Is it normal to find things so hard?

[Chosenbyyou]

Hi

I feel like I'm just finding things really hard and struggle to enjoy parenting at all at the mo. I think what is bothering me is that 'on paper' I should be fine and am lucky to have what I have?

I have a 3yo and a 10mo. I work four days a week and once I have struggled to get there I enjoy my work.

I struggle on my three days - I'm normally on my own as DH works shifts as a doctor. He has them one as a week on his own and finds it hard.

They are not badly behaved just constant all day. The 10mo doesnt sleep well at the mo - mixture of teething and cold which has been going on for exactly two months (2 teeth). He is grumpy in the day and I am struggling to get him to nap - two 30 min naps since up at 5.30. He is normally better or has been.

We go out everyday and meet people.

I go to bed every night between 8 and 9 and have lost all social life and interests. I am doing a course which I started pre DC and that is all I do except work, kids, chores and get in and out of my bed all night.

Sorry turned into a moan but I'm not sure how people can enjoy this it just feels a slog to me?

Any advice or just suck it up??! :) xx

How much longer until you can take a break from your course? Is it related to professional development? Could coming to the end of the year or the course be a little glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel to aim at?

Studying is hard! Even harder when you have small people to deal with.

I always take my hat off at work to people who combine studying and small children.

A baby and a toddler/pre-schooler is relentless hard work!

We're in the middle of an easy window - DC are 9 and 7, and it's fab. Honestly - I think these are probably the easiest, worry-free years. However, even then, parenting is still hard work. There is still so much responsibility, and things to think about, plan and do.

It's incredible. Nobody tells you it will be like this. Or if they do, you don't listen - or worse - think they must just be doing it all wrong....!

I think you start to feel better when the youngest gets to about 4. It's hard on you physically, tiring, sleep quality if you get any is shit, they have a stream of colds that you are run down enough to get etc. It's most thankless messy boring bollocks having small kids. I think you just have to trudge through the early years and loads (most) parents don't enjoy a lot of it.

I'd have been a fucking awful SAHP.

I've remarked at work a couple of times that having a child is both the hardest and best thing I've ever done. Childless colleagues look at me like I am bonkers. Until you have experienced it you can't understand how relentless it is. I certainly had no idea before I had my daughter.

i think its the constant responsibility that's wearing - difficult to go out on a whim, need to plan if one parent is away/out etc, worry re illness/development/happiness, difficult to fit in any non-essential hobbies etc. harder still if 1 or more parents have long commute/unusual hours etc (or if you're a single parent). as other have said there are great times, mediocre times and more challenging times - so if you're having a bad week, try to remember "this too shall pass"

I only have one baby, she's 7 months & I'm not back at work yet either & some days are still so hard! So I can imagine your days can be really tough! I'm sure you're rocking it! I read this on a particularly bad day last week & it made me feel better instantly!
The Last Time

From the moment you hold your baby in your arms,
you will never be the same.
You might long for the person you were before,
When you have freedom and time,
And nothing in particular to worry about.
You will know tiredness like you never knew it before,
And days will run into days that are exactly the same,
Full of feedings and burping,
Nappy changes and crying,
Whining and fighting,
Naps or a lack of naps,
It might seem like a never-ending cycle.

But don’t forget …
There is a last time for everything.
There will come a time when you will feed
your baby for the very last time.
They will fall asleep on you after a long day
And it will be the last time you ever hold your sleeping child.

One day you will carry them on your hip then set them down,
And never pick them up that way again.
You will scrub their hair in the bath one night
And from that day on they will want to bathe alone.
They will hold your hand to cross the road,
Then never reach for it again.
They will creep into your room at midnight for cuddles,
And it will be the last night you ever wake to this.

One afternoon you will sing “the wheels on the bus”
and do all the actions,
Then never sing them that song again.
They will kiss you goodbye at the school gate,
The next day they will ask to walk to the gate alone.
You will read a final bedtime story and wipe your last dirty face.
They will run to you with arms raised for the very last time.

The thing is, you won’t even know it’s the last time
Until there are no more times.
And even then, it will take you a while to realize.

So while you are living in these times,
remember there are only so many of them
and when they are gone, you will yearn for just one more day of them.
For one last time.

-Author Unknown-

You're at a really relentless, tough stage, especially with the broken sleep.

4 and 2 is easier.

5 and 3 is a easier still, and actually enjoyable a lot of the time.

I'm not at 6 and 4 yet but it looks fricking awesome. I'm sure it still has its tough times but sooo much easier to deal with those when you're not having broken sleep or needing to wipe bottoms all the time.

I'm in denial about the preteen/teenage years

Two children of that age are exhausting even if they aren't badly behaved.