Other people's kids... and their footballs.

[willow2]

I've got to have a moan and get it out of my system. Our garden backs on to a garden owned by a family of football fanatics. I have lost count of the times footballs have whizzed into our garden and smashed up my plants (my favourite alium has been wiped out for the past two years)but must have had almost 100 direct hits. I've gone along with the boys will be boys theory, until last night. Anyway, yesterday evening we were all sitting outside (dh, ds, friends of ours and I) enjoying a glass of wine (not ds, he was having his tea) and we were aware there was a pretty frantic game of football going on. I called out to the boys to be careful as I could see where things were heading. Sure enough, a football ends up flying over the wall, straight on to the garden table sending glasses and plates flying. There was glass everywhere but fortunately nobody was hurt. I grabbed the football and, instead of chucking it back over the wall like I normally do, walked round to our neighbours house and knocked on the door. The mother answered it and I told her that I was terribly sorry to disturb her but that enough was enough. I explained that I had lost count of the number of plants killed - to which she said, "I know, me too" - and that now I had a load of broken wine glasses and glass everywhere. All she said was, "I'm sorry, I know, I'm sorry" - no offer to pay for the broken glasses, no enquiry as to whether anybody had been hurt; essentially the message was "Sorry, I know where you're coming from, I have the same problem with them". I should have pointed out that they are her kids so what they do to her garden is of no concern to me, but what they do to my garden and my belongings is -but I was so gobsmacked I just walked off.

I know it's just one of those things, but I had to vent. If my son had broken a neighbour's things I'd have offered to pay for the damage.

Don't hand the ball back next time.

I'm ashamed to admit that, when ds was tiny and I was at my most neurotic, I got so fed up with being unable to put him out in the garden for a sleep that I horded the balls that came over. Eventually the dad knocked on the door and asked for a ball, that had just arrived, back. I went out into the garden and came back with a black binliner filled with the things.

Could you go halves on a higher fence?

I'g go for a black mesh up and over the back of your fence, not pretty but very functional...
what a nightmare...

or systematically stab every ball with your cheese knives..
I prob would do that, if I had spoken to the parents and they did nothing.

I too am in the same boat, we live on a cul-de-sac, which attracts all the young boys, so I work full-time and drive up to my house, boys and football present. The ball gets kicked against my gates when I close them, when I go out and complain to them to move on, (as they live round the corner) I just get the v sign and these boys are 8-10 years old. So last week DH parked his car right across the road and I parked mine outside our gates, and that worked, but when our neighbours come back off their holidays, we won't be able to block the road off. I am so

Sorry, I too have had the ball in the garden and rather than opening the gates to get the ball, they climb over the god damn wall and into my plants, even DD (aged nearly 4) shouts, play in your own street, she can't play outside the garden whilst they are there, as i'm scared to death that they will push her over,

I used to have this problem with my old neighbours. they used to constantly kick the football up against the living room wall aswell (from outside) and it used to drive me mad. The one day the sone was doing it and I went up into my daughters bedroom and shouted out the window : excuse me, why dont you kick that ball up your own house? if you kick it one more fucking time up mine i will come round and shove it up your arse' (this is very out of charachter for me) Alot of other neighbours heard me and dh thought it was hilarious

needless to say HE NEVER kicked it up my living room wall AGAIN! hehehehe

I trhink the lady should at least offered to pay for glasses and wasted food and wine willow

message withdrawn

I live in a cul-de-sac and the kids across the street used to play a game where they stand on opposite kerbs and throw the ball to the other kerb. One night they kept missing the ball and it kept hitting my front door, there was no fence at that time to keep the ball away from my door. I was ill at the time, dd was in bed and I went out to them a few times and asked them to please stop hitting my front door with the ball. Didn't mind them playing but didn't want them hitting my door. It got to the point where they were letting it hit my door on purpose so I waited in the hall until it hit my door then opened the door and took the ball in.

I gave it back to their dad later on and they didn't ever do it again but someone told me later that if you confiscate a ball they can call the police as it's considered theft. Anybody know if this is actually true? I have no idea if it is true or not. Oh and I'm happy to say they have now moved out of our street and peace prevails.

If they had broken something like your neighbours did I would have expected them to offer to pay and ask if everyone was ok.

Firstly I would like to point out that there is an alleyway between their wall and my fence - so am not prepared to pay to make their wall higher!

Secondly, I do not own any cheese knives Piffleoffagus. Can you suggest alternative weapons?

I am going to lob all the snails I find into their garden from now on.

It's only theft if you have no intention of returning it (strict definition). So in future if you remove something such as a ball, make sure the owner knows that you will return it at a certain point, e.g. when parents are home.

message withdrawn

How about keeping the balls, deflating them with something like a skewer, and then when they ask for them back explaining that you're sorry, but the ball must have popped when it smashed into your thorniest rosebush?
I would be absolutely incensed if I were you, but what you do about it all depends on how much a feud you're prepared to have over it. I might just pop the receipt for your new glassware through the letterbox with a note saying something like "Thank goodness no one was hurt by all the flying glass caused by your boys' football the other day. Fortunately I was able to replace the broken things; here is the bill for your boys - nothing a few weeks' pocket money won't cover, I'm sure!" even if no money is forthcoming, at least they'll get the message.
It really makes my blood boil the way some people take that "Oh I know, boys will be boys, but what can you do?" attitude to their own children't behaviour. I want to shout: They're your kids! Take some responsibility!
Sorry, rant over.

I'd be ranting too. It's a pity getting a higher fence is out of the question.

I think it's best to avoid completely falling out with neighbours - you never know when you'll need help from them. I get the impression that you don't want to start a war with them anyway, just stop those footballs.

I would say you should keep the footballs. It works as a deterrant IME. My oldest son knows some of our neighbours won't return balls, so he and his friends never play near those houses. But I see you have hoarded the balls already and this family haven't taken the hint.

So I think you should try talking to the parents. Ask them if they have any ideas how you can all solve this problem. When you saw the woman and she said sorry but didn't offer to pay, you might have caught her on the hop. Now she has had time to think, she might be more helpful. You could say you have considered getting a higher fence but that's impractical.

If that doesn't go too well, tell them how much it cost you to replace the broken glasses. Don't imply you want them to pay shares, but say the next time something of yours gets broken like that, you will have to send the boys a bill.

malinki - razor wire, electrify it...
gGRRRRR at malcontent rude youths...

Probably she has already said something to their children and the ball is not going to come so often. I know that if you keep the ball they can ring the police for theft but I doubt very much the police allow time for this sort of complaints. I will puncture it and send it back before it deflate with the advice it has fall on the roses. PArents will also control the children better if they need to spend so much money replacing balls.

or be really trendy and ask the cops to slap a no football in the garden of life in prison ASBO on them...
Seriously though. To avoid a proper slanging match and it getting nasty I would say that it is worrying for you as you have a young child in the garden, often you have plates and things or wine glasses, incidents like these can cause serious injuries esp when combined. Mention that if they are unprepared to find a solution, then you look at other ways of sorting the problem out as it is now restricting your lifestyle and recreation.

I agree that it is annoying - when we moved into this house 8 years ago our neighbours boy was just the same - we were always getting balls in the garden (and later his cigarettes hidden in our shrubs). However, now, my ds is now 10 and the tables have turned - neighbours son now gets ds' ball landing on his car roof and he really gets hacked off.
It won't be long before your ds is probably doing the same, meantime it might be worth buying some plastic wine glasses and plates in the sales.

Well thanks for all your suggestions. I have no intention of taking this any further (as they actually live in the next road it is not as if I know them to talk to, only to throw balls back at. Just needed to vent! But will redistribute the footballs to other families I know...

OOOh, makes me too. We have boys and their footballs in our street who use our driveways as part of the street as they are not fenced off or anything, just look like part of the road I guess. Anyway, went wild at some boys who were really taking the mickey, told them to p*ss off and play by their own houses and ended up with their mother banging on my door and ranting and raving at me for using abusive language at her sons. She wouldn't believe they'd called me all the vile, rude names under the sun (they are only about 11) and laughed in my face when I told them to go away.
She then proceeded to tell me I had no right to stop her children playing outside my house as it was public property, and she was going to report me unless I took down my "no parking, private property" sign. After she'd finished telling me I didn't own that land she went home, still ranting down the street. 10 mins later I was knocking at her door with the property plans to my house in my hand, pointing out that actually, I DID own my parking spaces, they were private property and if I caught her kids there again I'd be reporting them! I don't know to who, but it shut her up for a while anyway. Rant over. Sorry that's no help, but it feels good to let it all out once in a while.