Upset - What should i have done?

[ChaCha]

My DS1 almost 17 months old was playing happily with me this afternoon on the rug, DS2 (10wks) happily watching on from his rocker. For no reason, and without warning, DS1 hits him on the head with one of his toys, I reprimand him, 'No X, gentle with your baby' and move the rocker to my other side, before i know what's happened DS2 had done it again but with mighty force and DS1 is screaming his head off. My reaction was to smack DS1 on the hand, I have NEVER done this before, and do not intend to EVER do it again but I am so angry with myself for doing it now. DS1 is fine, he is happily playing again, I however, am not, I was in tears before wrote this, especially at his shock, petted lip, tears and then trying desperately to hug me while i resisted telling him that he was wrong.
What should i have done? I feel awful

It's such a hard situation, your instincts are to protect the baby so when it is your other "baby" hurting them it reallyy freaks you out. I had this when dd1 kicked dd2 in the head and she was unconcious for a couple of mins. I put them both in the car and left dd1 at mil house while I took dd2 to a&e. This might have been worse as dd1 was just as scared as me but I couldn't even bring myself to look at her let alone talk to her. Try not to be too hard on yourself.

Don't worry Cha. He'll have forgotten it by now. I did a similar thing with DS when he kicked me in the head recently (long story)I felt terrible for ages after, he got over it in a few minutes.
I had 2 kids close together and it is draining. Don't give yourself a hard time.

ChaCha - don't feel so bad, its not the end of the world. It must be bloody hard having them so close in age, I can't imagine how I'd cope (I wouldn't!!)

I think a lot of people who have made the decision not to smack find themselves occasionally pushed to doing it. Just use it to think about what you would do if that situation happened again.

As you said DS1 is fine now. Don't worry about it.

ChaCha, it's so hard, isn't it?

My DS keeps trying to kick and hit my DD who is three weeks old. He's managed to hurt her a few times. He looks at me and grins when he does it. I'm constantly telling him - in a calm voice - to be gentle and stroke her like we taught him how to stroke the cats but he doesn't seem to take much notice.

I panic when I can't get over to where they are fast enough and find that I'm dragging him away from her because I'm scared he'll hit her like he has done in the past. And I tell him off and he tries to hug me and is obviously upset and feeling threatened by the whole situation.

I'm handling it all very badly I think and making his feelings of anger and displacement towards his new sister even worse.

Any help greatly appreciated because my guilt over DS is massive!

Can you really try to minimise the opportunity for attacking the baby. My friend warned me not to leave DS alone with DD has she'd had similar problems, so I pretty much had one of them with me all the time. I carried DD in a sling most of the time or she slept in her cot (my friend used a travel cot in living room), or I kep DS busy. My main fear was that he would accidently (or experimentally) throw a heavy toy at her as throwing heavy toys was his main hobby at the time (who says wooden toys are the best?)