Family Issues - Alcoholism

[mrsflems1]

I am in the middle of some issues with a member of my family and I am looking for some advice on how to handle it.

I am very close to my Aunt (mums sister) and my Uncle. They have never had any children and live very close to us and regularly help us out with childcare when I am at work by getting my boys from school, giving them dinner etc. However over the past few years it has became clear that my Aunt has an alcohol addiction. It seems to be getting steadily worse this year and we have had 2 major episodes in the past couple of months where she has been drunk at work and is spiralling out of control. My uncle doesn’t help as he tries to hide the extent of the problem and tries to make out everything is fine. I am now riddled with guilt as I no longer want to send my children there when she is drunk all the time.

Can anyone offer advise on how I should approach the subject? Thank you in advance.

Sorry to hear this loving an alcoholic is very hard. In my experience the guilt you feel (although perfectly natural) isn’t worth it. Do what is best for you and your family and try not to feel guilty. The alcoholic may try to make you feel guilty and manipulate you emotions but this is all part of the disease.

Don’t give more of your self than you can spare and get some support yourself. There are a number of charities and helplines that support families of alcoholics eg al-anon.org/

As far as your dcs are concerned, you need to ensure your aunt is never in sole charge, from a child protection standpoint and hopefully your uncle will understand that.

You can't do much else but support your uncle with a sympathetic ear. You can provide all the help lines but until your aunt decides to sort herself out, there's not much to be done. Do not feel guilty because it won't help anyone.

I think just say you don't want or need any more help with childcare and you are grateful for all the help she has given you in the past. If you want to help her, I think you need to keep it separate and enlist help from the rest of the family to support her and encourage her to seek outside help.