Help, struggling with mum/work life balance

[Sofshiz]

Hi. I’m hoping someone can give me some suggestions to my situation. I feel like I can’t think straight to put together a plan.
I have 2 daughters, a 3 year old who goes to full time pre school Mon-Fri 8am-3pm and a 1 year old who isn’t at nursery. I work full time with 2 days work from home and 3 days in the office. On the days I work from the office, my mum comes in the morning to take care of the 1 year old, she then picks up my older DD and brings them home until I get in around 6pm. Myself or my DH do morning drop offs.

The above just isn’t working out. My mum is getting worn out, my 1 year old isn’t getting out much except for weekends and I feel like the worlds worst mum and daughter with guilt on my mum and my kids.

I have requested to drop Fridays at work but they’re being difficult on letting me keep both my work from home days. If I go down to 4 days a week, I’d have to sacrifice a work from home day and go in office instead which I’d rather not do. So if they don’t accept I’d have to stick to 3 days office and 2 days home.

Can anyone suggest what I could do? Ideal case would be to stay home and raise my kids myself but with a mortgage, school fees and bills we can’t afford that.

(side note, I suffer with postpartum anxiety and probably PND and the above just isn’t helping my state of mind)

What happens to your one year old on days you work from home? Have you looked into a cm for both of them for 3 days, your mum one day and you drop to 4 days?

I work from my mums so that she can mind her while i work.

I'm thinking Nursery for my 1 year old a couple of days a week but see how this help.

Can you afford nursery or a childminder instead of your mum?
Then you get 15 free hours when they are 2.5 and everything gets easier and cheaper.
The last thing you should do is give up work I think. You need to think about the long term. As the kids get older it gets easier, with school clubs and the option of an au pair etc. And get a cleaner!

Since you mention school fees it does sound like you’re not on the verge of poverty so yes, you do need to arrange childcare for your children I think.

So your mum really has both of them 5 days a week? That's really hard on her and I'm not surprised she's worn out. I would look onto a cm who can take them both (dropping eldest off at pre school)at least 3 days a week.

Would a lifestyle change (cheaper area, cut back on luxuries, no school fees)enable you to go very part time?

Could you do 3 full days and 2 half days? Maybe do 2.5 days in office and 1.5 days working from
Home or would that be an issue

Could your DH change his days?