Keen for advice/benefit of hindsight

[Claribelle21]

Lovely lot...I'm expecting baby no.2 in a couple of days. My daughter has just turned 3 and I'm hoping will accept the new arrival kindly! Just wondered if there were any hints/tips/things to avoid/musts/mustn'ts that anyone has learned through experience. Thought I'd tap into your hindsight which may help us all to survive the first couple of months and all remaining a) alive and b) friends! Many thanks in advance!

Some things that helped us were:

Reading lots of books on new babies like Topsy & Tim’s New Baby

Explaining that babies don’t play, they either sleep cry or feed. Some children expect the new baby to be an instant playmate.

Getting DH to take out the older one for a while each day so when they were on Paternity leave so that I could have a bit of a break and they got some bonding time with DH.

Doing things with DC1 whilst feeding DC2. Things like reading a story, doing playdoh together.

Getting a sling so that you can pop DC2 in while you try and keep up with DC1!

Getting a present from the new baby for DC1.

Making sure that any visitors made a huge fuss of DC1 and got DC1 to show them the new baby, but only after they’d been there for a while.

HTH

Thank you so much. Some great headers....think I'm going to need to hone my skills at feeding and doing at the same time! Love the idea of DC1 being in charge of showing everyone the new arrival. Brill. Thanks again!

I always let the older one help with baths /nappy change /extra half hour before because they are older!!
I remember dd pulling the plug out the baby bath on the front room carpet and trying not to be mad!!
Let her choose the baby's outfit every day!!
Daft things mean loads to her as a big sis!

There is 20 months between my two and I found it even harder than I expected I'm afraid! But I think a lot of that is because I'm a bit of a control freak!! If I had to go back in time and give myself advice I'd say to relax more, just accept that there will be a LOT of trial and error with naps and trips out and so on. And that it is NORMAL to find it a struggle and to take time to find your groove.
My advice is to try and stick to DC1s routines to begin with and the second baby will fall into rhythm alongside you. Oh and do whatever will get the 3 of you happily through the day, because it all changes so fast anyway! I was so worried about getting 'it right ' and establishing good routines/ habits. And actually I ended up spending far too much time over thinking it and I wish I'd just gone with the flow! DC2 is now 8 months and I'm happily in the zone and much more relaxed with two happy kids. But routines are evolving constantly.
Good luck and enjoy! X

One thing that worked for me was having my parents stay for the first two weeks when baby was born. Try came when I was giving birth and stayed for two weeks, so the three days in hospital were fun for Ds with grandparents and mostly daddy. Then dh took paternity afterwards so I had help all the first month.
In hindsight I wish I had explained to DS that babies do cry and not much else, but soon he would have a little monster who destroys his Lego edifices friend.