Overprotective dad

[Noodlee]

I dont know what to do or how to feel about this. Our little one is 3 months old. We both dont trust leaving her with my sister and her partner for good reasons...partner has anger issues and shouts at their 18 month old, my sister doesn't strap my nephew in to the highchair, leaves him in the bath by himself etc.

But my partner has gone overboard. We dont like my sister's partner but all live under the same roof, my dads house. (We are trying to move out). And my sister's partner adores our LO and it drives my boyfriend crazy as he feels that my sister's partner acts like her dad. Like we all just went for a walk and my sister was pushing our LO and her partner pushing theirs and they were holding hands. This pisses my boyfriend off as he feels like they act like she is hers and they are a little family. Like if she is asleep in the buggy and she wakes up they will go get her out without saying anything, or if she has her dummy in be like oh you dont need that and takes it out. All these things annoy my partner so much. Like he got really funny about them just pushing her in her buggy up to the park. He was like I'm pushing her up and then they can push her when we get there. And I'm just like why are you so weird about it all!?

(He doesn't work but is looking for a job so its not that he misses out or anything...) what is it??

Your partner is not overprotective he is concerned for his child as you should be. Especially as you have pointed out that your sister and her partner are lacking in parenting skills.
I would not be happy if someone was interefering or taking over the care of my child without asking.
The sooner you move away from your sister and her boyfriend the better.
In the meantime you need to be more supportive of your partner and you should ask your sister or boyfriend to back off.

What posh said. He's acting like a dad, if you all me.

Your partner is being very reasonable.

You need to establish some boundaries with your sister and her boyfriend.

How do I ask them to back off though? They get so funny about things. I wrote this some where else as well as someone said his behaviour is controlling and I dont know if that's true or not.

I would do small acts of asserting yourself- not make a big deal of it but make yourself clear. If youre out for a walk "No its okay thanks, DP wants to push the pram". "No she sleeps better/is more relaxed with her dummy in so we have decided to let her have one" etc etc.

Your partner is not controlling, but it sounds as if your sisters partner is very controlling. What kind of man shouts at an 18 month old child?
You really are not very supportive of your partner.

I don't like anybody interfering with my child. I wouldn't want someone to go running over if she woke up. It's not up to them whether they think your child should have a dummy or not. I'd feel the same was as your partner

I know I need to be more assertive. It's just so hard with those too. I know it annoys me as well that they think they can do whatever with our child. I hate how if she wakes up they would take her for a cuddle without saying anything. Like as soon as she stirs my sister's boyfriend runs over to her and if she falls back asleep is like awh I was hoping she would wake for a cuddle. Drives me bonkers! We dont get a second downstairs with our own child x

Can you move out? Your sister child is not safe and this needs to be passed on her HV or SS.

I've been honest with her and told her the dangers. No we cant afford to