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Parenting

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Original poster

I have a really wingey baby

29 replies

Neonlights91 · 08/02/2018 09:13

I just need a bit of reassurance that this will improve one day!

DD is 15 weeks, and my first. She had health issues when born and we were in hospital for 2 weeks, and these seem to be behind us now. She is bottle fed and has approx 1000mls thickened reflux formula a day (and on ranitidine)- no issues with feeding atm. Poos regularly and not constipated. I think I can see a tooth coming through on her bottom row so I’m giving neurofen and teething gel.

She is just so wingey and needy. I can only really put her down for 5 mins before she starts crying to be picked up. Often she needs constant walking around to be happy. When she is in a good mood, she is a truely delightful social baby... but it doesn’t last long.

In terms of sleep, she self settles in her next to me cot at approx 10pm and sleeps through til 8am... which I am thankful for!! But all naps in the day are an utter struggle- she needs rocking and rocking until she drifts off (usually screaming the whole time in protest) and i have to hold her the whole time as otherwise she wakes up immeadiately. I make sure she had at least 3 naps a day- an hour in the morning, 2 hours in afternoon and an hour-hour and and half in evening. (If im really honest I don’t mind holding her while she sleeps, I love the cuddles and excuse to watch the tv 😶. But the ‘fight’ to get her to sleep is horrible).

Just wondering if there’s something obvious I’m doing wrong. All my friends have babies who sit calmly and happily, never seem to cry, and will just put themselves to sleep in their pram when they need a nap.

I should add that this has been her temperament pretty much since born (I.e. I don’t think the teething has caused it).

Thank you. I love her very very much but my goodness she is hard work 🙈

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

IfYouDontImagineNothingHappens · 08/02/2018 09:14

Do you have a sling? She wants to be close to you. That's totally normal but exhausting for you mentally. Get some fresh air too!

Original poster

Neonlights91 · 08/02/2018 09:19

Thanks, I do have a sling, she pretty much lived in it until she was 2 months old... was hoping she would be out of the ‘fourth trimester’ by now

OP posts:

Original poster

Neonlights91 · 08/02/2018 09:19

And I go out every day, lots of groups and coffees with other mums. But hard when she cries everywhere and downright embarrassing if I have to try and coerce her into napping haha

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Interested in this thread?

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betterbemoreorganised · 08/02/2018 09:21

It will get better as she gets older but it’s impossible to say when. Have you tried putting her in the pram and going for a walk until she falls asleep, then turning round walk back home and if your garden is secure leave her in garden or carefully put the pram in the house. After a while you won’t have to push the pram very far before she nods off.

Namechangeuser · 08/02/2018 09:22

She sounds just like my dd, although mine didn't sleep that well at night.

It's all temporary...soon enough she will be happier to be out down and will most likely learn to tolerate napping solo.

I swore at around 15 weeks I didn't believe for 1 second this was possible, I held DD for all naps and wore her in a sling most of the time...then at around 5 month due to me having a cold and not wanting her to catch it by sleeping on me, I put her down in her cot, out of nowhere she slept for 1hr30!

At 6 months she learnt to sit up, and was infinitely more happy being left to play with a couple of toys. 8 months she crawled...happier again, 11months she was walking...again much more content.

She's still so little right now, patience is key, this too shall pass!

Original poster

Neonlights91 · 08/02/2018 09:43

Thanks for replies.
She cries in the pram quite often and I live in an apartment block and she always wakes up as the elevator ‘dings’ taking us back upstairs.
She even cries in the car, I thought babies were meant to sleep in the car 😂

OP posts:

Chathamhouserules · 08/02/2018 09:49

My dd was just like this. And she was my third baby so it wasn't my inexperience! I don't know what it was. In the end I just carried her in a sling for about 8 months! And she had a dummy which was a lifesaver and gave her much comfort.
Quite a few of my friends said 'oh my baby was like that' (ie children that were same age as my older ones) and tbh I hadn't noticed. My point being is that everyone is too busy to worry about how you get your baby to nap, so don't be embarrassed!
She stopped whinging at about 10 months and has been really happy since!

Chathamhouserules · 08/02/2018 09:50

My dd also screamed non stop in the car! And in the pram. Everywhere!

Chathamhouserules · 08/02/2018 09:51

Find where the ding is in the lift and smash it!

Justanothernap · 08/02/2018 09:53

Mine were both like this, and I now miss the cuddling naps (not the screaming though!) You're definitely not doing anything wrong. It will just get easier over time.

Iliketeaagain · 08/02/2018 09:56

I'm with you all the way - my little whingebag is 16 weeks.

Just as well she sleeps all night. I cannot even go for a wee without getting cried at, and the sling works but sometimes I have to put her down.

My oldest was the same, and it passed when she could sit up by herself, so every day I repeat over and over "this too will pass" and figure I won't get time again where I have to sit on the sofa and watch Netflix having to cuddle a baby..

Upsidedownandinsideout · 08/02/2018 09:59

Dc1 was like this! I was so miserable and felt really isolated because he'd scream through every mums group, baby group, grumpy-baby-massage session I tried. We also ended up on medication etc for reflux but frankly it made little difference.
Unfortunately for us the only thing that really helped was time. Once he could sit he was a lot happier, then he walked early and slept better too with all the exercise.

The silver lining here - he was my easiest toddler, never had 'terrible twos'. Still naturally more of a pessimist than an optimist but very easy. Also, if you get a typical baby next, you'll be AMAZED by how easy it is and how pro you are 😊 Good luck!

Jellybean2017 · 08/02/2018 10:00

Sounds exactly like my DS (6 months) except he is not a good sleeper at night either. Fingers crossed it improves for us both!

Original poster

Neonlights91 · 08/02/2018 10:00

Sorry I’m really drip feeding now... she will very rarely take a dummy. And it drives me insane as on the occasions she will, it calms her right down immeadiately.

OP posts:

Jellybean2017 · 08/02/2018 10:02

DS hates all dummies too. Spent £20 on different types 😶

littlesaucepan · 08/02/2018 10:03

My son was the same but didn't sleep well at night either!
I tried everything to get him to nap but only rocking would help for a long time. Good for you for getting out and about I was to worried to go anywhere at the beginning, he has grown out of it now by 6 months and will nap in his cot and self soothe.
The only advice I have is a dummy has helped but hang in there it will get better just give it time

littlesaucepan · 08/02/2018 10:03

Sorry cross post!

JumpingFrogs · 08/02/2018 10:18

I had 4. None of them could be put down even for a minute. None of them would take dummies. They cried unless I held them. I even had twins that had to be carried round the house constantly. It's very hard, especially when it's your first. Just remember your friends with smiley babies may have one that doesn't sleep. I suspect she'll be better once she's mobile (although then the separation anxiety kicks in!). Mine all got over it and were perfectly happy toddlers and well-adjusted children. And now they are teenagers and I really miss those baby days...

EssentialHummus · 08/02/2018 10:21

It will get better. And nobody else in the world is as sensitive to her crying, so please don't stress about coffee shops etc.

Original poster

Neonlights91 · 08/02/2018 10:37

Thanks everyone for taking the time to reply, helps to know I’m not alone and (hopefully) not doing anything wrong!

Going to get ‘this too shall pass’ tattooed on my forehead

OP posts:

MagicNumbers1234 · 08/02/2018 10:50

Has she been checked for silent reflux? Something elae you could do is try wearing a top during the night and putting it in near her during the day for her naps. She is used to being near you at night so your scent off the clothes will be a comfort to her. My DD has a dummy but will only suck it if it is turned a certain way in her mouth. It looks all the same to me but she definitely thinks it's different.

MagicNumbers1234 · 08/02/2018 10:54

else I forgot to say...you're not doing anything wrong. Every baby is different. It's all trial and error to find what works. "This too shall pass" is my mantra!

calmandbright · 08/02/2018 11:21

My sympathies one of mine was a shit napper and would get really whingey if tired. I put him to sleep on his tummy during the day (I know! I know!). It really worked though. And as he was napping downstairs I could keep a close eye. Once we started doing this everything else got so much better. Worth a try?

TallulahWaitingInTheRain · 08/02/2018 12:37

My happy baby is a whingy preschooler and my whingy baby is a happy toddler. It won't last!

JumpingFrogs · 08/02/2018 18:21

Best parenting advice I EVER received was "whatever issue you're grappling with, just remember it's only a phase and they'll grow out of it" It's served me well for 20 years!

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