How do you stay patient?

[Tortycat]

I used to be really patient, and i am temperamentally a very placid person. But recently I feel permanently like I'm about to lose it. Not in an awful way, but in an irritable, shouty mum way. Dc are 3.5 and 1.5, and generally very easy. However they are kids and sometimes its so relentless i just snap at them. Today dc1 emptied a basket of clean folded washing all over the landing pretending it was seaweed - in the past i would have found it annoying but endearing, but today i told him off. Dc2 whacked me round the head with a book and it hurt. In the past i would have gently reprimanded him, today i snapped and briefly shouted. It really doesn't help that dm has dementia and is leaning on me more, which us also very sapping. Dp is away all weekend so feels relentless.

How do you keep your patience when pushed? Its helped today to sing what i feel eg 'stop that awful noise' or 'go the fuck to sleep ' to the ee i addio tune!. Any other top tips to help me keep my sanity and not be a shit mum??

No tips really just wanted to say your not a ‘shit’ mum your just a normal Mum having a hard time, don’t beat yourself up. Maybe try and go out somewhere fun tomorrow to cheer yourself and the children up, getting out of the house always feels better.

You are not a shot Mum at all. Hace you got anything nice planned today? Is there a friend that you can meet up with or any family.

It must be hard with your DM. Are you getting any support?

Thanks. We did have a friends party today but dc1 has been sick and taken himself back to bed. Dc2 driving me insane and now we're stuck in! Think i need to admit i need a break and try and get some time to myself. Its hard as i used to absolutely love looking after dc1 but it just seems like a struggle now. Think i will try night weaning next weekend (and let dp shoulder it) as i have to get some more sleep. 18 months of broken nights is taking its toll. Also need to look into a carer for dm as something has to give. Vowed to be less snappy today but not looking great so far!!

I wouldn’t be patient with either of those events. I would be cross and shout and probably swear. Not at them but I don’t but into the myth of the endlessly joyful mummy. Obviously the 1.5 yo didn’t mean to hurt you but you are a flesh and blood human and it’s normal to react. It doesn’t do loved children any harm to know that mummy is fed up.

Night Weaning sounds like a good idea. Hace you looked st Dr Jay Gordon’s method? It might help

Is there any local support for you in regards to your DM?

It is important to teach kids that you won’t be always wonderful to them. It gets worse as they get older and need to know the boundaries and what is not acceptable. Otherwise you’re doing them no favours. Don’t worry about the occasional angry moment