I'm at my wit's end! Toddler cries ALL day and barely sleeps, I can't cope!

[overmydeadbody]

18 months old.

Literally cries and whinges most of the time he's awake, unless we go out and are with other people ( but cries in buggy too). He seems hungry all the time, going through cupboards looking for food, but hardly eats any of what I give him ( when he looks through the cupboards is like he's looking for something in particular, I suspect cake or biscuits, but we don't routinely have the in the house).

He drinks and demands lots of milk (alpro growing up milk, such is really sweet) but mostly just claws as me crying, and even if I good him he cries just more quietly.

I have tried calpol, he was teething but isn't now... But this has been going on for months!

I work from home with him as a childminder, I know this is not normal, my other toddlers are not like this! He gets lots of attention from me, lots of fun resources, trips out etc

He fights sleep, always has done.

Had silent reflux as baby, CMPA so no dairy.

Does it sound like there is something wrong with him?

Help!

I have no idea sorrry. Have you spoke to the HV?

As an aside he does not been specialist grown up milk just unsweetened soya milk with added calcium.

Thanks chaos, haven't spoken to HV yet, they were not very helpful when he was a baby with reflux.

He won't drink unsweetened soy milk or other milks, only the growing up one

I would go to the gp or hv. In answer to your question, no I don't think most children cry most of the time, some whining is par for the course at this age but it really shouldn't be constant. Does he go to nursery/grand parents? What is he like with other people?

No floppy nearby so doesn't go to them, he cries just the same with his dad. No nursery, he's with me all day every day.

Ok I'll go to the GP. Thank you.

Is his weight ok? Maybe a dietician could help if he will only really eat milk in the absence of cake and biscuits. The milk probably isn't satisfying him any more.

As you are dairy free do you see a children’ dietian. We do.

Could it be the soya?nearly half of kids who react to milk react to soya too.

Perhaps try the coconut (koko) ?

See the Dr or HV maybe see if they suggest going soya free

He could be self medicating by refusing to eat

Has he had his hearing tested..could be in some sort of ear pain? Doesnt sound normal. i think work on the assumption that he is in pain and try to find out where.

Thank you everyone. He never reacted to soya as a baby but it could be that

I will take him to the GP tomorrow and go from there.

It is so hard, I've never had this before with my children and I've tried everything.

Dietician was useless, suggested I try non dairy milks, when is been dairy free for months and already doing that, no other advice. A bumbling clueless idiot so I didn't go back. Have tried the milk ladder a few times with disastrous results at the first rung, so waiting till he's over two to try again.

He's very little, in the fourth percentile, but always has been. Mind you he hasn't been weighed for ages now, about four months. Will see if the GP can do that too.

I don't disagree with you seeing the GP but surely a major factor in this is the not sleeping? He'll be mega cranky if he's overtired

Yes Lorna, I do think that must be a major factor, but maybe the go can help with that? Maybe there is an underlying reason why he doesn't sleep? Maybe he needs to be put back on reflux medication?

Can only echo I would seek further medical advice as it seems unusual and they may be able to advise or offer a diagnosis which helps to progress things

Bit loathe to suggest but could he find having the other children around unsettling?

Does he have a pain somewhere? Ear ache or an undiagnosed fracture?

Is he cold or thirsty?

My sympathies, it's so hard when they can't talk.

I hope he doesn't have a fracture

He is good at telling me when he has a pain like ear ache or when he has a cold, but he could have a low level constant pain?

He's quite good at self regulating clothing, pulling at his top of her hot or bringing me his fleece if he's cold.

He could be clingy because of the other children, but he is worse at the weekend and best when the older kids are here distracting him.

I really am struggling. Thanks for listening and offering help, it feels good just to talk and be reassured this is not normal.

He just ate a huge portion of chicken meatballs for supper (nothing else though) and is now in a great mood playing with his toys, singing and laughing

It's obviously hard cause you have the other kids around too but what happens during the day with sleep? How do you try to get him down etc? Daytime sleep can often be the answer to better nighttime sleep

But like I say do see the gp for a once over

Just a word of warning on soya. I was put on soya formula as a baby after dairy allergy was (mis)diagnosed.

I was actually mildly allergic to soya too but the symptoms were subtle and ones which as a young child I didn't realise weren't normal for everyone (sore mouth for example). Also I'd suggest anyone considering soya formula read up on soya and hormones.

The other thing is that my wysoy formula was so sweet (syrup being a prime ingredient) that it gave me an absolutely insatiable appetite and sweet tooth, which might account for desperate snack hunting!

It's the length of his naps that are awful. He'll fall asleep in the buggy on the school run but she up when we get home, 20-30 minutes, then he'll have an afternoon nap ( amazingly they all nap at the same time in the afternoon and go down like dreams) but his nap lasts 45 minutes to an hour, the other toddlers sleep for two hours, I don't know how to make him nap for longer.

We have started making bed time earlier and that has caused him to sleep later in the morning too, but it's still broken by about four wake ups, which we're working on and trying to teach him to self settle.

He just always been a very very needy baby, unlike any of my others.

He only had breast milk (I was dairy free for him, and didn't have soya myself) until about a month ago when I slowly swapped breast feeds for the growing up milk in a bottle with a straw. From two weeks ago I stopped all breastfeeding, so he is only now having the other milk.

He's not ever had any formula, but when his alpro is really sweet (I know breast milk is too, but I'm thinking I need to just get him off the milk, he shouldn't need it at his age if he ate properly right?)

I've tried diluting his milk with water but that caused huge melt downs in the middle of the night, and I just need him to sleep so gave in. But might try again, really slowly, so it's barely noticeable, and just increase it by a tiny bit each day.

No advice but I wanted to say my 14 month old also doesn’t sleep and is constantly whingy. He can turn on the charm when other people are here so often presents as a happy chappy but he is such hard work! He wakes every 2-3 hours in the night and takes ages to settle. No allergies and always smiles at the GP or HV!

I echo others, it’s probably the soy milk. Many CMPI/allergic children are also allergic to soy. He’s probably in pain and feeling ill, hence the bad sleep.

Try Koko with Calcium, it might take three weeks to see a change, but do, do, do persevere.

Soy in large amounts isn’t good for small children anyway, so I’d avoid going back on it in any case.

Could he be wanting more attention after you stopped feeding.
Could it be the new milk.
My dd gets loads of ear infections and can't identify it. When she gets grumpy and bad sleep I always know it's that.. unless she is tired.
Can you try and keep awake on school run so nap after lunch extends?