Councelling for 8 year old

[lifesteeth]

I have been offered councelling through the school for my 8 year old son.

briefly = he has being bullied from the day he started nursery, doesnt seem able to make lasting friendships, gets upset very quickly and they think he needs help building up his confidence and "developing" his personality before he starts secondry school or he will "have a life of hell" (youth worker's words).

The councelling will be confidential so I won't even know what is said in these sessions.

Do you think we should go for it? I'm so scared he is going to be beaten up at secondry school I feel like giving up my career and home-schooling him.

surely anything that will help him build self-esteem and eventually enable him to forge friendships is beneficial?

Don't worry about the counselling being confidential-if the counsellor believed him to be in danger from what he was saying, she will act upon it.

Self esteem building is very important and will help his transistion into secondary school,and hopefully through his life.

Hope it goes ok for you.sounds good to me

Very insensitive words from the youth worker under these circumstances.

I would accept the counselling if I were you. I think the fact that it's confidential (even from you) is good. He sounds like quite a sensitive boy and he might benefit from being able to say things that he feels could worry or upset you if you knew.

Very good luck to you and DS.

I would. He prob knows you're worried about him, which may make it hard for him to say some things to you, and an uninvolved neutral listener can be good for anyone.

He hasn't got mumsnet!

My 10 year old has been seeing a councellor (in the guise of homoeopathy, but she's a councellor as well) and it's been good for him.

Best wishes to you both

the counselling can only help? fwiw he is sitll only 8 and has a lot more growing up to do before he reaches secondary school. Anything that you can do to build his self esteem will help also. Have you tried having some kids from his class round after school? Any classes he could join to give him more confidence out of school ?

I would let him give the counselling a try.
And I would also insist the school put some proper measures in place to support your son from a social aspect eg: helping him to join in at playtimes etc.
It's not acceptable that they pass the buck on this issue, IMO.
(My son was badly bullied too, and I gave up my career to home educate our children. It's the best decision I have ever made. )

Has your ds seen the educational psychologist at school? Have they mentioned a "Circle of Friends" approach. I'm not sure of all the details, but it involves working with the particular child, and a group of other children who work together on self-esteem and peer support.