ds (4) is sad because he doesn't get invited to other peoples' houses

[wannaBeWhateverIWannaBe]

that's what he told me this morning, totally unprompted. there isn't a huge culture of this at preschool really, there are a couple of kids who have others round for lunch, but it certainly isn't the case that all the others get invited and he doesn't iykwim.

I just said to him that not all the mummies can invite children back, as x's mummy works so x goes home with someone else anyway, and y and z's mummies are expecting babies any day so it's tricky for them etc. He seemed fine with this but I'm for him that he feels like this, and scared it will continue.

Ds is very sociable and he does have friends and seems popular, we've had a few kids with mums round for lunch but invites are never recipricated - ever. so course now I'm paranoid that it's because of me - I've never been good at making friends and am scared this will affect ds.

Was going to suggest inviting others back - but then read that you have
How about suggesting that you meet up at the park in the afternoon? Means that there is no need for them to invite you 'back' but ds still gets to play.
Won't be long until he is at school and onto a whole new set of politics.

It's probably not that they don't like you or ds. They're probably just caught up in their world with their pre-exisiting friends.
I would persevere with inviting people to yours. No one could be so thick skinned so as not to eventually return the favour. Surely? [hopeful emoticon]

yes we do generally go to the park after preschool - there's a couple of us that tend to treck down there and then go our separate ways at lunch time, so he does get to play with his friends, I think he just wanted it to go that bit further, as he does see some of his friends get picked up by other mummies or if the mums are going as well the kids talk about going to x house for lunch etc.

I'm having a cooker delivered in a few weeks and thought I could use the opportunity to ask one of the other mums if they would pick up ds and then maybe they will offer to keep him for lunch?

worth a try if you know them well enough to be happy leaving ds with them.
have you invited the park trekers back? (probably have), would agree on persisting, but realise it can be demoralising.

I think after school this improves. After school invites are much more common then.