3 yo and father at loggerheads - any advice?

[BaffledByBabyTights]

My normally mild mannered dh and my 3 yo ds are constantly fighting and I am at a loss as to know how to handle it. dh is one of those people that normally gets what he wants as he is so reasonable and inoffensive and people just tend to do what he asks (if I knew how he did it, I'd bottle it), but our 3 yo of course is pushing the boundaries and constantly confronts him, argues and won't do as he asks. This results in dh losing his temper (a very very rare occurence prior to this)and tonight he shouted so loudly at ds1 that ds 2 came and hid behind me, and dd started to cry in fright. dh is constantly niggling and on ds1's back, to the extent that I heard ds1 say to ds2 (nearly 2) yesterday 'you go and ask daddy, if I do he will say no', which utterly breaks my heart. they used to have such a tight bond. ds1 isn't like this with me, or his teachers, so it isn't a phase he is gonig through with everyone, but I don't know where to go from here.

Sounds to me like your ds is doing this with dh because he reacts. My starting point would be with your dh. Ask him to basically ignore ds until it's too much and then send him for a time out. I speak from experience that if you rise to the bait they will constantly push and push you. I know it's really hard to ignore bad behaviour but make the punishment a consequence of him not listening or doing as he's told. Time out on the naughty step is normally a good one or their room whatever suits your situation. Good luck - I know for a fact it will get better

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