I need sleep :(

[ConfusedNewMam]

My 6.5m old hasn't really been a good sleeper.

He was ok to begin with, woke about two times a night until he was 4m then it all went to s**t. He was getting up 3-4 times and relying on milk and/or being held til he nodded back off.

Anyway, instead of giving him milk throughout the night, I was giving him cooked boiled water whenever he woke (unless it was a good way through the night and he was genuinely hungry).

It only took a few days and he seemed to change his routine and go back to waking Just twice a night (I loved this routine!). But after a week or so, we are back to waking 3-4 times and the need for an oz of milk to go back to sleep?!!!
HELP!

Just gently letting you know op, that babies shouldn't be drinking that much water. Under six months - no water. When they reach six months they can have sips but shouldn't be drinking a lot. It effects their kidneys.

I think under a year his food intake will fluctuate and wanting a bottle through the night is not too unusual.

Can I just make it clear. I'm not giving him four litres of water a night for Christ's sake.

He literally has two or three sips once a night and rolls over back to sleep. Then his next feed is a bottle.

My health visitor who I listen to over anyone told me cooked boiled water is fine after four months.

Bottle of milk* before I get criticised for that too.

Is he in his own room yet? Mine was a terrible sleeper but I put him in his own room at 6 months and he has mostly slept thru ever since.

I think when they are close to you they know they can wake you whereas if they wake up in their own room they have to be louder to wake you and so they are only bothered to do this if they are genuinely hungry or uncomfortable or scared of something. Most of the time if they just wake up randomly they will see you arent there and will just go back to sleep unless they actually want something.
That was the case with my son anyway. May be different for different children.

I think when they are close to you they know they can wake you whereas if they wake up in their own room they have to be louder to wake you and so they are only bothered to do this if they are genuinely hungry or uncomfortable or scared of something.

A 6 month old hasn’t the developed rationality to actively decide that!

My health visitor who I listen to over anyone told me cooked boiled water is fine after four months.

HVs don’t know everything. I’ve heard some truly awful advice from even recently trained HVs.

That may be the case, but I'm going to take her word over someone on here. Contrary to popular belief, not everyone on here knows everything neither

tittygolightly they dont need to have developed that its a natural reaction. If you are right next to them they can whimper and you will wake up and give them attention. If you arent in the room they would actually have to properly wake up and cry for you... they arent going to do that unless they are actually upset for some reason. (I do acknowledge that some children get more upset about things than others so it wont work for all babies) Like i said it worked for my son so it might be worth a shot.

Why post asking for advice then! 🤔

If you arent in the room they would actually have to properly wake up and cry for you... they arent going to do that unless they are actually upset for some reason.

At 6 months they don’t have the decision making capacity to decide whether to be upset or not!!!!!!

Of course I am looking for advice but rather than imply I am doing something specifically wrong for my child's health, I was looking for suggestions of other ways to do things. That's all.

The majority of baby sleep “problems” are caused by unrealistic parental expectations.

If we aren’t expert enough for you, perhaps you could read around the subject yourself? Baby sleep isn’t linear, and they don’t go through sleep regressions just to piss you off.

No need to be rude 😂😂

Your advice is coming across pretty condensending Titty. Great for AIBU, not so much for new struggling Mum.

She posted for advice, yes - that doesn't mean she has to take all advice as gospel even when it clashes with what HCPs have told her or what has worked for her baby.

I don't set much store by HVs personally, I've had some terrible advice from them and quickly decided that if I had any problems I would just go to the GP. But OP's HV may be brilliant. Either way, asking for advice doesn't mean you're obliged to accept every aspect of it.

I was trying to be polite but since your shirty response, I'll give it to you straight. I'm a nurse. Your hv is wrong.

There is no need under 6 months to give a baby water. They get everything they need from formula or breast milk.
Over 6 months they can have sips, in between solids. There is no reason to give it to them at night.

I have been there with a baby that doesn't sleep. I think many of us have. I get it. I was on my own with my baby, his dad wasn't around. If you have support at home you need to use it, ask your partner to get up with the baby.
It's really tough when they wake and you don't know why. It happens though and other than comfort and attending their needs there's not much you can do but try to get through it.

My lo is over 6 months but I'll let her know she is wrong and should stop giving false information then.

At least we have one thing straight, I'm the worlds worst mother for giving him a couple of sips of water of an evening. Woooo!

Medal in the post?

You will get conflicting advice OP because MN has a very varied audience.

Some are old fashioned. Others claim that if your child sheds more than two tears in a row, then they are mentally scarred for life.

The latter type often have very peculiar ideas about sleep. The most extreme example we've had on here was someone with a four year old (with no SN) who needed to hold her mother's hair to go to sleep, so she would sit there all night. At one she even weed on her daughter's teddy rather than risk waking her daughter up. It was quite the AIBU.

Broken sleep absolutely sucks. If there is anyone you can get in to let you have a nap, go for it and your DH needs to chip in too.

It sounds like he may need more food in the day, especially before bedtime?

Has he started teething yet? One of mine barely made any fuss with teething (apart from having dire nappies), with the other we knew every bumpy gum and every erupting tooth.

It will pass OP. My former bad teether (who used to cry in her sleep, which was very frustrating), is now nearly 4 and perfectly capable of telling me what the matter is - much easier.

Seriously?! 😂 what on Earth haha.

I just hope people know I'm not saying he has a "problem". I'm just trying to help him along the way to get a longer stretch of sleep!

My other half leaves for work at 4am so I don't even expect him to get up during the week, he does however, on a weekend.

Thanks for the nice message :)

Oh and yeah. His two bottom front teeth are near enough through now.

And food wise, he has porridge for breakfast and a food jar at around 4pm. I'm unsure how much is too much at this stage though?

I feel your pain! I had a great sleeper until 6 months and now he's up twice three time a night! Sometimes for an hour! It's exhausting but just do whatever works. I finally just decided to roll with it and if it was a crap night have a lazy a day as possible and start again the next night. It didn't help his sleep but stopped me wanting to scream!
There is nothing wrong with a sip or 2 of water so don't let anyone get you down. We are all supposed to be sisters in arms so just know you're not alone when you are tearing your hair out at 4am - we are there with you!

Deep in the 4 month regression here 😫😪 watching with interest as we are currently up every 30 mins to an hour each night.

Somebody help us! Mary Poppins are you there!?

OP if you wanted to try and get more sleep, have you thought about gradual retreat sleep training? If your baby is only having a few sips of milk before going back off, it's comfort not hunger, and so if you're finding the broken sleep difficult (I would and I do!) then trying to find an alternative comfort would help. Gradual retreat reassures the child that you're there but also ultimately that they need to go back to sleep.

I have a 4 yo and 7 mo. The elder one slept through by themselves from 5 months, I was very lucky. Youngest still has one feed a night but I don't feed more than that (unless unwell) as I know he needs comfort not food, if that makes sense?

I'd also maybe look to giving the jar later in the day, closer to a dinner time - 5pm? - and then follow by a bedtime milk feed, so they've got a properly full tummy before going down. If your baby is excited by food then perhaps try a meal at lunchtime too? My 7mo is on 3 meals a day now and the night sleep has definitely improved since that's been the case.

Ok I'll offer a different perspective though there are some scary posters in here ...

We had the same at 4 months. Waking every 90 minutes or so to feed tiny amounts. After a month of that I was close to cracking so we used a sleep consultant ... who is also a nurse ... and following her advice we cut night feeds. First night was bad but not as bad as I thought - I was dreading it but she honestly cried more the night after getting shots. Second night 8 minutes crying. We comforted her in her cot the whole time
. That was it and she now sleeps through from 7-6 or 5.30 (wakes early but nobody's perfect!) Her weight gain is perfect and she's a happy healthy baby. There is nothing wrong with continuing night feeds/co sleeping if it suits you. But there is an alternative if you wanted to try.

Sorry OP, meant to add good luck whatever you decide, it's truly hellish