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Parenting

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Original poster

Were you a Young mum or an older mum....

46 replies

Ihatepompoussoccermums · 26/01/2018 14:35

I was 19 when I had my son and when people ask you most of them are surprised and ask me how I managed etc. I had a job, a bf and a supportive family so we managed just fine. When my DS (10)was in reception I was one of the youngest mums and now my dd is in reception I think I’m one of the oldest. I had her at 24. My mum was 20 when she had me and I am closer with my mum than some of my friends were with their parents who were considerably older. Now before people start getting riled up, I’m not saying this is the case for everyone just in the community I lived in. I feel like I have a really close relationship with my kids and because I’m so laid back and we have a laugh some people think I’m their sister until one of them say mummy.i feel like I can understand them more because it’s closer to my generation of trends and lifestyles. Many I know believe the same. I just wanna see if others have the same perspective.

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missyB1 · 26/01/2018 14:37

I’ve been both! I had my first at 21 and my last at 41! I enjoyed it much more in my 40s I’ve got to say.

Myddognearlyatethedeliveryman · 26/01/2018 14:38

I had a dc in my teens, in my 20's 30' s and 40's!! I have gone from the youngest dm to the oldest! I say a quick hello to a few dps but don't get involved anymore, used to but learned over the years it's not worth the hassle in the long run!

Glassofredandapackofcrisps · 26/01/2018 14:39

You're one of the oldest mums and you only had her a 24?!? I was 36 wish I'd been a bit younger to be honest but only a bit. Early 30s would have been ideal it's very tiring having a toddler at 38

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sourpatchkid · 26/01/2018 14:40

Wow, you're one of the oldest at 24?! My DS is one and at playgroups I'm often one of the youngest. I'm 38!

Original poster

Ihatepompoussoccermums · 26/01/2018 14:42

I’m 30in 2 months and I’ve got like 23 year olds picking up third kids from reception....tbh actually makes me feel old...even though I know 30 is no where near old.

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AmberTopaz · 26/01/2018 14:43

My mum was 32 when she had me, so definitely an older mum for that generation, and we have a very good, close relationship and always have.

I was 31, 33 and 35 for my own DC, which is probably around average these days. I was the youngest in my NCT group, but the school mums seem around my age on average (one of the mums in DS2’s class is 7 years older than me while another is 12 years younger). Like you I’m a laid back mum and very close to my DC

tigercub50 · 26/01/2018 14:44

I adopted in my early 40s (always wanted to be a Mum but met DH in my Mid 30s & sadly it just didn’t happen for us). It’s hard work & DD9 certainly keeps us on our toes! Luckily I have very rarely been mistaken for her DG! I do sometimes worry about getting older but DH & I keep ourselves pretty fit & healthy.

EggsonHeads · 26/01/2018 14:44

I don't think that she has anything to do with how well you get on. My father is flirty years older than I am. We get on like a house on fire. My husband is fifteen years older than me, we also get on with him like a house on fire. I was similar in age to you when I started having children. They are still very young but we seem to get on five although I will admit to getting along with my youngest better.

LizzieSiddal · 26/01/2018 14:45

I was definitely one of the youngest.

I was 24 with DD1 and 28 with DD2.

I do wish I’d had them a bit later but not too much. There is the advantage that at 52 both have gone to uni/left home so Dh and I can really now concentrate on our lives. We have friends who started families in their 40s and I don’t knoe how they do it! I couldn’t go through the teenage years again

Justabadwife · 26/01/2018 14:45

I was 17 when i had dd(8) me and my mum are closer now than we have ever been, we go on holidays together and shopping together.
Me and dd are also very close.

YerAuntFanny · 26/01/2018 14:48

I had my DS at 19 and my DD at 26.

I don't necessarily think it's made much of a difference, I'm probably more laid back now than I was when I was younger.

My Mum had me when she was 17 and we are more like best friends than Mother/Daughter (cliché I know!)now but in my teens I absolutely hated that she thought she fitted in with us because she was young and "knew" how our generation worked. She didn't, a lot changed in those 12 years, it was embarrassing tbh :o

PsychoPumpkin · 26/01/2018 14:49

I was (am?) a young Mum. Had my first at 18, second at 23 and third (also last) at 24. I’ll be 26 in a few days.

When I first started taking my youngest to pre school I felt like a very young mum in comparison to the other parents but i’ve Never felt judged for it and I got on really well with everyone.

Camomila · 26/01/2018 14:53

I am bang on the national average (was 28.4 when DS was born, ave is 28.6)

It feels like all the girls from school are having babies this year...as I see from facebook.

I'm so excited about moving back to my home town this summer :)

Rylanmakesmyheartsmile · 26/01/2018 14:54

I was 23 when I had my first and while I didn't feel at all like a "young mum" (I'd probably put that at 20 or below) I was one of the youngest in the school playground and I was the first of all my friends to have a child. Most of my friends' eldest dc are the same age as my youngest (I had my youngest at 29). In the school playground now I am closer in age to more of the mums of my youngest dc, but still a lot younger than many (a good 5-10 years younger). With my eldest's friends I am by far the youngest mum. DH is 5 years older than me so he is probably more average, but still on the younger side of average.

DenPerry · 26/01/2018 14:57

I'm 32 with littles ones and feel average in my current area, in the last place I lived I felt old as they were all early 20s.. and then I stayed in Brighton for a while and felt really young! All the mums I met were 40s. Just different areas!

maybebabybee · 26/01/2018 15:03

Maybe it depends on where you live/who you socialise with. I am a middle-class university educated woman and I had my first DS at 26. My contemporaries at playgroup etc who are a similar demographic to me are 5 years older than me at the very minimum. Most are 10 years older. I feel like a teenager!!

formerbabe · 26/01/2018 15:05

I was 26 when I had my first. Amongst my social group, I felt like a teen mum. I was the only one with a baby. Amongst other parents though I felt like I didn't fit in with the young mums and didn't fit in with the older ones really...I was stuck in the middle!

elliejjtiny · 26/01/2018 15:08

I had my eldest at 24 and my youngest (dc5) at 32. I was about average age at the school gate with my eldest DC and then with dc2 I was one of the older mums. Now dc4 is in reception I'm a lot older than most of the other mums, by over 10 years with some of them. With dc5 I was the eldest on the antenatal ward by a long stretch, next oldest was 3 years younger and their were 2 ladies who were 15 years older than me.

GiveMyHeadPeaceffs · 26/01/2018 15:14

I was 42 when I had my ds and tbh I think if I'd had him younger I wouldn't have coped as well. At 45 now I'm financially independent with good savings in the bank, my own house and a lot more laid back than I was 20 years ago. My only concern is really trying to keep fit and healthy so I can stick around for him as long as possible

Original poster

Ihatepompoussoccermums · 26/01/2018 15:35

Maybe it is just community’s. I wasn’t the first out of a larger group to have a kid but I was the first in the inner circle. So naturally when I had my son he was like a prince and had many visitors etc. My OH is 4 years older. I’m gonna say I get on better with my DS who is the oldest but more on the basis that I’m a tomboy of sorts and my DD is a really really girly girl. I’m still incredibly close to both though. Both of mine were accidents, failed contraception however when I found out I was pregnant I was excited and so was the OH even more so. I wouldn’t trade them for the world. I wanted to travel a bit before having kids but I guess I can do that when they grow up and fend for themselves 😊 I don’t drink so my travelling would have simply involved visiting haunted places one of my many dreams. I have a good enough relationship with my dad, as good as when you love 175 miles apart and he has 3 younger children so it’s hard for him to visit me as we have no spare space so we only see him when we visit my FIL who lives close by. My kids unfortunately don’t have a close relationship With him but are close with my little brothers and sister. With the oldest being 9 months older than my son and they are into the same things.

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NellWilsonsWhiteHair · 27/01/2018 06:34

I had my first at 24. I'm very middling amongst the school mums but compared with people I work with I'm very young - none of my colleagues close to me in age now (30) have children, and few are even thinking seriously about it yet. It's an odd contrast.

Desmondo2016 · 27/01/2018 07:56

Both! Eldest at 18 and youngest at 40!

whinetime89 · 27/01/2018 08:00

21, 26, 27 for each of mine

Elllicam · 27/01/2018 08:04

I guess it just depends where you live, I was 31 with my first, 33 with my second and 35 with my third. The other mums at groups and classes tend to be similar ages to me. Sometimes I would have liked to have them earlier but I appreciate that I had my twenties to go to uni and establish my career.

Keepingupwiththejonesys · 27/01/2018 08:04

21, 23 & 25 when I had mine. I'm one of the younger ones at school pick up but there's a few younger. At playgroups I was almost always one of the younger ones though now there's quite a few there around the sane age as me but there with their first child

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