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Purls Of Wisdom...when life slows down and you get a moment alone inside your head ❤

3 replies

MalteserChick · 02/02/2018 11:09

I was sat pondering while knitting and watching pointless...this is one of the rare occasions that I get about 10 minutes to myself, with the littlest asleep and the biggest watching a film in the other room, it won't be long before he runs in and wakes the little one up or the little one gets hungry...so how is it that...I took to being a mum of 1 so well, obviously it had it's ups and downs, but it made me extremely naive to what life with 2 children (both under the age of 2) would be like. I've never been tested so hard in my life. I get these moments, when they're both asleep or were walking round a shop and they're both being good and I think to myself, 'your doing it, your winning at parenting' and it never lasts long.

How life with 2 begun...From a retained placenta for 12 weeks, to mastitis, to a severe allergic reaction to the antibiotics given to rid me of mastitis. I've also somehow become an insomniac (the newborn baby sleeps like an angel and then there is me, staring at the ceiling, wishing to go to sleep). I've suffered headache after headache since the birth so many in fact that it feels like I've had a permanent headache for 4 months.
All while trying to fit my new born into my old lifestyle and attempting to take my (almost) 2 year old to all his classes with a newborn in tow. Getting out the house with 2 children in itself is hard enough, doing stuff with said children is almost impossible. I have the utmost respect for women with 3, 4 or more children, I don't know how you do it, how is it I'm finding life with 2 so hard when so many women out there have bested me with more children, are these women secretly wishing they stopped at 2? are they on some forum somewhere ranting like me about how hard life has become?

My 1st child turned 2 last month, and my 2nd child is close to 4 months now. I'm still not sleeping well, I went to the doctors who said "do you think you might be depressed?", I said no, because I've been depressed in the past, I know what it's like and it's not that. She told me to be screened for it anyway. So basically she was no help. I have another appointment booked to see a different doctor in 3 weeks time.
I've been drinking chamomile tea before bed to see if that helps, I've also taken up hula-hooping because I heard exerting more energy in the day might help me sleep better, I'm trying to cut down on caffeine (but it's so hard).

I keep telling myself it'll get easier, but everyday that passes I'm wondering if thats true, maybe it doesn't get easier you just adjust to this new hectic way of living?

But with everything that's happened in the last 4 months, I still wouldn't change the fact that I have 2 perfect boys, no matter how hard they can be at times, they are my life. I love them more than I can ever express.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
CorianderSnell · 02/02/2018 14:53

It does get easier! (my two under two are now 5 and 7)

But bloody hell you’ve had a hard time, and you need to look after yourself to be able to cope with this intense stage right now.

Get onto the Dr again about your insomnia and headaches (I’ve only ever had insomnia when pg; could it be hormonal eg if you’ve gone on to a new pill?)

And rope in every bit of help you can.

Go to the classes if you want to, but your child won’t suffer if you prefer to stay in and watch tv

It helps me to remember that not being able to do something right now doesn’t mean I won’t ever do it, but now just might not be the right time for it

Your boys are your life in one way, but your life is also more than your children and the older they get the more you see they need you to have that life outside them.

It is so hard to put yourself first when you are consumed by keeping a tiny dependent being alive and dealing with the whirlwind that is a toddler, but it is also really vital.

Good luck and I hope you’re feeling better soon. Flowers

(also knitting and pointless is an excellent way to spend your mini moments of time to yourself Grin)

isthistoonosy · 02/02/2018 18:26

Are you getting a break at all?

The headache - how much do you drink each day, dehydration (mastisis so assume you are bf?) and lack of sleep is I assume the main cause.
Or are you worried about something?

I've a 16 month gap, my 'tactic' was to get the older to 'help' with everything to do with the younger one - so I held DC1 and he pushed the pram, or if both needed to nap I asked him to teach his sister how to sit nicely in the pram, he taught her how to lay nicely for a nappy change, he fetched her a toy, etc etc.

We also had snacks and drinks out for him all the time so he could be a bit self sufficient if I was bust with the baby. Also we got both kids to sort their own naps from around 18 months, in that I told them to just go to the sofa if they were tired and wait for me to come to them or to help their dolly sleep, they either slept or at least rested, which stopped the moaning.

But probably most importantly I always tried to remember that no one is the perfect parent and that's fine.
:-)

isthistoonosy · 02/02/2018 18:28

Oh any kids are 3 and 4.5 and have never been to a class in their lives and they seem to be doing OK.

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