Baby cries and cries - what am I doing wrong?

[pomadas87]

DD is 8 weeks now and after an okay start, the past few weeks have been a real battle and I just don't know what I'm doing wrong as she seems so unhappy.

I'm pretty sure she has reflux - perhaps silent reflux as she doesn't vomit or even spit up excessively? However every single feed is a fight and it seems like we're both left traumatised!! The GP gave us baby Gaviscon but it doesn't seem to be helping.

• She is incredibly fussy at the breast, then the most frantic feeder once latched. She'll then go off and on, panting manically, for about 5 mins max. She'll then break off, go bright red and then the screaming crying starts.
• after feeding she goes all rigid in whatever position I try to hold and comfort her - even tiger in the tree or over my knee
• she hates the swing and bouncer and screams if put in there
• the only way to get her to stop crying is to put her in a sling, she'll scream for about 5 mins then grizzle for another 10 and then drift off to sleep

I just feel like I'm doing something wrong - I can't seem to offer her any comfort and feeding her is such a horrible experience I feel like I'm failing her and she seems so distressed.

What can I do to make her happier? Is there a better way to comfort and hold her when she's crying hysterically?

I can empathise OP, sounds like you are describing my DS2, he screamed and screamed I honestly couldn’t calm him. It is just so wearing I know. You aren’t doing anything wrong at all. We tried everything crainial osteopathic treatment, waste of time and money in our case, Frequent trips to GP, Everything possible. He grew out of it at around 7-8 months. But it was a very challenging time. Particularly as DS1 was an absolute dream baby so it was a total shock when DS2 arrived. And they reason we didn’t have a third, no way could I go through that again! You will get through it have you got someone to help you get some rest?

I used a syringe when he wouldn't take gaviscon from the bottle, but you need to squirt into the corner of their mouth or they can spit it back out

OP The brand I was given was Losec - it's capsules full of tiny "beads". I'd wet my finger, pop them on and swipe them in her mouth just before the breast. Paediatrician advised me that if she became wise to it (she did) to "stick them together" (the beads) with the tiniest amount of pear purée. It sounds odd at 8 weeks (when she started) but it's honestly just the tiniest trace. So much easier than Gaviscon. We increased the dose around 4-5 months when her weight increased and she was off it by 7-8 months, although I'm not sure she needed it much after 6 - we weaned her off gradually.

Thanks so much everyone. I will get another appointment with a different GP.
DH is a great help when he is at home but I don't have much other support as we've no family close by.
I also have a lactaction consultant coming today as I'm concerned I'm not feeding her properly I.e it's a horrible experience even if it does seem she's getting enough milk!!

Won’t help if the problem is gastric but have you tried the white noise app and blowing on her face? If the crying is fourth trimester stuff this seems to work on lots of babies.

Dummy is pretty brilliant for settling ours if he’s gone beyond himself. He’s a big chunky baby so less concerns re misreading feeding cues and dropping weight. If it is reflux the sucking can be soothing

Its hard isnt it. Defo get some syringes for the gaviscon. There have been lots of things coming out about omeprazol so personally i would avoid. Ranitadine could be worth a try though gav was better for us. dD screamed from 5pm til 1am most days at that age. Hang on in there!

Fingers crossed for you OP, sounds very much like when my daughter had silent reflux, started at about 7 weeks old, Gavison sorted it for us but she was FF so it was mixed into her milk

We raised the head end of the cot with a couple of books, that seemed to help with the sleep as the acid can't go up their throat

Lactaction consultant observed me battling feeding her and said I have fast let down which means she gets overwhelmed and screams, so she takes in even more air making the wind worse. She also told me about 'blue lip' to tell if I need to keep going winding her - I never knew that was a thing!

Also going to GP later in week. This is so tough and I hate to see her little face screwed up crying for so long, it must be so sore for her.

Thanks everyone for all the advice

OP - what's 'blue lip'? I have a 5.5 week old silent refluxer - I have ranitidine for him but he still has trapped wind at times. I can try for hours to get it out of him but with no success.

mama it's the area above her mouth, below her nose - sometimes as a bluish grey tinge and she said that's a sign of trapped wind (in an otherwise healthy baby)

I had a fast let-down too and used to break off at the initial let-down. I collected the spray in a muslin or similar then put DD back on when the flow had slowed a little.

Have you tried leaning back when you're feeding to slow down the flow? I also had that issue. It's hard to do when you're out and about obviously but reclining whenever I was at home definitely helped for us.

Yes I am trying to lean back now when feeding - finding a bit tricky but I think it is making a difference!