At 15 can a teenage boys father make him go on holiday with him?

[ready2glow]

My son is 15 1/2 and very mature for his age. Ive been to court several times with his father a very difficult angry screaming Italian who's tried several times to get full custody and live in Italy. he's never won.
Our son lives with me and 10 years ago court order set out that we split half the school holidays and alternative weekends.
We have deviated from this and out of good faith Ive always tried to be reasonable and EVERY school holiday I have given more to his father so he can take him to visit his Italian family. This has happened every holiday for 10 years. Sometimes I have allowed him to have the whole holiday!
Now I wish to have the 2 weeks at Easter to take our son on a once in a lifetime trip to Thailand. I know he needs this extra stimulation and the benefits for him. I have asked his father if just for once he would mind we take the 2 weeks of the easter holiday rather than just the one week so we can go to Thailand, I have even offered more if he want s ALL of the Summer holidays in return and he has refused.

I sent him several heartfelt messages asking him to meet together to discuss this matter I usually get along abusive texts back. Now after one angry message where he claims he's already booked eater off work and the trip to go to Italy he's gone silent. I know because i know him so well he will now be in touch with his lawyer to get her to write me a letter for suggesting i breach the custody order.

Am I being unreasonable when we have adapted this order in the past every time to suit his needs?

Also may i add my son does not want to go to Italy this easter but much prefers to in the summer

At 15 he cannot be made to go, the court would listen to his wishes - however that means another trip to court for you. I believe you could apply for an order specifically for this trip. That said, he may have already booked flights/ time off work - when did you notify him about your plans?

Yanbu
I think your son is old enough now to start making those choices for himself, and as you say it's not that he is refusing to go at all, it's just that he would like to do the Easter trip with you and have the extra week in the summer with his father. Your ex sounds extremely bullying and overbearing, he needs to be careful before he drives your son away completely. No your son can't be forced, what are you supposed to do manhandle him like a toddler onto the plane to Italy ??? Seriously your ex sounds like a moron. Do your trip at Easter if your son is in agreement, it sounds like a great opportunity.

Thankyou Yanbu for your opinion.
I know my son is 6ft 3" and towers above his own father! His father is unfortunately a very angry abusive man and yes sadly he will loose the love from his son :(

Ive told him last eve ive been scared to talk about it as he gets very abusive towards me.
He should not book any time off work before he actually consulted me which part of the easter holiday he would take. He wants to go for easter sunday, monday but he had this last year.
So can I apply for a court order?

Maybe thats what he's trying to do now to stop me! :(

I’ve no idea about court orders, I suppose you might need to do what you need to do on this occasion to take him on holiday at Easter. Not much longer till he’s 18 and then he can do what he wants.

The solicitors letter will mean very little so really you can ignore that. If he returns the issue to court they will listen to what your son wants to do.

Also what’s the wording of the court order as does it say split the holidays over the year or split each individual holiday? If it’s split over the year it’s up to you and him to agree how it’s done. You can’t force your son to go on holiday with his dad. If his dad returns it to court I’d also try to ask for the court order to be ended on your sons 16th birthday as really he has the right to choose how much he sees his dad without a court order hanging over him

Could you not take your ds on a "once in a lifetime trip to Thailand" in the summer holidays? Does he not have GCSEs coming up? Could you not go after those?

BarbarianMum
He doesn't have GCSEs until next Summer.
In the Summer holiday my ex expects together at least 3 and a half weeks to go to italy with him which leaves us with 10 days only and no rest for my son between 2 flights/holidays.
Plus ive looked into it even more expensive!

1493413286
its split over the holidays, never mentioned the half terms but i also split these with them, just always allowed him more plus every other weekends and mid week whenever he's wanted

But next summer your ds will be 16 and no court anywhere in the UK will make a 16 year old holiday w his father.