Help! Ds wants a console and I know nothing

[colourdilemma]

Ds who is nine, is desperate for some kind of games console because “all his friends” have one. I am not keen, but I am becoming aware that it might be a thing that we agree to.

If we do, I’d love advice from those who have similar aged children with them on how you make it work so that it’s not the only thing they do and doesn’t become a constant battle.

Equally, I’d love to hear your experiences of holding out and not having one, against the flow.

Thanks!!

We have an Xbox one. DS aged 8 and 10 are a bit obsessed by it, however it is up to me whether we use it or not. It is mine not theirs (although I don't really use it). I would put some rules in place about screen time and what games he can play before you dive in. Your DS is probably right that nearly all his friends have one.

I think it might be easier in some ways to have one than not. He does play games on the iPad, so I’m kidding myself if I think screen time isn’t happening.

The specific problem with ds is that he is an absolute nightmare when coming off. This has two effects-one I try not to let him on the iPad at all in the week (and he goes to his friend’s house where there’s an Xbox but also the person telling him to stop is not me. This is ridiculous-I want him to want to be at home with his mates). Then, once he’s on, I procrastinate about telling him to get off it.

I am not being particularly strong about it. I have this unrealistic picture that with no screen time, he’ll go off and create his own fun. Which I guess he would, but not when most of his friends have consoles.

I think I might have to jump in, and be firm about boundaries. Does anyone allow their children only to play when a friend comes round? That was one idea I had.

And there are good things about consoles, right?

My sons talk to their friends using the headset on xbox one. They are only allowed to accept invites from people they know in real life, and I can hear them talking. So far it has been very positive and feels more sociable than playing alone. You need to pay about £5 a month for Xbox live though.

I also like to think it's good for DS1 to practice his fine motor skills.

If he plans to talk to his friends it is best to get the same type of console as them. Find out which one they are using.

At 9 I think he’s old enough for you to discuss your concerns with him about stopping playing when he needs to without making a fuss and you could come up with some rules together before you get it.

You could for example ask him to show you that he can come off the iPad when you ask him too (do give a five minute warning though) - if he doesn’t manage that then he’s not ready for a console.

If you do get one I think no playing on weekdays unless he has friends over is a reasonable rule.

Maybe there are some games you can play together as well. We don’t have a console but we have some family friends who play rock band together on the PS4. It’s very fun.