Am I holding him back?

[mistermagpie]

DS1 is 2.5, I have lots of friends with children the same age. He is the only one who hasn't been toilet trained, still has a dummy (just in bed at night) and still sleeps in a cot. Most of my friends kids have done at least one of these things, if not all.

He isn't ready to toilet train, I've tried and he won't have it. So I'm waiting a bit longer. The dummy - I'm a bit meh about it, he only ever had it in bed and it doesn't even come out of the cot. So it doesn't really bother me and I have no plan particularly to get rid of it. The cot - he's happy in it, sleeps really well and so I've never felt the need to change it. He has never mentioned a 'big boy bed' or anything, ever.

But should I be trying to push him more? I'm not sure I can see the point. Is there one? I'm fairly confident he's not going to be in nappies and a cot at high school or anything, but I'm beginning to worry that I'm neglecting his development or something.

If it's relevant I also have a 10 month old son, and since he was born I suppose I've been a bit 'if it ain't broke...', but now I worry I've taken my eye off the ball with DS1.

The main reason to change to a bed from a cot is if they could potentially climb out over the bars in the middle of the night and fall head-first onto the floor. The others...meh.

Yeah I am conscious of that but he is a bit physically behind for his age so can't climb out yet. Plus he loves his sleeping bags which would make it more difficult!

Sounds like he’s happy, and you’d be happy if you weren’t worried about everyone else. So relax!

The only thing is that if he’s going to pre school at 3 they will want him to be toilet trained - but tbh it doesn’t take very long to toilet train if your kid is ready. So I’d not worry until he shows the signs that he is ready. Otherwise it’s just traumatic for both of you.

My 3y 1m old still has the sides on his cot, no plans to remove them at the minute as he’s perfectly happy in there. My older son was 3y9m when we finally changed him to a bed. He’s not toilet trained either, he point blank refuses and is very stubborn so am leaving it for a little while.
I wouldn’t worry, why change things for the sake of them if they’re working and he’s happy

He's at nursery two mornings a week just now and they aren't putting any pressure on, in fact toilet training has never been mentioned. We are in Scotland so he won't go to school until he's five thankfully! I mean, he'll not be in nappies by then surely?!

My son is almost 2.2 and still sleeps in his cot, has his dummy at night and isn’t toilet trained. I don’t plan to address any of them by the time he’s 2.5.

Dc4 is 2.5, he still has his dummy at night in his cot & isn't yet toilet trained. He's actually coming out of his cot this week as we've just bought a set of bunk beds for that room. I'm not worrying about the dummy huge amounts as I've noticed he now holds in his hamd more than he puts it in his mouth at night. I don't think it'll be long 'til he toilet trains but like your ds he isn't ready yet & I'm not forcing the issue. Of my older 3, dc1 trained withing 2 weeks of her 3rd birthday in the day & at 3.5 overnight, dc2 was 4 in the day & 5 at night, dc3 was 2 in the day & 3 overnight by leaving it until they were ready it happemed very quickly & with minimal accidents. In other words you're doing just fine!

Excuse the typos, I did try & proof read but the baby is flailing his arm over my phone

Definitely do what works for you.

Just leave him until he’s ready. My 2.5 year old is in bed but still sleeps in a travel cot at my mums. He has a dummy at night but my eldest didn’t give his up until 3.5 so I’m not fussed. He’s not potty trained yet but I will be starting ASAP as I’m due my 3rd soon and don’t fancy 2 in nappies.

Do what makes you happy.

2.5 yrs is young still for toilet training.

Bedtime dummy is no big deal. My 5 yr old constantly has his thumb stuck in his mouth, all day long. I wish I could take that away.

As for the cot, I would wait till he's showing signs of being ready to move. When he's able to get up in his sleeping bag and attempt to climb out then it's time to move him. Or if he's starting to wake himself up by bashing into the bars or whatever.

And stop comparing! Your friends are probably exaggerating anyway.