Breastfeeding toddler and newborn

[Betty2416]

I have dd22 months and ds2 months. I had breastfed still occasionally feeding her whilst I was pregnant I.e when she was really tired, upset that sort of thing would probably be maybe once a day if that, she would also drink loads and loads of milk.

I had my ds end of October and am breast feeding. Since my dd has seen me feeding him she wants me to feed her all the time aswell. At first I did as I didn’t want her to feel she couldn’t because of ds. It’s got the point though that she is refusing to drink anything else, chucking her bottle down on the floor and full on bawling her eyes out when I tell her no.

She’s not really great at communication and when I tell her ds need it as he can’t eat anything else it doesn’t really go in.

I have not got an issue feeding her just not as much as she wants.

Just to add it’s not a supply issue my ds actually put weight on after he was born instead of losing it, so not worried he’s not getting enough.

Any advice ?

Sorry should say any advice on reducing the amount dd wants to feed

That sounds hard but perfectly normal IMO. Could you try expressing and offering her some in a cup? I did this with my DS1 and he soon lost interest.

With two year old logic she has no idea of objectively matching different wants and needs, she just wants to be your baby and not see this new person get what she used to have exclusive access to from the most important person in her world and is now being given limits in. Logic probably isn't going to work anywhere in this.

She doesn't like hearing no, well who does - you'll know best if that's something you need to gently persist with and this is about helping her cope with it. Otherwise is there a special food or drink she could maybe have at feeding time that's big sister only territory? Or a special time of day that could be her feeding time with you and is big on the 'this is our time?

I had a 21m gap and like yours, DD insisted on feeding frequently when DS was first born. After a few weeks I got quite strict with her and just had to say no if it wasn't her time. I used to bring her in with me in the morning so we got a nice cuddle and feed, then fed her before nap and before bed. If it wasn't one of those times, I refused. Then gradually we dropped the morning, then the evening, then eventually the nap.

Good luck, it's tough and they make you feel so guilty!! I'd ignore the tantrums, keep offering her normal drinks in a cups and only feed her when you want to. Say things like 'no baby, you can't have DD's cup of milk because you're a baby', etc.

Thanks for replies. Think I’m just gonna have to let her feed for now and slowly try and ween her off it. I can see when she’s having a tantrum she gets genuinely really upset. I have been drawing the line at feeding her when we are out even if she gives my top a good tug (or tries pulling my boob out )