Will Social Services get involved? (historic health issue)

[ScaredParentNeedsAdvice]

Sorry for length. Don't want to drip feed.

DH has mental health difficulties (PTSD) which were very bad about 9 years ago. He would have flashbacks and not know where he was or who I was. Once he was so scared and convinced someone was coming to hurt him he armed himself with a household item (not a knife but something you could hurt someone with). He was holding it to defend himself. He didn't actively threaten anyone. None of his other flashback episodes were dangerous and he hasn't had a flashback in maybe 7 or 8 years. He was discharged from MH services around the same time. He does still have anxiety, depression and nightmares.

We have a DD who is 1. We both work part time and DH is her main carer three days a week.

Before Christmas he was struggling with his depression and the GP suggested an increased antidepressant dose and referred him back to the Psychologist - we assumed for a general review.

Psych appt was yesterday and today DH gets a phone call asking about his "violent" incident and saying they need to make sure DD is "safe". DH panicks and asks whether they are going to take DD and why the questions are being asked. He felt he got no answer and was very scared so warned the lady he was going to hang up, then did so. He called me at work then I called the clinic back on his behalf.

I reassured the lady I understood the importance of safeguarding (I do!) and was happy to cooperate. I clarified no such incidents had occured since the one recorded in his notes and he'd had no flashbacks in many years. She said she was compiling information for the doctor to review and knew the doctor would ask these questions if the information wasn't available. She said that was as far as it was going right now.

I understand exactly why the questions were asked (though having spoken to her can understand why DH didn't understand her and panicked - she wasn't the clearest communicator) but I'm also really scared.

Does anyone know how likely this is to escalate to a SS referral? I would, of course, cooperate fully if that happened but it would be hugely distressing to us and harmful to DH's health so I was hoping someone might know if it's likely. So I can do my best to prepare and support and look after my family.

I deal with safeguarding issues in my line of work. I would assume at this stage they a team outside of social services may share this info with social services to ensure that they have appropriately shared any information which may lead to safeguarding issues. I understand that your husband has not put your child at any risk however mental health teams do often have to share this info as they may not necessarily know of pre or existing child safeguarding issues with your husband. If there is not prior child safeguarding issues social services may do nothing. They may equally give him a call to ensure there isn't anything they can support you all with. Either way if your child isn't at any risk then there is nothing to worry about and the teams involved will likely just want to ensure that you are supported and that your husband gets the help he needs to elevate his symptoms. Hope you are all ok and don't panic! Xx

Thank you for the industry. no he's never been a threat to her. He's a really good and patient Dad. The problem is he's now having panic attacks and is scared to go back to get help for the reason he originally went. He feels the woman accused him of being a threat to DD (rather than asking him for more information) and no longer trusts them. I appreciate the situation and why they need to know these things but from his description agree it sounds like she communicated things to him horribly.

If, at their team meeting, the Mental Health team decide to share this information with SS will they inform us? How long would SS wait before contacting us?

It’s hard to say for definite but there’s a fair possibility that they will. They should inform you if they have; social services always tell professionals that they need to tell families if they are referring and if they want to talk to you social services will contact you within 3-5 days.
Even if social services do contact you it doesn’t sound like there is anything to worry about though; they’ll just want to make sure and will want to know what your plan would be if your husbands mental health deteriorated further.

NC as outing because I share this story a lot in RL.

My DH has some mental health issues and we were incorrectly referred to social services by (of all people!) his boss. It was hugely emotionally traumatic for both of us- I couldn’t believe the depth of feeling it provoked in me.

They did phone us within 5 days, they asked me for permission to contact our child’s nursery, GP etc. They had about a 15 min phone conversation with me and 45 with my husband. After things came back positively from GP/HV/Nursery etc they closed the case with no further action deemed necessary.

So I suppose what I’m trying to say is that emotionally it was horrible but in reality social services were very light tough and didn’t really ‘do’ anything.

Yes they should definitely tell you if they will. It's so hard sometimes as a professional you know the child isn't at risk but have to follow protocol and share info. You can imagine the one time didn't it's be the time that something more was going on under the surface and so we can't risk not doing it.
As I said though try not to worry. So many people have mental health issues and have children who aren't at risk.
Sounds like the woman wasn't a great communicator as you say. It does bring up so many emotions and stress when all your wanted was to get some help. But talking to him about it properly would have avoided that.
Sorry you guys have had this upset. Xx

Social services wont just swoop in and remove your DD, it's often a person's biggest fear with MH problems but it's not the case when other primary carers are in place. They will most likely make sure she's safe and put help in place of needed. Even if your DH had a relapse you are there to look after her

If DH's health deteriorated we could also get help from my retired parents who live locally and we see often. DH often takes her to see them while I'm at work anyway.

Thank you all for the information, particularly the person with the story from experience. If it could all be done by phone that would be ideal. I'm concerned having someone in our home would be triggering for DH in a very serious way.

i guess we have to wait and see. At least they will have to inform us quickly.

I know that often these sorts of threads aren't updated, so in case anyone ever finds and wants to know how things worked out, we phoned the Community Mental Health Team today and they said that they'd discussed the situation at the team meeting and decided that a referral to Social Services wasn't needed. They said that their assessment showed that anxiety/depression was his main issue at the moment, and they saw no indication he was likely to start experiencing flashbacks again, so since it was so long ago, they were happy we could manage the situation.

So that's a big relief. Honestly I'm also a little angry now that it's safe to be - this whole thing could have been avoided if the CPN had asked DH for some medical history at the appointment, instead of phoning up after the fact and presenting it the way she did. She scared me, and I'm not even the one with anxiety problems!

But I don't think she was malicious, and honestly at this point, I'm too relieved and tired to care much beyond that. Gonna focus on getting DH to process and put this behind him so he can focus on getting better.

Thanks to everyone who offered advice and reassurance.

That's great news glad there's nothing to worry about x

Great news OP, onward and upward now!