Please tell me I am normal

[marriotmum]

11pm!! The first time in the day i get to either put my feet up or lie horizontally without a move - basically relax.

Before that it's -
Getting up 6:30
Coffee ( mediating time alone for a glorious 20min)
preparing breakfast for kids
Shower
Get dressed, makeup (minimal) etc
Run out the door 8:30
WORK TILL 5:30.. ish (5 days a week)
Commute back home - 1hr
Get home, jump straight in the kitchen
Make dinner, eat dinner with family, clean after dinner - seams to take ages..
3 times a week pick up DD from training at 8pm
Kids in the background dragging their feet, chatting, computers, chase them to bed
Hubi helps around, making kids and rooms ready for bed
Some eve shower the kids
Kids finally in bed 8:30-9is (depends which one)
Still cleaning after dinner and wrapping up
Meanwhile, upstairs hanging washing, taking washing down, folding, distributing etc
Couple of bits and bobs and it's nearly 11!
I did not sit down or watched TV or chatted with a friend on the phone or read a book or anything recreational
10:45ish I am climbing to my bedroom, pjs on, brush teeth, finally getting horizontal time in a quiet house! But eyes starting to shut..
On my phone a bit (like right now) and I'm asleep. Finally!
So is this sustainable??? I am worried I will go mad and will not make this pace for much longer. I am now starting to feel sorry for myself as my life seems so hectic with no so little fun. It's just one long chore day after day after day after day..
Hubi helps a lot but we are both stretched beyond believe
We always in search for a nanny, only need her for 3 afternoons a week to help around and help with dinner and stuff but as there are too little hrs involved they tent to change when they realise they need more money! It is not an easy window to fill so we struggle with having a good trustworthy help.
Please tell me I am normal!

Sounds completely normal! This is one of my normal days -

Dp gets up for work and leaves at 7. I get up at 6.45, kids up at 7.15, do breakfast, lunches, get dressed, leave the house at 8.
Dp gets the kids and feeds them (5.30). I get home at 6.20, feed myself, help do homework or ferry to Brownies/cubs. Do the washing shuffle (off airer, on top of hot water tank, in ironing basket, new washing...), I don't tend to do any housework apart from empty/load the dishwasher and keep on top of the dish washer.
I take the kids up for their washes at 7.30, then come down with them and they chill/sometimes have a snack, then they go to bed at 8.-8.15.

I then go to to the gym, go Asda, come home, empty washing machine onto the airer, have a shower and go to bed. Where I can't sleep as I've not relaxed all evening.

I don't know if it's normal, but it's probably sustainable, especially if you're in bed already.
I normally get up between 6 and 7 with whichever child wakes up first, spend all day with the two of them (home educating 6 year old and chasing 2 year old). They go to bed between 7 and 8, then I work until around midnight, or later if I have a deadline, then go to bed myself.

It's not ideal and I would like a little more downtime, but I'm not dead yet! I think you just need to grab little moments whenever you can - call a friend while you are hanging out laundry, listen to the radio or an interesting podcast while you are cooking/cleaning up or in the car.

Yes,
But could your kids do more to help round the house?
Not loads but a nightveach where they help?

Also can you/OH put a wash on when you get up and hang it out before you leave?
Just a little bit less to be done later in the day.

Re picking up DD, is there another parent who can do drop off one day and you drop their child off another?
Or your DP do it?

Is DP moving/doing stuff constantly like you or have tv/tea breaks?

I can't quite think that making tea, tidying up and doing laundry is enough to keep both of you fully occupied for 4+ hours.
I know kids are getting ready for bed too, but still...

Yes between my DP and I we manage picking up from gym in 3 eve a week. A different mother does the pick up from school to go to gym, also 3 days a week - thank goodness!!! (we do pay her a few £ for the bother)

And yes, occasionally we get a bit more flex time in the eve so sneak a bit of TV, reading with kids, homework etc but it never feels like proper quality time or long enough to unwind It just feels like everyone is constantly on their fit at non-stop mode...

DD too young to help (in my mind) with washing or dishes, DS unfortunately 13 and struggle with ADHD so not good at keeping on his tasks..

I do get some some comfort in the fact that I am not alone and others have the same gig. I always feel I do something wrong or trying too hard or too much, always being hard on my self with regards to cooking as I like us all to eat decent meals, freshly cooked every day, but can't get over the fact I am constantly exhausted in my middle age and get almost no time for myself
Sigh :(

I can't quite think that making tea, tidying up and doing laundry is enough to keep both of you fully occupied for 4+ hours.
I know kids are getting ready for bed too, but still...

This was my first thought too.

Your day sounds pretty similar to mine, but actually I don't do much more than half an hour or so after mine's in bed - and yes, I have one child (who I think is maybe younger than yours, or at least towards the younger end of the range), but I'm also a single parent.

For comparison, my day is like this:

6.30ish wake up with DS
10 mins exercise DVD, coffee, get dressed, chivvy DS into getting dressed, sort breakfast, make packed lunch, wash up, do 10 mins homework with DS
Rush out the door at 8.30 (school run then straight on to work)
Work til 5
Rush-commute (1hr) to collect DS from childminder, ~30 mins to get home
Eat, chat, bath, bed. Mostly DS is asleep by 8/8.30.
Quick tidy up, hang up laundry. Sometimes catch up on some work (can be up to about 3 hours but usually less).
Bath, bed. Ideally I'd like to be in bed by 10.30 latest but sometimes that happens, sometimes it doesn't.

Sometimes it feels sustainable, sometimes it doesn't. I am going on maternity leave after another week and can't bloody wait - this thought has kept me going for quite a long time! So while yes Obviously I've been more tired because I'm pregnant, I haven't been staring at unrelenting years of this for quite a while now iyswim. I'm not sure what can give, because I can't afford to work part time, but I would really want more time for myself than life currently permits.

How old is dd?

My dc are 10 and 6. They empty the dishwasher every morning, often get their own breakfast and all dishes get put in dishwasher so there's little kitchen tidying to do.

We do washing at weekends and one night in the week.

Spend one morning a week doing cleaning- all hands on deck.

What about weekends?