Hi,
This is the first time I’ve posted on here so I apologise in advance don’t give all the information I should have done.
I have a 2yo and I am really struggling with his behaviour especially at the moment, but I have always found him a 'difficult child’. I am really hoping someone will be able to give me some advice as I just don’t know how to parent him right now and really want to find a way that works for both of us.
I will start by saying he seems quite clever and has an understanding of the world higher than most other 2yo I have met (I also have a 1yo and although her speech, walking, etc is far ahead than his was at her age, her understanding of what we are saying, etc, is a lot lower in comparison to his at her age). He also appears to have a very good memory. However, his speech and mobility is delayed slightly so people often decide he doesn’t understand anywhere near what he does. The point I’m trying to make is he is not seeming to hit the milestones in the same or even similar way to the way his sister has.
The problem I have is he has always (ever since he has had enough understanding to do so) wanted to break rules on purpose. He will really go out of his way to do it. He understands completely what he is allowed to do and not to do and has for a long time. Before I continue I’d like to say he has many toys and activities he takes part in and my partner and I are always very conscious about giving him plenty of positive attention (though this can he quite difficult though as he gets very frustrated playing with others as he is very specific about the way he puts his toys in certain places and he doesn’t like cuddling that much, etc. He also takes himself off to another part of the room if you praise him too enthusiastically and appears quite annoyed - we have to indirectly praise by telling each other or his sister how well he has done as he seems ok with this.). My daughter of course will do things she knows she is not allowed to do, the issue I have is the frequency my son will do it, somedays he will do it constantly all day, quite often the same thing over and over (e.g. - hitting/pushing his sister). We have tried everything we can think of when he does this (time out, distraction, treats if good behaviour, ignoring, taking certain toys, trying to avoid situations, going to the park for a run around, getting him to have a nap, probably other things I have forgotten) but he is just continues to do the same things over and over. He doesn’t seem bothered at all by any discouragement. Can’t seem to encourage to behave well or discourage him from behaving badly. It’s so frustrating as on the rare days he does behave wellI, he so good! I don’t know what else to try. Has anyone got any suggestions please?