Grandparent not sticking to what was asked

[MiaD13]

(Long winded post)
Hi there I'm in a bit of a dilemma and need opinions

My mother has always been so helpful with my boy , if I want a night off or a girly night or just a couple of hours to clean out the house she is the first to offer to spend some time with my baby boy.
Now I'm not a parent who is very specific with how to look after my little one - as long as they are being cared for responsibly I trust whoever is watching him to make the right choices as they were and are parents too.
However my only real rule that I absolutely will not falter on is having a drink while watching my baby.
He's only 5.5 months old and I'd like to think anyone watching him would know not to have a drink , I think it goes without saying (I'm not big on drink so this isn't really something I think about)
However my mum often goes out or has a quiet glass in the house.
Anyway a month or two ago she was taking my boy out for a while and I thought she seemed a bit off but I couldn't figure out what it was (later realised she was hungover from night before)
then later on she sent me a picture of my boy as she'd taken him with her to her friends and I could see a glass of prosecco on the table ,
I kicked off and went straight to pick my boy up - my mum had been told before that I was uncomfortable with that and I was really upset. She didn't seem to see the big deal as it was "only one glass" but if I'm honest I think it was more.
So after that I thought she'd seen sense and she seemed remorseful so I let it go.

Now this weekend I was going to catch up with some old friends so my mum offered to take my boy overnight. No problem so off she went and she told me she'd bring him back at 11am next day.
Morning comes and it's 10:30 and I've still not heard from her after sending multiple texts and phone calls. It's 12;30 before I get ahold of her on the phone just as me and my friend were about to jump in the car to investigate.
On the phone my mum was abrupt and seemed annoyed that I was calling and texting so much , I told her I was on my way to get my baby.
When I got there I instantly knew she'd had a drink the night before. She was all over the place saying weird things , angry with me one second and really happy the next. She told me to calm the eff down because "he's safe with her"
I never once insinuated he wasn't I was just concerned because I couldn't get a hold of her ?!
So now that's twice and I didn't want to start an argument with her because I was with my friend.
I've been avoiding her texts because I don't know why to do or say I just feel so annoyed because every other time it's great and it's a huge help but I can't keep letting her take him if she's not going to listen to what I say

I just don't want to start a fight but I don't want to stay quiet either :/
Help please

She'd have had to have a hell of a lot to drink to still be drunk the following morning, and that wouldn't sit ok with me.
Your choice is to find someone else to habe your son.
Do you think she has a problem with alcohol

Is she just having a drink or is she getting hammered?
If it's the latter then she is out of order.

It's hard to tell to be honest because it's been the next day I've seen her
She used to be quite bad for drink when me and my sister were young - I think that's why I don't really drink
But my mum is a very small lady and it really doesn't take a lot for her to be tipsy

I know I'm going to stick to the other grandparents for the time being but I just don't know how to approach the situation , if I should mention it in a text or wait till I see her ?

If ask her outright, if she denies it mention her erratic behaviour

If you think she's seriously drunk while watching him overnight, yes, that's a massive red flag and I would be limiting her opportunities to have him overnight. It's so easy to pass out on a sofa or bed with a small baby if you are drunk and that's not a safe situation to put him in. If it's just a drink, that wouldn't bother me at all personally. I drink while I have my kids. I don't get falling down, incoherently drunk, but I would certainly have a glass of wine or two while caring for my dd alone when she was little. Not at night or before bed as we co-slept, but at lunch or in the afternoon, definitely. I'm an adult and I know how to responsibly handle myself. I wouldn't be worried about another responsible adult having a glass of wine either while watching my kids. But getting fall down pissed would be another thing. It depends on how severe you think her drinking is. It seems weird she'd be going out of her way to drink heavily when she has him, but not obviously at other times that you've noticed. Do you think it's possible she's drinking heavily every day?

Honestly, I think she must have a problem. It's not that hard to not have a drink when you are watching your grandchild. Children aren't safe with alcoholics. Don't trust her.

One or two wines, fine, weaving drunk .... no bloody way - how can she actually function through the night say if the child was sick? No! FWIW my mum was an alcoholic and I'd never let her look after my kids at night, booze for her cane before everything else

I’d stop her having him overnight , you don’t need to have a conversation about it if it will start an argument just stop asking her / telling her that you are going out . A couple of hours during the day should be fine provided she’s not hammered and not driving . I wouldn’t have her taking baby round to all her friends houses though as I can’t see where the benefit is to the baby and she may be tempted to drink .

It sounds as though you are worried based on past experience - do you think she has a drinking problem?

I don't see the problem with a glass of wine but agree, more than this, drinks at friend's houses etc, would make me uncomfortable.

I find it more shocking that you couldn't get hold of her for two hours and that she was an hour and a half late bringing your baby son back. I hate late people, however when someone is looking after your child that is really irresponsible and wouldn't sit well with me.

Hi everyone thanks for your responses

I confronted her and I think I might be over paranoid to be honest but I'll speak to her in person she seemed upset I'd think she'd make the same mistake twice

Defo think the past is creeping me out as I know she's not what she used to be I definitely don't think she has a problem or anything I was just worried she thought my rule was stupid so chose to ignore it and that's what was really nagging at me

Thank again everyone and I'm happy now I've said something