Private parts!

[Ploppymoodypants]

Hello all

We are starting to have conversations with DD about private parts and the underpants rule. We have the underpants rule book and she has the NSPCC app on the iPad (the new Pantosaurus dinosaur one).

Anyway she has asked me why some parts of her body are private. Obviously she doesn’t know about sex yet or sexual abuse / preditors etc. I have just been answering that it’s becaue bottoms can be germy and they can make you and/or others unwell if you touch and don’t wash hands etc. However she then asks why we don’t cover mouths and noses as the same rule applies. Can someone give me a sensible suggestion of an age appropriate answer to why bottoms are private but mouth and noses can be on display please. It’s no good saying just because when you get older they are private because she pushes for why, why, why. So I need a way to phrase the truth without saying too much or worrying her. She is 5, and we believe in telling the truth in an age appropriate way. (I.e. she knows babies come out of vaginas and not that that stork delivers them 😁)

No advice I'm afraid, but I have a similarly curious five year old so bumping this for you (& me)!

Because if you cover your nose you won't be able to breathe and if you cover your mouth you won't be able to eat/drink/talk. Mouths and nose aren't as dirty as bottoms anyway.

Personally I wouldn’t say the thing about germs, as I think it may lead to more confusion later on. So I would just keep saying that they are private and we don’t touch each other’s. Make it a bit funny - “you don’t see Granny going around without her pants on do you!” “What if Daddy went outside without his trousers!” etc. You could maybe say it’s like taking food off someone’s plate? That’s their food, not yours. Similarly your bottom belongs to you and no one should touch it without asking you.

Thank you everyone. Will try these strategies next time she asks.
I did try to say it’s because your bottom and Vagina etc are delicate and they are between your legs to protect them and prevent them from getting damaged. Which is kind of true but then she said, what about your mouth and eyes etc. So I said well we have eye lids and lips. She then she obviously pointed out the protection around her bottom and said why wasn’t that good enough.

She will think the idea of grandad going outside without trousers on absolutely hilarious so I might try that. Although then I expect she will ask about the seaside or swimming or something!

Honestly I feel like I am being interrogated by a political journalist sometimes 😁

Oh gosh, kids and their impossible questions

Maybe because girls and boys aren't all the same under their pants whereas eyes mouths etc look basically the same on everyone.

Also, not just germs (which yes, will be on mouths and noses) but wee and poo come from bits and bottoms and are only completely removed with a wash. Plus we only need to get them out for the toilet so stay in pants at other times. Mouths and noses needed all the time!

Yes I agree that you should play up the poo/pee thing and you keep them private in your pants and that's why toilets are private too. I would discourage the similarity of sharing food as kids will most likely share food or swap food if asked. That could get confusing, 'can I have a chip' 'can I touch your xxx' just because someone asks permission doesn't make it ok.