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Parenting

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Daughter isn't talking

29 replies

SamanthaH92 · 19/02/2018 16:33

My daughter will be 22 months soon and is barley talking. She has been able to say bye for months. We have had ball, sky, door and dog. Maybe a few others. She understands you perfectly she just does not speak. If i say go pick dolly up and give her to daddy she will do just that. If we are reading and i ask where a animal is like a fox she will point it out. I just don't understand why she isn't speaking when she understands what you are saying. I wasn't worried but my sister told me yesterday her friends daughter who is 2 is a good little speaker but they have refered her to someone for her speach. How can i improve it?

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Rosesaremyfriend · 19/02/2018 16:35

I went through similar with both of my dc, very few words until 2.5 and then they just started talking.

As long as the understanding is there I really wouldn't be overly concerned at this stage.

DenPerry · 19/02/2018 16:38

Mine babbled from being a baby but no words until 2.5 and is only now speaking in sentences at nearly 4. 22 months is nothing to worry about! Just keep chatting and chatting (I found that hard to get used to!)

Makingworkwork · 19/02/2018 16:39

Speak to your health visitor and ask their advice. I would be asking to get her hearing checked.

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SamanthaH92 · 19/02/2018 16:42

I know her hearing is fine. She wouldn't understand everything we say or come when i shout her.

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Drinaballerina · 19/02/2018 16:42

My 22 month old is much the same. I Just keep doing lots of talking to her and leave lots of gaps so she can reply (even if its nonsense!). Dd1 was talking very well at this age so I know its hard not to worry!

HotCrossBunFight · 19/02/2018 16:42

I found from.speaking to my HV that what is deemed "normal" developmentally is quite different to what counts as "normal" when comparing to other children. My son was a slow talker but was still within the realms of normal according to the HV. At 4 he speaks really well and has a great vocab.

GreenTulips · 19/02/2018 16:45

Do you ask her questions - do you want juice or milk? So she has to answer?

If she's listening she's learning - you won't stop her in 6 months time.

PancakeInMaBelly · 19/02/2018 16:45

Is she your only? Does she get a lot of 1:1 attention? Some kids who CAN talk dont bother cause they have their slaves parents wrapped round their little finger so they dont need to bother talking to get your attention.

Pinkkahori · 19/02/2018 16:48

My dd2 was like this. She barely spoke til she turned 2 and then all of a sudden she could speak in sentences.
As a pp mentioned she did have dd1 who was more than happy to speak for both of them so I suppose she just didn't feel the need.
I was always confident that her hearing and understanding were fine though so I just left her to it.

OutyMcOutface · 19/02/2018 16:48

Both of my children were like this. No obvious problems. Pitt the younger allegedly didn't say sword until he was three so no reason to worry I think (easier said than done though-I would know, and so would my poor HVBlush)

Allthecake · 19/02/2018 16:56

My DS is 2 and a half and very recently his speech has massively improved. He was about the same as your DD at 22 months but recently it seems as though something has just clicked and he's showing a lot more interest in words and talking. I'd speak to your health visitor though, ours referred us to audiology to rule out hearing difficulties.

SamanthaH92 · 19/02/2018 16:58

Yes she is my only for the next few months. Currently pregnant. I do ask her questions and if i say do you want a juice? for example she just nods her head and makes noises.

My MIL said she was copying grandpa speaking the other week but then came home and just babbles for us or screams if we don't understand her. X

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SamanthaH92 · 19/02/2018 17:02

The other thing is, you can say what does a wolf, pirate or pig say and she will tell you but that and the few words seem to be as far as we are getting x

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GreenTulips · 19/02/2018 17:05

I do ask her questions and if i say do you want a juice? for example she just nods her head and makes noises

Move away from yes or no questions - give choice questions

Littlefish · 19/02/2018 17:13

My dd was just like this. At 22 months she could make a few animal noises and had a few consistent, invented words for things. I talked to a friend who is a speech and language therapist. She said that if the comprehension is good and the child clearly indicates by action that they understand what's being said, then there really isn't any need to worry.

Sure enough. Within a couple of months dd went from almost no words to speaking in short sentences.

SamanthaH92 · 19/02/2018 17:15

Greentulips i will try that and see. Thank you every one. We stay in a lot too. Don't really go to mother or toddler groups because i find them to clicky and awkward. I've had mothers move their children away from her before, could that be another reason affecting her? Xx

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HeyDuggeeandtheSquirrels · 19/02/2018 17:26

As pp have said at 22 months try not to worry about it too much she may just be taking her time. Where I am speech and language and HV don't start to worry till they are 2.5 as the language often just comes in its own time. One tip I did pick up from speech & language was that a common thing is actually asking too many questions and to adopt a rule of 5, so for every question you ask there also needs to be 4 statements/observations to give them the variety in vocabulary.

Fruitbat1980 · 19/02/2018 17:51

As someone with a 3.75 year old with severe speech delay I fee your pain. I started stressing about 18 months ago , and I’m only finally calming as in last 3 months its like someone has flicked a switch and floodgates have opened. We’ve had some speech therapy sessions but I’ve been disappointed with them, I probably expected too much but they’ve not helped, persistent chat, coaching and modelling at home have.
I wouldn’t worry at 2.5 much but make HV/ doctor aware so your on the path to help if you need it. I absolutely recommend the ‘choices’ approach. My son was never asked a yes or no question as soon as we realised he was a reluctant speaker , always given options, and he soon realised communication was way to get what he wanted (red car/ yellow car, milk shake/ lemonade, cake/ biscuit, carrot/ pea. It really helped. Also loads of resources online for encouraging speaking.

Makingworkwork · 20/02/2018 09:04

If your child has ‘glue ear’ or moderate hearing problems then she may hear well in some situations but may struggle in other situations.

Fruitbat1980 · 20/02/2018 09:23

Yes sorry forgot to add they think our son had glue ear as a 1 year old hence we didn’t pick it up, and it delayed his speech.
Website I found helpful is www.talkingpoint.org.uk

davidbyrneswhitesuit · 20/02/2018 09:28

With glue ear, particularly if she's in a home environment one on one with you, the reduced hearing might not be apparent (as Makingworkwork says). I've had experience of this with one of my DCs (though their speech wasn't affected). Definitely worth double-checking....might be that there's no cause, but it's something you can rule out.

Spudlet · 20/02/2018 09:34

DS is similar (although he's 26 months). The advise I've been given by the HV is lots of choice questions - so rather than 'do you want juice?' it's 'water or juice?' Also, we have to try and get him to engage with books - we've always read to him and encouraged him to point at the ball, the dog etc, but now we need to move on to 'what noise does the dog make?' And so on.

We are having some success with the questions, once we found the right ones. 'Water or milk' gets nothing, because he doesn't mind. But 'Would you like a banana, or would you like to get down [from the table]?' gets us an attempt at 'nana', because he really does want the fruit! Also, on walks we let him out of the pushchair whenever he says 'down' (this is in the woods so it's safe), rather than allowing him to tell us with his body language. Basically, we're playing a bit dumb with him.

I am also making a real effort to simplify my speech a bit and emphasise some words (so BANANA and DOWN in the question above, for example), so he has the best chance of making the association between the word and the thing.

It's too soon to say if this will crack it, but I think we're making very gradual progress. He's always been a child who needs to have a reason to do new things - he needed to be put in places where crawling wasn't practical (outside on the grass, he didn't like the feel on his hands) before he would walk and so on. Once he's seen the point of something, he's off, but I think he's a bit of a minimum effort for maximum output sort of person.

The SALT team here does drop-in sessions every so often - we're hoping to get to own tomorrow, as it happens, so might be worth asking your HV if anything similar happens where you are?

Spudlet · 20/02/2018 09:36

Oh and also, I've noticed he doesn't seem to hear as well in certain environments (such as playgroup, where there's background noise) so we are currently waiting for a hearing test appointment, just to rule out glue ear or similar. He might just be distracted and ignoring boring old Mummy of course, but there's no harm in ruling out any problems.

Spudlet · 20/02/2018 09:37

Advise?! Advice! [dies of shame] Blush

widgetbeana · 20/02/2018 09:42

Hi, I know you say her hearing is fine, but pleas ask your HV to send you for a hearing check anyway. My dd2 was not speaking much but understood and responded to us well. When she was checked she had severe glue ear which was blocking certain frequencies and making it hard for her to hear and copy whole words.

She was given medication for her constant chesty coldness and suddenly she started speaking and her snot levels reduced and the glue ear went.

If she hadn’t been my 2nd I would have bought it was ok, but she was so different from my 1st I thought I would check. It was a fun easy test for her, but made the world of difference.

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