Please help I'm so sad

[Hulaballoo]

My nearly 10 yr DD who is usually super trust worthy accessed porn. She was researching on our iPad for school. But today noticed shed been on for a long time and I went to check and she hid what she was doing. To cut a long story short the history shows she was on safari looking up "How to have sex". She's had the sex ed talk, I thought I was clear about it all but not so I imagine. Then she's followed link after link on you tube and I'm literally broken in two. Then she's shown some things to her sister. I can't stop crying. I've talked to them, they've been very remorseful, we've taken safari off I touch and iPad. They know I'm here to talk to whenever they need. That I just want to protect them. I just can't get over the sadness of their innocence gone, the things my eldest saw, I'm so incredibly heartbroken. I'm not sure if I'm posting in the right place. If anyone's can advise of anything, how to get through this... For all of us... Could she use counseling or I don't know. So numb.

Hi there.

I don’t have older children so I can only imagine how you feel. I just wanted to say that I don’t believe their innocence has gone. I think the fact that your 10 yr old has shown her sister (while horrifying for you) means that she doesn’t understand the nature of what she’s seen. She might understand that it’s “sex” and it’s something she shouldn’t have seen but I get the feeling it’s been more or a curiosity thing rather than an inappropriate need. I would imagine that it may have even scared her a bit.

I may be completely out of touch with kids of that age but I think you’ve done the right thing - making yourself available for questions and queries but don’t make a massive thing about it, that may lead to more curiosity.

I hope this has helped in some way. X

My ds did a similar thing a few years back. I believe having spoken to him he was curious about certain sexual subjects.

There does not appear to be any long lasting problems with him.

I understand your concerns though.

Thank you both that's really helped. I've said that we'll put it behind us and we can move on from this. (After lots of talking) I think it's something I need to deal with... Currently pregnant so I think my hormones are in override too... Just feel like a bad parent and so sad she's seen these things 😥 just hoping it's my adult head that's reading into it more than she is... Thank you both x

You've done the right thing. My parents were not approachable about sex at all... which probably lead to me doing things earlier than I really should of. Keep yourself open and un judgmental. I would agree with the other poster that as she showed her younger sibling did not reply understand what she was viewing

Ah bless you OP I can imagine how you feel.

Try not to make too big a deal out of it. She won't really have understood most of what she saw, at that age it seems very mechanical to them. It's not till puberty starts that they start genuinely wanting to correlate the mechanics with their own feelings/desires.

It's a shame though, I do agree. If it makes you feel better I think virtually every child these days sees a lot of inappropriate stuff before they're ready. We just have to try and help them talk about what they've seen so they don't think sex is "dirty" or something to be secretive about.