Advice on co-sleeping?

[Sunrise888]

I started co-sleeping when my lo was 4 months and started waking more often during the night. I haven't always found it very comfortable and I'm not sure we are doing it right! (I'm sure we are co sleeping safely.) Hoping for some advice!

Baby starts off in a sleepyhead in a sidecot. Moved into bed on first feed and stays until morning.

1. Do partners tend to cosleep as well? My DH doesn't want to sleep on the sofa and away from us, which is fair enough, but it leaves me very little room, especially when baby is splayed. DH (who is quite a big guy) tries to shuffle away to give us more space if he wakes up, but the baby usually shares just my half of the bed. There are times when I've found myself with a tiny strip of bed left so I've had to perch precariously on one side, and woken in the morning with a very sore back. (The answer is a bigger bed, but we bought a very expensive bed and mattress when I was pregnant, so it's not going to happen.)

2. Sleeping curled around my baby feels safest, but I get very sore on pressure points on the side I'm lying on, so much that it keeps me awake. Is this common at all?

3. How do others switch breasts? I'm not very big so I can't easily feed from both breasts lying on the same side. I end up shifting my baby sideways and crawling over him to switch sides several times in the night. This feels like the opposite of what the benefits of co-sleeping and feeding should be.

4. Baby falls asleep on the breast lying curled on his side, often with one hand over his face. I try to uncurl him onto his back but he resists and wakes up, or he moves back into his curled side position. Given that the advice is he should sleep on his back, should I just leave him? (He's over 6 months.)

5. We sleep with a dim lamp so we are aware of where the baby is, but am I being too cautious? Is it ok to sleep in total darkness and turn on a night light for feeding? I worry about not getting enough quality sleep (what little I'm getting) with the light on.

6. How do you keep your top half warm? I can't use feeding tops easily because of my shape, so I keep my button-down open for fast access, but end up feeling quite cold.

7. How do you keep your bottom half warm? I've experimented with duvets, robes, sleeping bags. Currently I've positioned the duvet diagonally and at waist height so the corner covers me but stays clear of baby. (I miss snuggling under a duvet in the winter but oh well.)

8. How much effort do you put into getting a good latch? Do you pull him towards you or stick your boob in? On our sides, in dim light, and sleepy, I can't see much and am too tired to try very hard, but I worry he subsequently doesn't get as much as he could do. (He's combination fed because I've also had a very difficult time breastfeeding, and night is the only time I can feed him consistently, so ideally I'd like to get as much breastmilk in him as possible overnight.)

9. Does anyone sleepy with a sleepyhead on the bed? I feel like it would help with some of the space issues though it would make feeding him more difficult.

Would welcome any advice or shared experiences thanks!

Ha. I always thought I would cosleep and it would be lovely, but in reality, everything you mentioned made it just rubbish. I did learn how to latch in the dark. Dh ended up in the other room. I used a thick dressing gown to keep my top half warm, remove the cord though. Not sure why your bottom half is so cold, I wore jama bottoms and used the duvet.
Pressure points yes. Climbing over... yes. I used to latch baby by putting it in thwn hugging hom in. He will fall asleep like that, on his side and hopefully you will too.
To be honest i just used the duvet to keep my babies warm after they were a month old or so. I positioned my arms to make sure the duvet would not tangle or ride up. I slept with one eye open, without my husband, on the same side, in the same position, all night, every night, for months to keep him safe. Glad it's over! Good luck. I hope someone has some better answers for you

Urgh I'm struggling with this too - I'm stuck between either hours of battling to get baby to stay asleep in cot or rubbish sleep with him in the bed with me....

1. Husband is in separate room
2. I normally roll over onto my back or even all the way over to the other side once he's asleep.
3. I also struggle with this - I just about manage to feed from both sides without moving, but one side is definitely much more comfortable than the other. I try to feed more on the other side during the day to even it up.
4. I also wonder about this - I usually try to ease him over onto his back. I find holding his hand can help keep him asleep - something about the skin contact maybe.
5. I keep the light off, including for feeds - there is a little coming in through the door. It never occurred to me to worry about it being too dark!
6. I find a couple of layers of baggy sweatshirts/t-shirts/pyjama tops that I can just lift up the easiest. If you don't have anything baggy enough maybe borrow husband's if he's bigger than you? Also no uncomfortable zips/buttons to lie on and easy to pull it down afterwards.
7. I find a sleeping bag best for this - mine has a cottony outside rather than waterproof/plasticky.
8. Can't help as not an issue for us - he has always piled the weight on and fed easily. The only issue I have here is that as he falls asleep he tends to slide off and starts making me sore.
9. Don't have a sleepyhead.

I'm so so fed up with it - really want to get him out of the bed, may have to do controlled crying once he's 6 months which really doesn't appeal either (esp with a nearly 4 year old who might get distressed by the crying) but I am starting to really lose the plot with sleep deprivation.

I do think that at this sort of age they are not as vulnerable as a teeny newborn and unless you are a really heavy sleeper (probably not if you have posted this) they are old enough to protest/wriggle enough to wake us up. But obviously we have to do what we're comfortable with.

We co slept from when dd was born until 9-10 months or so (she's 2.6 now), she would settle quite well in her cot until her night feedafter which she would come in with us.

1. Dp was in the spare room for the first 2-3 weeks whilst I got bf established then he was back in with us. We moved her cot right up against the bed so it acted like a bed guard so she slept on th outside, then me then dp. We did this until she was around 6 months after which she went in the middle of us.
2. I used to get a bit uncomfortable having to sleep on one side from time to time but it wasn't a problem.
3. I never fed laying down. I woukd sit up, feed and then lay her down next to me with and dummy.
4. If he can roll over himself then he'll be fine on his side.
5. We slept in the next dark and switched my tablet on to feed. I think I was always aware of her anyway.
6. I slept in my dressing gown.
7. I had a duvet, pushed down to my waist.I also put dd at the top of the bed and I would sometimes shift down a bit to get more duvet.
8. Dd was a champion bf so she latched and fed very quickly and efficiently- just lucky I guess.
9. Never had one!

How old is your baby op?