Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

When do the terrible 2s really start?

21 replies

WhyTheHeckMe · 07/01/2018 16:25

Dc1 is what next week. He is a lovely and very chilled out child. I'm 25 weeks pregnant with my second.
Everyone keeps telling me to make the most of my lovely boy as he's about to turn into a nightmare. Does it really happened to every child?
The amount of people who bang on about it is actually making me a little anxious. I am worried that even if we get through the first few months without a hitch, everyone says he is going to be at his worst when he becomes a brother.
Is it really as awful as everyone says?!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
Pennywhistle · 07/01/2018 16:30

Completely depends on the child, some kids don’t go through it until 3 or 4 yo.

How long it lasts often depends on the parents reactions. Never, ever give in to tantrums. They just last longer the next time.

A hug can often help though. Occasionally small children just overwhelm themselves with emotion and a hug helps them settle.

Original poster
WhyTheHeckMe · 07/01/2018 16:41

Thanks for the response Penny. That's what I'm wondering, because obviously although he's chilled out were very relaxed with him so on the occasions he does get stressed we just don't make a thing of it. Eg he wanted a yoghurt for his dinner the other night and was crying as we said no. My mum was there saying "ooh here goes this is the start of it". But I just got down to his level and explained said dinner first then yoghurt. I told him I know he wants one and they are yummy but he would be really hungry if he didn't eat dinner. Then he did go on to eat all his dinner and a yoghurt after.
We had similar in a shop last weekend. He never uses a pushchair anymore and usually walks lovely but this day he wanted to go the opposite direction. Dh was like "oh let's just go that way" but I said no way because it's going to be a nightmare when the baby arrives if we start to giving in. He did sit on the floor and cry but dh gave him a cuddle and explained the quicker we got the shopping done the quicker he could go home to his trains.
I'm wondering if we're just lucky to have a generally chilled out boy or of were doing the right things to combat it.

OP posts:
Afreshnewyearplease · 07/01/2018 16:42

Oh it is ALL about the frustrating fours imo

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

2nd trimester Families General parenting General pregnancy
spankhurst · 07/01/2018 16:44

DS was fine at this age and didn’t really tantrum at any point. Some kids don’t. I do remember however a mum at baby group muttering bitterly ‘We didn’t get the terrible twos but we’ve got the fucking threes’!

Fluffiest · 07/01/2018 16:52

DD has only just turned 2 and she has gotten more ambitious with what she wants and what she wants to do and then much more frustrated when things don't go her way.

Like you, most times getting down on her level and explaining things calms her down but a couple of times recently that hasn't worked. She got very angry and upset and tried to throw her toys about and hurt herself. There was screaming and tears. It lasted 20 minutes and in the end I had to just hold her on the sofa until she calmed down. It was completely out of character and I think it's only happened when she has been ill or exceptionally tired.

coughingbean · 07/01/2018 16:58

DD1 started tantrums when she was about 20 months. It was a VERY trying time, she would wet herself, vomit, stop breathing ECT.

I was all prepared for Dd2 but she has never even had one! Or maybe she had smaller ones but because the firsts were so epic the seconds didn't seem so bad!?

That said me and my sister's have 9 kids between us and only 2 of them had tantrums.
You may be lucky too!

Santasbigredbobblehat · 07/01/2018 16:58

DD1 never really did and she’s 4 now.
DD2 was 2.6.

icantdothis2017 · 07/01/2018 16:58

Gosh mine has been having full on tantrums since 13 months.
She's 23 months now and has melt downs all day long

cookielove · 07/01/2018 17:00

Ds starting tantruming at 18 months he can be quite stubborn, now at 3 he still has the occasional strop but much easier to sort out!

divafever99 · 07/01/2018 17:06

Dd 1 was a breeze at 2. Dd 2 however completely different kettle of fish!

DenPerry · 07/01/2018 17:10

My first was a dream until 3, I thought we'd lucked out! I kept thinking "terrible twos!? Ha!" Grin Then 3 happened... and then his baby brother came along and well... I regularly need to go to the cupboard to pour MnMs down my throat.

Hippydippydoo · 07/01/2018 17:13

Just ignore.

I can't stand how everyone likes to put a downer on literally everything!

When your pregnant it's...oh you won't sleep
When they sleep it's...wait until their teething
When they rolls it's...wait until their on the move

Gets on my bloody nerves. I'm sure your little one will be fine, and if he's not, you will be fine, it's just life. He will be as adorable as he is tantrummy I'm sure.

elQuintoConyo · 07/01/2018 17:19

DS had a funny phase at about 2.6 for two months. We didn't budge. He soon stopped. That was it. He is now 6yo and knows no means no but he negotiates.

DS' same-age cousin still tantrums and so does his best friend. I couldn't be doing with that shit at 6yo.

Chienrouge · 07/01/2018 17:23

DD1 is 4 and has had precisely 1 tantrum in her life, just before she was 2 and when DD2 had just come along. Apart from some whinging she’s a dream.
DD2 is 2.5 and the tantrums started at about 18 months. She’s grown out of them now.
All children are different. Some tantrum, some don’t.

HollyBollyBooBoo · 07/01/2018 17:32

My 7 year old never went through the terrible twos, nor any age. I'm told she's saving it for when she's a teenager!

TheNinjaWife · 07/01/2018 17:35

Terrible twos are a breeze. Wait until they are a teenager. That lasted until 25 imo. Good luck, as I was never warned.

TheNinjaWife · 07/01/2018 17:38

When they are two you can pick them up like a six pack. 15 not so much. 😂

Original poster
WhyTheHeckMe · 07/01/2018 17:39

Really interesting to hear everyone's feedbacknow, thanks for responding!
So to summarise, never feel smug as you never know what's around the corner Grin
My mum tells me I was a nightmare until I hit 4.
My sister on the other hand was a breeze till she hit 18!!! Luterally the sweetest child ever, grade A student. Met a bad guy, got involved in drugs and theft and now age 34 has just come out the other side. I guess I'll be grateful for every "good" day we get :-)

OP posts:
Stillwishihadabs · 07/01/2018 17:40

Ds from 13 months on. Dd never really was and is just very sweet natured 😀

ifcatscouldtalk · 07/01/2018 17:48

People like to advise on these things. Every child is completely individual so not a one size fits all thing.
My daughter was an absolute pleasure at two. The first year was a completely other story! I endured her first year.
I couldn't have more babies but I know people who had their first child an absolute dream, which they credited their parenting skills for to then have had their second child and them go very quiet about their "skills". Grin.
I'd not worry about what other people tell you.

NerrSnerr · 07/01/2018 18:31

Mine was fine at 2. She didn’t start proper tantrums until nearly 3. At 3.5 she’s just emotional now, lots of tears and she usually doesn’t know why.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page