Should I be taking my DD outside at least once a day?

[HouseDweller]

I have always been the sort of person who can quite happily stay indoors all day and not feel the need to go out, but since having dd 8 months ago I'm starting to wonder if thats normal? It just seems like everyone else is out and about all the time, and I'm just happily pottering about at home. I dont want dd to be the same, I'd rather she was the sort of person who HAS to go out at least once a day as that seems more normal IYKWIM? At the moment I probably go out about 2/3 times a week. I dont drive and public transport around here isnt great. I also dont have any real friends that i can see in the daytime as we havent lived here all that long.

I just find it so hard to go out just for the sake of it, like just for a walk or something. I do enjoy going out but have no burning desire, when I was younger in the school holidays it wasn't uncommon for me to not leave the house at ALL . Should I feel bad for not going out every day?

I would want to go out and get some exercise. Also fresh air is good. And good to instill in my child the habits of walking, getting exercise, and playing outside. Exploring the world in those ways.

Who knows, you might meet some other mums while out walking and make some friends!

I have no answer.

I am exactly the same though. If I realise that the kids haven't left the house for days then I make a point of taking them out, even if it is just round the block, but day to day, we often don't go out.

Dp thinks they should go out every day, but he has no actual reason for this, other than to tell me that they need to.

I suspect that this was what his mum used to say to him when she wanted some peace and quiet.

I never felt the need to actually go out every day but a bit of fresh air in the garden or sleeping out in the pram seemed fine. As she gets older you'll probably want to go out more , even if just to post letter or around the block.

I agree with lljkk. I have to admit, though, for myself (when the kids are in school and getting there and back on the bus) I can easily stay at home all day for a day or two if I don't have to walk the dog. I do go a bit stir crazy by the end of the second day, I think. Hth.

good idea t get some vit d from the sun, esp at this time of year. I'm the opposite - DS won't nap reliably except in the buggy, so DH and I are to be foudn wheeling him round the park twice a day, rain or shine . Have to say he loks well on it. And I thnk a lot of babies round here look a bit pasty, poss from not enough Fresh Air .

Squonk its nice to hear I'm not the only one! (Although my sister is exactly the same but she works and doesnt have a dd like me, so goes out a lot because of work). I was beginning to think I was the only mum out there that isnt out walking with the pram/shopping/playing in the park/whatever every day. Any more out there?

I know it is a good idea to get out more, and I am trying, but if the internal motivation is lacking it doesnt always happen . Now that the weather is getting warmer it'll be nice to go for walks etc, but i cant stand sweltering summer heat

I try to make myself go out every day at least for a short time, because I suffer from depression. I have been through periods of serious social anxiety and if I'm feeling at all iffy I know I need to put some nice clothes on, brush my hair and get out of the house. I'm very aware of the dangers of not doing it. There were times in the past when I spent whole days virtually hiding behind the sofa with the curtains closed, jumping when the doorbell rang, not even venturing into the kitchen to make a cup of tea, and having to psych myself up to go to the toilet . (That was before having children, am not like that now)

On the other hand if you are genuinely happy, busy, contented pottering about at home and NOT staying in to avoid going out, IYSWIM, I can't see the harm. I do stay in all day sometimes now, apart from the preschool run, especially now I have a garden to potter in - but I have to have ground rules - no daytime telly, no slobbing about half-dressed with unbrushed hair etc.

Your dd will have to go out every day once she is at school anyway (if you plan to send her to school), so your habits when she is tiny probably won't affect her long-term outlook as much as you think. And the most important thing IMO is that you are happy and contented doing whatever you do. I put importance on going out when I don't want to sometimes, because it's a strategy I need - doesn't mean everyone does.

HD i think it would be good for both of you to get out TBH - just as a change of scene. My DD is used to going out every day and gets tetchy if she doen't. I make a point of taking her to the shops for a walk etc, im lucky and live by the sea so at the moment we are there every day. Or the swings, dd loves the swings. Also, there is M&T but i feel like shooting myself afterwards, i dont do small talk.What do you get up to at home? Is there the garden, DD loves ours. You don't have to go EVERY day, but it might be fun to get out more.

I had this exact problem after my first baby. After a few trips out where I couldn't get onto the bus with the buggy, or had a nappy explosion in the shopping centre I thought it much easier to stay at home. Eventually the thought of going out snowballed into thoughts of 'so much hassle, packing the bags, making bottles, locating toilets/nappy change' etc, and it was freezing cold outside as she was born in the Autumn. DH would come home to find us still in PJ's and says I got steadily more miserable, and my eyes strted to dull.
It took my HV to suggest I may be depressed to get me back into action, I didn't take the pills but made a real effort to do my hair, put on a bit of makeup ad go out everyday, even if just to the grocers then a walk around the park. My mood has lifted so much and I really do think it's important. Especially as when your DD gets a bit older she will be desperate for varied scenery.

i am probably the complete opposite to you housedweller, i have had to have new wheels on one bugy & have bought an off road 3 wheeler now after going out twice a day for walks! i just love getting out into the fresh air & so does ds he also gets tetchy if he doesn't.

I have got to know loads more people especially dog walkers who always stop & say hello and a few mums too.

sometimes do a circular round the estate,a quick walk down the canal, ours seems fairly safe/play park(ds a bit too young but likes coming on swings with me) or call at the shop/mobile library/post box and toddler group of course.

You'll probably find another mum who feels the same & would like some company whilst walking too, i go occasionally with a couple of friends i've made from toddler group.

i am someone who needs to go out everyday. atm my 'going out' seems to be the school runs twice a day as dh cant go out. so for 5 days a week i am going stir crazy and pottering round the house and garden, the other 2 days i get between 3-6hours and happily spend it all outside rain or shine.

I do not need to go out. I am exactly like you and could potter about all day.
But I try and make a bit of an effort for ds. Some days we don't go out. Today we went to the park.
Unlike you, I work 2 1/2 days, so am only at home with ds 2 days of the week anyway, so it is even less of an issue for me.

But , as gardner says, it might help, esp in a new area, in order to meet people, to get out a bit.

And as your dd gets older it will be good for her to go to the park, toddler groups, soft play areas etc.

Greensleeves sorry to hear about your depression, it sounds like you're doing well now though and have a good attitude towards it. I wouldnt say I actually avoid going out or dread it, I usually just need a reason to go out to give me that push. I do get dressed every day and make sure dd is smart and clean, but have before still be in pjs when dh gets home from work although that hasnt happened for weeks now. I think I'm just a bit lazy really .

Lucyellensmum we do have a garden but at the moment its not really suitable for dd to play in, it has steep steps because one end is much higher than the other and theres lots of rubble and other junk (FIL's house & lots of work being done to it). Hopefully DH and FIL will sort it out soon as I'd love to have a nice garden to sit in with dd. At the moment I seem to spend most of my time feeding her one way or another, as we're doing BLW and she takes up to an hour to eat her lunch and dinner. The rest of the time I'm cooking, washing, tidying, playing with dd and when shes asleep I'm often on the computer.

I will definately go out for a walk tomorrow if not today, but have a driving lesson this evening so that still counts as getting out of the house, right?

If you are happy at home then stay there unless you need to go out. I have always wanted to be abut and about and if I stay at home too much it is often a sign I am getting depressed. We all differ.

tbh I've always wanted to be someone who can potter at home all day and be happy with that but I always end up feeling as lethargic at the end of this sort of day. dh is different and is more like you

You sound quite happy with this so why not go with it for now. Your dd will sson let you know (when she is older) if she is unhappy staying at home all the time (ds is like me and loves going out ALL the time.

One point I did find interesting is that you don't want your dd to be like you. Why on earth not? It seems that someone who is happy with their own company the way you are has the makings of being very happy in life.

You're right actually, I am happy at home and I think the only reason I've been feeling a bit unsure about it is that I thought I was abnormal, IYSWIM? I've always been like this though and I think it's just part of my personality, I'm happy with my own company as you said. It wouldnt be so bad if dd did turn out like me I guess, but I was hoping when she's older she'll drag me out of the house to go to the park/beach/picnic. I'm quite shy and take ages to make friends, so I hope dd isnt too much like me

LC you've made me feel much better, as I've always wanted to be the sort of person who had to go out, like you, and you say you want to be like me At least I know I'm not weird anymore!