How does anyone get to anything with a baby under 1?

[Emmyboo82]

Hi

First post on here but I am getting to a point where I am so stressed I just need advice. I have an eight month old baby boy who after refusing nearly every day nap going, from about 7 months old started nailing them brilliantly so he has built his own little routine of:

Up around half seven
1st nap between half nine and ten
Up a couple of hours
2nd nap between one and two
Then he is usually up until bedtime at seven (unless he woke up from his afternoon nap early in which case he has a quick disco nap about half four.

This is great as it's vastly improved a whole bunch of things such as mood and temperament but what I can't seem to get my head around is going to do anything pre 2pm as I don't want to stop him from getting his much needed day sleep.

We used to go out a lot more as he was awake anyway so I found it easier to go plsces rather than be cooped up together but now I avoid going to playgroups which tend to be in the morning and start right at the point of nap one because he gets so stroppy when he is overtired I don't think he would enjoy it much now anyway.

Am I being crazy?? Should I just go out with him regardless? My concern is that when he doesn't get enough day sleep he does get more unsettled at night. It's starting to upset me as I had hoped to make some friends via such groups and I really want to help him socialise but feel I have become slave to the sleep routine and that is so restrictive it's stopping us do much more than head for an afternoon walk every day.

Any advice? I go back to work in April so just want to enjoy these last few months I get to spend all my time with him. TIA

Good question and one I think most mothers have wondered about. I would try to find a mother and baby group or class that was earlier in the day and see how it goes. You don’t have to stay for hours but socialising would be good for both of you.

I'm finding this with ds2. He has two decent naps a day, so we have a 3 hour window between his naps in the middle of the day, but we're limited on what we can do because I don't want him sleeping in the car on the way home as then he won't have a decent second nap. Didn't have this problem with ds1 as he catnapped until he just went to one long nap.

They tend to only really be at the two nap stage for about 6 months so I've decided to just go with it, hibernate over the winter, and then become more social once he's on one nap a day. I do feel bad for ds1 as we're not doing as many social things as we used to, although the flip side is that we're doing lots more playing at home which he seems to enjoy.

I think you're either a nap person or you're not. I prioritise naps because they make my day so much easier. Other people find the day is easier if they're getting out and about, which I understand.

Will he sleep in the car/Pram? My dd always used to sleep through morning toddler groups but I went anyway. Often she would wake for some, other times I'd just chat with friends. I used to go with someone else though so I guess that helps.
Failing that try to go out between naps maybe?

It is a bit shit being tied to naps, I still do it to an extent with DS who is 17mo but being stuck in doesn't really help any of us

My dc all had a similar nap routine at some stage. I did groups that started at 10ish by leaving at 9 so they’d sleep in the car, then parking up and waiting until the group started. I’d take a thermos of coffee and a book for the car. Then I tried to be at home in time for lunch and afternoon nap.

First sleep in pram

Activities when he’s awake - go there in pram so he’s asleep on route to do acitivity when he’s awake at say 10.30/11

In all honestly tho it’s an age thing - in a few months he’ll have dropped to one nap a day (after lunch usually) and you can get out in the morning again

vYes I do the driving to places early so he can sleep before too. Also no guarantee he'll drop a nap in a few months, 17mo still having 2 mostly

Thanks everyone for your replies, lots of great advice to take on board. Most of all so relieved to hear it's not just me who lets the baby nap rather than push to do lots of things.
I am going to try a morning group as hopefully even if he gets stroppy we can still make amends nap wise in the afternoon thanks again all