Adapting to 2

[Nousername2015]

Background - DS has just turned 2, DD is 4 weeks. Looking for survival tips as I can feel the proverbial cup rapidly emptying (fwiw I know I'm not the first to have this age gap and won't be last). Thought I'd start a thread looking for tips from others who've been there!
So far we've learned - husband gets toddler dressed before going to work, I get a shower and dress before husband goes to work, get out every morning no matter how hard it feels to do so.
2 year old is being a bit of a nightmare and refuses to listen to me but will gladly listen to anyone else, 4 week old is sleeping and feeding well but won't be put down!

I have 17 months between my two, they're now 15 months and 2.8 years.

My tips are...

Forget the shower in the morning - just getting dressed is an achievement :) cleaning teeth is more important than washing. My standards were NEVER this low before! :)

Don't commit to too many baby classes/activities a week, it just adds to the stress if you 'have' to get everyone up/fed/washed/dressed/bag packed/in the car... and out several times a week.

Accept it's ok to have a pj day every now and again if you're not going out, it saves on the washing :)

Bath them together.

I tried to use the want vs need strategy e.g. if baby needs feeding but toddler wants you to play, the need trumps the want.

I've taken them both for a drive so they fall asleep together and have a nap, then I've either returned home and put them both to bed or driven for a bit, bought a coffee, parked up somewhere and just relaxed and enjoyed my coffee and stared out of the window for half an hour :)

Just do your best. I had a 19 month age gap and the first 6 months are a bit of a blur tbh!

I had a similar age gap, 2yr2month old when DD was born (she’s now 6 months)! Agree with pp, the first few months were a blur, just do what you have to to get through the day.
I have the same issue with my 2 year old too! Won’t listen to me, but everyone else... no problem! They get there, it’s an adjustment for them too.
You’ll be fine, once you’ve really got into a good routine everything will sort itself out. Good luck x