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Original poster

How on earth do other parents get things done in the shops?

47 replies

Pansy0926 · 13/02/2018 19:19

My son is 2.5 and I am 6 months pregnant. As a non-driving family with a lot of distance to cover getting to work, nursery etc, we have relied heavily on our stroller. We have a nice all terrain buggy which folds small and is easy to move with one hand and carries a decent amount of shopping (Baby Jogger City Mini GT, if your interested - highly recommend), so it’s used all the time. Now that DS2 is on the way though, we have been trialling walking everywhere with DS1. What a nightmare!

If he is in a good mood it’s fine. Neutral moods always descent into bad moods though.

He ran away a lot, so we got toddler reins, which he hates and if he is in a bad mood he will twist away, tug at them, refuse to move...but without them he has been known to let go of my hand, run out of sight or into dangerous situations.

In shops, he tends to try picking everything up and it takes ages to get him to put the things back where he got them, and the last thing I need is to have to pay for something if he starts eating it (not done this yet btw, but I anticipate it happening).

You know how you get your shopping bag ready and dig out your change or debit card in queues? Yeah, not happening, because he is doing all of the above (and so requiring both my hands to keep him out of trouble) as well as talking to strangers and drawing attention.

And let’s not mention that he is new to potty training and will not tell me when he needs to go so I have to guess and make sure we delay things by 10 minutes every now and again to go potty. We can’t take a carry along potty anymore without the pram, as I am already weighed down with bags of shopping, snacks, spare clothes and baby bump.

Am I trying to do too much here? Or does it get easier? I know I could get a double buggy (for him) or sling (for baby) but he is a big boy and is beginning to look too big for his stroller so I really would like to have him walk nicely with me - I see so many other toddlers managing it, why not mine?

Oh, and in case it matters, it takes us half an hour to walk with him to nursery and he is perfectly capable but in a mood he is prone to sitting down, sometimes in puddles. My back hurts too much to start a habit of carrying him so I tend to give up and take the stroller. Today we went out to the shops for 45 minutes and managed ok, but with a lot of stress on my part despite his good mood due to some of the above situations.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

soundsystem · 14/02/2018 09:05

Another vote for buggy board and sling combo (if big one gets tired/needs to be contained, put baby in sling and let him climb into the buggy).

We bought a double but never used it, as DC1 suddenly got better at walking between its purchase and the arrival of DC2. (2y 2m between them).

YY to online shopping as well!

megletthesecond · 14/02/2018 09:09

Double buggy. Then you'll also have space in the basket and in the hood to store and carry stuff. It'll free up you hands.

DancesWithOtters · 14/02/2018 09:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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2 year olds 2nd trimester Families General parenting

CoffeeOrSleep · 14/02/2018 09:22

I don't understand the desire to take your dc everywhere with you - shopping is not fun, so no wonder they are bored and mess about!

At 2.5, surely dc1 will be at pre-school soon, so if you must go to the shops, do that when they are at pre-school. Get your big shop delivered, meal plan so you don't have to pop to the shops regularly.

Basically, once you don't have a child who can be contained in a buggy, accept you can't structure your life as you did before.

dantdmistedious · 14/02/2018 12:52

Don't take them shopping would be the obvious answer!!

MerryMarigold · 14/02/2018 13:06

Keep the buggy. Do majority of shopping online. Don't make life harder right now. I'd ditch the buggy in a year.

nancyclancy123 · 14/02/2018 15:54

Get a big double all terrain pushchair (absolute god send when I had twins). Definitely do as much online shopping as you can, I only take my dd shopping for little bits and pieces, you can keep it more fun this way and prevents stress.
Ditch the potty training for a bit if you feel he's not quite ready or wait until the weathers a bit better then pop a little portable potty in your pushchair basket.

But definitely get a twin pushchair, it will make your life so much easier!

katand2kits · 14/02/2018 16:01

Don't go shopping for anything more than a small basket shop. Get everything delivered. This has saved my sanity. Don't expect your eldest to be ready to not sit in a buggy just because the second child is born, then two things aren't related. If he can't tell you when he needs a wee, he probably needs a pull up on if you have to go shopping. But basically, don't go shopping with two year olds!

Gekkoforprimeminister · 14/02/2018 16:22

Keep the pushchair for now and encourage him to get out and walk for as much as he can. When the baby's born get a double, buggy board or carry the newborn in a sling. Also do your shopping online. Don't stress yourself out unnecessarily.

ImAPeppermintNightmare · 14/02/2018 16:25

Yeah, it's absolutely shit. I try to avoid shopping with young kids as much as possible because it sucks so badly. Order everything possible online, get a supermarket delivery, shop if you ever get time alone, or make brief and targeted dashes for essentials. I agree with the poster who said basically don't go shopping with 2 year olds!

itsalldyingout · 14/02/2018 16:35

What Clarrylove says.

We all know what toddlers can be like. Either send your partner or leave kids at home.

Doing this preserved my patience and sanity.

Katescurios · 14/02/2018 16:41

What works for us (most not all the time) is:

make sure DD is fed and not tired before heading to the shops
make a list for DD with some pictures of stuff you need (and can draw)
tell DD clearly that she needs to find the items on her list, that is her job, she needs to walk nicely so she doesn't miss anything important on the list.

Be efficient in the store, go in with a list knowing what we need to make sure the whole experience is done as quickly as possible, hopefully before she gets fed up.

We've been doing it like that since DD WS about 2 and a half, its not fool proof but it does usually make for a bearable shopping trip.

gillybeanz · 14/02/2018 16:49

Buggy board and reigns I'd say.
Then teach him how you want him to behave in shops and not to touch.
Let him lose the reigns when his behaviour is acceptable.

I'm not saying your child is badly behaved btw, they all have to learn and he's sttill little.

user1499786242 · 14/02/2018 16:57

I avoid shopping at ALL costs! 😂😂
Food shopping is done online
And everything else is online aswell!
I do miss having a mooch around the shops but the stress of taking my toddler with me just isn't worth it!!!!
Sorry not much help but could you think about doing more online stuff to avoid the stress of a shop?

clarehhh · 14/02/2018 18:28

Just get a cheap second hand double buggy and use for 6 months.Otherwise life will be an absolute nightmare and you will never get anywhere.If you don't he will feel pushed out and misbehave more.Your nursery trip will be dire when he is tired otherwise.

Jamhandprints · 14/02/2018 20:31

I did this with DS1 and by the time DS2 came along he was good at walking. BUT if I went back in time I would definitely get a double buggy. It's just too much to think about with a newborn and DS1 could only walk a certain distance so we just ended up not leaving the house much because it wasn't worth the hassle. And DS2 is still a terrible walker aged 4, and will often lie down and refuse to move. All children are different but don't make your life more difficult, get a double. X

MacaroniPenguin · 14/02/2018 20:48

Get a double. Unfashionable with people who drive but if you have to do serious walking just put him in the buggy.

When we had a school run to do, my youngest was in the buggy until he started school. Sometimes when you're walking 4 miles a day you just need to buggy it, to avoid wasting hours of your and his life fighting about walking when you could be doing something more interesting. The only people who judged (and some did, when he was 4) were driving their DC to school. There is no moral superiority to going buggy free, especially when people are ending up driving more as a result.

purpleme12 · 14/02/2018 21:40

Thank you macaroni. I do think it has a lot to do with which people drive/do more walking and I don't think people think about that for some reason

Fiendarina · 15/02/2018 10:17

Gap of just under 2 years with my two, and no car, so sympathise.

Don't worry about how other people's toddlers behave, or if other people think your DS is too big for his buggy. Whatever works for you.

If he's struggling with walking now - go back to the buggy for at least part of the time. Shops are a pain? Order online.

Personally, we got a double buggy, which was a huge help when my eldest was tired or it was safer to be strapped in. Sometimes I even hit parental nirvana when they both fell asleep in the buggy at the same time! Bit later, when my youngest could sit up, we started using a buggy board on a single pushchair.

No way could I have coped with long days, long journeys and tired children without a double buggy. Drivers may be able to avoid a double buggy, but if you're reliant on walking and public transport it makes a massive difference. Good luck!

Rach000 · 15/02/2018 10:39

Think you are expecting too much. That is a lot of walking for his age. My nearly 3 year old wouldn't be able to just walk somewhere for half an hour. If we are on a day put shopping and starting she can.
Think it would be dangerous to have a new born in the pram and toddler walking by the side. You need a double or buggy board and sling. That's what I have got but have a car as well so didn't need a double pram really.
Also pull ups when you are out might be better. My daughter never had accidents when we were out as she was ready and told us when she needed to go. Also used pull ups till we were confident she knew what to do.

Wisteria1979 · 15/02/2018 19:29

Id go double. Does your older one still nap? Then it could be worth it for long days out not just the shops. Sometimes you just need to go places quickly and whilst it it manageable without, it's just easier to be able to strap the two of them in.

Enwi · 15/02/2018 19:35

Honestly it doesn’t sound like he’s ready to be walking everywhere yet, or ready to be potty training. I’m also 6 months pregnant so i totally understand wanting to get things out the way before baby arrives, but your just going to give yourself a massive headache if he isn’t actual ready.
I have the city jogger double and love it. If you wait until your DS is TRULY ready for potty training, it will be almost stress free and be over in a couple of days, even if you do happen to have a newborn.

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