I was sat pondering while knitting and watching pointless...this is one of the rare occasions that I get about 10 minutes to myself, with the littlest asleep and the biggest watching a film in the other room, it won't be long before he runs in and wakes the little one up or the little one gets hungry...so how is it that...I took to being a mum of 1 so well, obviously it had it's ups and downs, but it made me extremely naive to what life with 2 children (both under the age of 2) would be like. I've never been tested so hard in my life. I get these moments, when they're both asleep or were walking round a shop and they're both being good and I think to myself, 'your doing it, your winning at parenting' and it never lasts long.
How life with 2 begun...From a retained placenta for 12 weeks, to mastitis, to a severe allergic reaction to the antibiotics given to rid me of mastitis. I've also somehow become an insomniac (the newborn baby sleeps like an angel and then there is me, staring at the ceiling, wishing to go to sleep). I've suffered headache after headache since the birth so many in fact that it feels like I've had a permanent headache for 4 months.
All while trying to fit my new born into my old lifestyle and attempting to take my (almost) 2 year old to all his classes with a newborn in tow. Getting out the house with 2 children in itself is hard enough, doing stuff with said children is almost impossible. I have the utmost respect for women with 3, 4 or more children, I don't know how you do it, how is it I'm finding life with 2 so hard when so many women out there have bested me with more children, are these women secretly wishing they stopped at 2? are they on some forum somewhere ranting like me about how hard life has become?
My 1st child turned 2 last month, and my 2nd child is close to 4 months now. I'm still not sleeping well, I went to the doctors who said "do you think you might be depressed?", I said no, because I've been depressed in the past, I know what it's like and it's not that. She told me to be screened for it anyway. So basically she was no help. I have another appointment booked to see a different doctor in 3 weeks time.
I've been drinking chamomile tea before bed to see if that helps, I've also taken up hula-hooping because I heard exerting more energy in the day might help me sleep better, I'm trying to cut down on caffeine (but it's so hard).
I keep telling myself it'll get easier, but everyday that passes I'm wondering if thats true, maybe it doesn't get easier you just adjust to this new hectic way of living?
But with everything that's happened in the last 4 months, I still wouldn't change the fact that I have 2 perfect boys, no matter how hard they can be at times, they are my life. I love them more than I can ever express.