Ds (3) has bit another child

[GinnyBaker]

I am mortified and at a bit of a loss as to how to handle.

He was expecting a particular treat this afternoon which I have withheld and explained why...not sure how much he's grasped. Would you do anything else or leave it at that??

Also I know the other mum to say hello to, dont have a way to contact her, so will have to wait to see her to apologise. Would it be ok to buy her dd a little present or would this be weird? I feel so sorry for her!

You've withheld the treat and explained why; you may need to reiterate that, but I think it's enough. I would ask him to apologise to the other child - you could say something to the other mum too, but I wouldn’t buy the child a gift; too much I think.
(I remember biting my brother as a child - my mum bit me, hard! I wouldn’t advocate you doing that, but I never bit anybody ever again)

I wouldn’t go over the top, to be honest. A sharp reprimand and a verbal sorry to the child at the time should suffice unless he does it regularly. Lots of little ones bite each other.

Thanks for replies.I'll leave it at that for now & hope he's got the message.

They all bite each other. Just tell him off then move on. Definitely no need to apologise to the mum or buy a gift.

Thanks for the reassurance.....Dont know if it makes any difference, but he bit the little girl on the face...I know a bite if a bite but somehow it seems worse. I dont even know how he managed it?

Should be ' a bite is a bite'

Mother of a biter here. I don't even think I would have withheld the treat, it probably wouldn't really register as a consequence for a child of that age as it was too far removed. Some kids bite. It happens. It sucks when yours is the biter but you repeat "We don't bite, it isn't kind. We don't hurt others etc" ad nauseum and they grow out of it eventually. Obviously if you actually catch them in the act you remove them from the situation.

Mine is 5 and a half now and in year 1, hasn't bitten since he was in reception. I've probably jinxed it now!

Biting is really common at this age. Neither of mine have bitten anyone (that I know of )but they've both been bitten. I wouldn't expect a gift for it, just to know that it's been dealt wiht- which it sounds like it has. Did it happen at pre school/nursery? I think it's harder to deal with these things after the event with such young children.

Mother of a kid who had a chunk taken out of his cheek by a biter here. It happens. Lots of kids go through this phase and I think most parents totally get that this happens. It's not personal, it's not a sign of dodgy future tendencies and I am quite sure that a well intentioned apology will be grateful received.

Yes at nursery. They did tell him off at the time & then told me at pick up.

Giveitfive thanks. I had never heard of biting a cheek before, who knew! Am feeling a bit less mortified.

Don't go over the top, which is the mistake I made with DD. The extra attention - even though it was negative - meant she knew biting caused a bigger reaction than anything else would and I think the biting phase lasted longer because of that.

My son was bitten on the cheek at the same age. No real harm done and they're good friends still age 7. The kids' mother left me a vm before I'd even got him home, she was very sorry which helped us all put it to bed.

Dd2 was bitten last week, i didn't expect an apology, these things happen! If it happens repeatedly it would be another matter and i probably would appreciate it.

Nurseries and child care settings have 'biting policies'. It's so common.

I was once asked at an interview how I would deal with one child biting another.

Console the bitten one, explain to biter that we don't do that "look you hurt him, he's crying" ask biter to say sorry, document incident. Console both sets of parents...Move on. (Hover closer).

I got the job...I dealt with a lot of biting.

Please don't feel bad.

Thank you all.