At breaking point with 8mo

[mommathatwearspink]

I'm at a total breaking point with my 8mo DS! I love him dearly but he has been high maintenance since he was born and both me and DP are struggling. He was diagnosed with reflux when he was 3 days old which has meant constant puke (all over everyone and everything), constant trips to GP/paediatrician and various different medications. Nothing has seemed to make much difference and we are muddling through hoping that everyone is right when they say he should be fine by the time he's one. He doesn't nap through the day for more than 10 minutes which makes it incredibly difficult for me to spend any time with our three year old DD and she's totally fed up. He doesn't sleep at night and can wake up to 10 times during the night and although goes to bed when tired, he's often awake within an hour so DP and I barely get any time to ourselves. It's causing regular arguments as we are both knackered. He then spends most of the day whining... although toys can keep him occupied for 5 minutes at a time and it's left me wishing my maternity leave away. He is so loved but we are now at complete breaking point and don't know what to do next. I'm so miserable!

God that sounds torturous. poor you guys. realise you love him to bits though but very very hard. so sorry you are going through this. no major advice but maybe speak to the health visitor xxx hope it passes soon. xxx

Hey OP,

Gosh, I remember feeling like this so I went back to work early when DD was only 5months old. WORST decision of my life, so please don’t wish your mat leave away it will leave you in a state of depression when he is lovable and ok and not keeping you awake most of the night.

Annoying as reflux is and I’m sure you have looked at all routes, is he lactose intolerant? He should be sleeping for more then 10 minutes during the day at 8 months, are you going to the park on the swings ? Tiring him out? I didn’t leave the house without my husband for the first 6 months so I understand if you don’t.

I feel for you honey. Best thing might be to stick him in Nursery 2 days a week if possible? To give yourself a bit of a break? Xxx

Massive development leap/sleep regression/separation anxiety peak at 8 months. And on top of that he has reflux.

You need to do whatever enables the most sleep - long walks in the pram/bouncy chair/co-sleeping.

My friend LO is exactly the same, I suggested she invest in a My Hummy in order to get some sleep and spend time with her other kids through the day. She was really sceptical at first so I ended up buying her one for Christmas, they aren’t cheap but wow was it worth the money. I know all babies are different but when you are at breaking point you are willing to try anything. Her baby stirs in the night and 90% of the time goes back off when My Hummy comes on, same with napping in the day wouldn’t nap for more than 10/15 minutes. Now her LO can nap 2-3 hours a day. As for the reflux I can’t comment, her LO also has reflux but still no better even with repeat visits to doctors. I really would recommend trying the My Hummy or something similar we will be getting one with our next baby.

Is he waking because of the reflux? If it's just that he is a bad sleeper I would sleep train..>I did sleep training with my awful sleeper at that age - similar to you he woke within an hour of going to sleep, it was torture.

I didn't leave him to cry, me or my DH sat by the cot patting him while he cried/ rolled about etc - he went back to sleep within 15 minutes we were there the whole time, just didn't pick him up or feed him. Within one night of a couple more wakings he was sleeping for 6 hour stretches - I know it sounds implausable but I couldn't believe we hadn't done it sooner! it was like a miracle, barely any crying to be honest and it made me reailse we had allowed him to lose the ability to go to sleep because we picked him up every time he stirred.

I have not much to add other than sympathy! My 9mo old wakes up at least every two hours and is also rubbish at napping, but yours sounds worse, I feel bad enough! ☹️ Also whingey in the day, I feel like it’s all to do with tiredness though? And though my baby doesn’t have reflux he is very pukey, it just tips you over the edgehaving to clean up sick constantly doesn’t it?

We bought a myhummy in desperation but I should have known it was a long shot as he didn’t really respond to white noise on an app anymore so I’d check if it works for you before splashing the cash (use an app called sound sleeper) though since getting it I think it puts me into a deeper sleep so I feel marginally better, though still feel ratty most of the time 😫

If it helps I’m starting to see light at the end of the tunnel, I have had a couple of nights with a few three hour stretches (bliss!) and the crying doesn’t seem to be as terrified when he does wake so I’m hoping things are going in the right direction.