How on earth do I look after a 3-yr-old + newborn who won't be put down?

[mrsroboto]

3-y-o DC can be an angel but also can be a screamy nightmare if he doesn't get exactly what he wants in the right way (typical 3yo behaviour, I hope). He's also still not entirely potty trained and needs prompting/supervising/wiping on potty/toilet which he can sit on for half an hour at a time.
Newborn is 3 weeks old, cries when put down for more than 3 mins and will only sleep for any length of time when being cuddled on someone (i.e. about 3 hours rather than 2 in crib with sleepyhead).

So far I've survived as have had help but next week I'll have a couple of days of doing this alone as DH at work from 6.30am - 7.30pm. I have no idea how I'll make DC1's lunch and tea, entertain him, help him on potty etc and avoid tantrums all on about 3 hours sleep! Even if I could get out the house with the pram I'm terrified of DC1 running off into the road - he's pretty sensible but pavements here are v narrow and blocked up with bins etc so going anywhere on my own is a nightmare.
I thought I'd be ok but I went out with them both and my mum and it was an eye-opener as to how difficult it is just to pop round the corner.

Any tips? I've already had a little cry when DH popped out today for 30 mins, DC1 had a meltdown cos he wanted to go and baby again wouldn't be put down. We have a moses basket, sleepyhead, gentle swinging chair and next2me crib but nothing seems to help during the day. I have a wrap sling I can try but still not convinced I can cook tea wearing him etc.

You have a 3 week old and a toddler and had a c section! I know life has to go on to a certain extent, but now is the time to call in all your favours. You just need to survive the days. Get DH to cook dinner when he gets home. Or throw a pizza in the oven. Toddler eats pretty basic meals that can literally be assembled from the fridge or microwaved. Don’t forget lunch for yourself.

If you can get out to burn off some energy that will help. take the baby in the sling and hold toddlers hand. Baby will (hopefully) sleep for the whole trip. My DS is younger but I used to put him in the pushchair and baby in sling as I didn’t trust him not to do a runner and c section meant I couldn’t chase him.

What about some kind of swing for the newborn? That was a lifesaver for me having somewhere to put DD where she’d sleep and I could deal with life without holding her

I'm glad you're trying the sling. Like you I couldn't get on board with it with dc1, but with dc2 it was a necessity. She slept in it for all of her naps until she was about 6 or 7 months I think - it was a blessing and a curse. Dd1 was a bit older than yours though. This time dd2 will be (just) 2 when dc3 arrives - eek.

I would make packed lunches for you and dc1 the night before, or ask dh to do it. As others have said - simple dinners. Even the odd takeaway won't hurt. Personally I would get DH to make a batch of ragu and then just heat up each night - spaghetti bol, chilli, cottage pie etc.

As for activities. If you can get to the park it helps enormously. TV is also ok too when things get tough. How does your LO feel about colouring? I used to set up lots of activities the night before for my eldest and found that worked really well. I also got her a drinks bottle so she had access to water all day long without me needing to replenish cups of water at awkward moments. Whilst you're at it, get yourself a drinks bottle.

It's all about making your life as easy as possible. Before you know it, it will be second nature.

got some simple dinners lined up so hopefully shouldn't be too bad on that front. I use ocado as much as possible so going to avoid shops with both DCs as much as I can

Have to admit my main priority is trying to work out how to get maximum sleep at night and trying to work out the baby's sleep/wake patterns. Trying to remember when it all settled down a bit - probably after 3 months or so...?

Baby liked the swing seat yesterday but got really pissed off when I put him in it today!

I am the owner of a toddler and a limpet new born. I have been using my baby Bjorn lots. It is really easy to get the baby in and out of quickly. I found the wrap slings tricky.
In the first few weeks, bought extra childcare for the toddler. more TV than I think is generally healthy, we have games whilst I am feeding (she sits on me and we pretend we are a tractor). She also likes being helpful, so she has jobs like fetching me a clean muslin or nappy. I also got really organised with toys. I can lift out boxes with activities ready to go.

Going out, short trips, sling and no buggy, just v strict with toddler.
Longer trips pram and buggy board. All trips are focused on the needs of the toddler, so park, soft play etc. Find some friendly groups. I found the one, was greeted at the door, toddler taken off my hands, baby passed around and was presented with a lovely cuppa.

I am now also trying to sort out the limpet sleeping. I use the techniques in the Baby Whisperer to help settle her in her crib. Day one today, took nearly 30 mins of settling and some tears but baby slept for 1.5 hours in their crib. I ate dinner with both hands!

Sling definitely, do some batch cooking when you do have help around, and for going out, baby in buggy and hold toddler's hand? That's how I do creche drop off/pick up for ds1 who is 3 in a few weeks. I did a couple of trips out with ds1 in buggy and ds2 in sling but it just didn't work because we have very uneven paths and pushing 3 stone of him in the buggy hurt my arm.

When the baby is asleep throw on a cartoon for the older one and get 30ish mins to do a few bits.