[Lollipop200]

This isn't really a question. I just wanted to get this off my chest really. Keep in mind that I'm a teen Mum, and I get judged every day by people who don't know me or my situation.

I'm not doing this for attention. I just heard about this site, then made an account with a friends email and here we are.

I'm Ava, and I'm Eighteen. I have an almost one year old Son called Tristan. He's the love of my life and he's the reason I left his Father (But that's another story for another day)

I feel like I'm not doing my best for my Son even though I work part time at a brilliant place - I got myself a job as a playground assistant and cleaner at a Local Primary School. My Uncle helped me get the job, he used to teach there before he met his girlfriend.

I was born into a verbally and emotionally abusive family. My Mum and Dad constantly fought and constantly blamed it on me and my little brother, they used to call us names, laughed at us. There's too much to mention and I don't like talking about it - I'm scared that one day I'll wake up and something will have switched in me and I'll basically do to my Son what my parents did to me

I'm way too scared to tell my Uncle how I feel because he worries. He's been my guardian since I was Nine and I hate to upset him and his girlfriend. They've both been so good to me that I feel if I tell them and they take it badly then it'll be my fault

Didn't want to read and run - the fact that you wrote this post proves you will never turn out like them. You sound like an amazing mum

You are amazing. I am full of admiration for you. It's hard having a child. It's hard to bring up a child alone. It's hard to be a teenage parent. It's hard to survive a difficult upbringing. It's hard to have no parental support.
Keep on doing what you are doing. Just love your child. Take any support you can get- in real life and on here.
You're not going to suddenly turn into a different person. You are loving and must have a steely core of strength.
Keep on keeping on xx

Hi Lollipop. Welcome to the site. All mums are very welcome, regardless of age. I'm sure you will get lots of good advice as many people have been in the same position and are desperate to break the cycle of abuse. The first thing I'm going to suggest is that you have this thread deleted and make a new one. You and your son have relatively unusual names and that combined with other details makes you identifiable. Given that you have ex issues, that might not be best. To get it deleted, just report your post by clicking on the three little dots on the right hand side of your post and ask for it to be deleted.

All Mums worry that they won’t be good enough, aren’t do a good job.

The terrible guilt you feel from the moment they are born is one of those things you don’t find out about until after they are born.

Please do talk to your Uncle, I’m sure he will reassure you that you are doing a good job (we all need that sometimes).

Welcome to MN, btw it’s not a great idea to put all your personal info in a post. We don’t usually use names etc.

I had my dd at 17. No way does it make you less of a great dm!! You sound like you have already made responsible decisions regarding what's best for your ds. My dm wasn't very good and my df didn't bother, just made me more determined to be a great dm and enjoy my dc. You can do the same for your ds. I bet he is amazing too!!

Hi OP I had my first dc at 16. I have come from a troubled background and like you I became a single mum for the benefit of my dc. I had CBT when I was younger as I lived every day with the same thoughts as you, I still get them now and again almost 13 years later! But I am a good mum and I fought very hard to be one. I have the family I never thought I would have and I am settled. You are a good mum, you are working you are providing for your son and to even post a post like this shows that you have your son at your first thought.

Can I just say well done to you, you sound like an amazing woman and you are not just a teen mum you are a mum! Don’t compare your upbringing to your sons use that as a focus of what not to do or be like.

Good luck 💜

Please excuse lack of grammar and punctuation, posting while in Tesco!

You're a fab mom the very fact you have recognised your concern puts you streets ahead you won't repeat the same mistakes as you have awareness. This site is really supportive so please do keep posting if you need to. I would recommend speaking to your uncle he is aware of your past and I am sure you will find he will understand and some RL support will help. I think you are an inspiration having got your daughter out of a bad situation, working hard to provide for her and support both of you

That's a lot of identifying info in your opening post - maybe ask Mumsnet to edit and you need a read up in Internet safety.

If you are self aware enough to be reflective of your parenting compared with your upbringing, you're generally likely to be be a better at parenting than you experienced. Especially if you have good support around you. And that applies at any age.

If there anything specific that worries you?

Hi lollipop i'm was also a teen mum (now 22 so still young mum) and i know sometimes how hard it can be, But from what you have posted seems to me that you are doing a fantastic job with your Son