feeling pressure to announce pregnancy

[greenducks]

When I was pregnant with DD, dh and I told our parents when I was about 6 weeks, and then properly announced it after our 13 week scan. We were happy with this, and it's what I imagined we would do again.

I am now pregnant again, and as before dh and I told our parents at nearly 7 weeks. But mil mentioned that last time sil was upset that she wasn't told sooner, and that she didn't like keeping the secret, so can we announce the pregnancy earlier this time. I never knew this was an issue before, as she had never told me this until now. I ended up agreeing to announcing the pregnancy a month before I really feel comfortable to, but at the same time I don't want to upset people. We also have a big family - so it's not like we can just tell a few more people.

Does anyone please have any advice? Thank you.

It’s your pregnancy and if you don’t feel comfortable don’t feel forced to announce it. It’s not your problem that your sil was upset and your mil doesn’t have to let on that she knew earlier.

Thank you, I know you're right I'm just feeling bad. Mil said she'll have to avoid talking to sil, as she doesn't want to feel as though she's being dishonest by not telling her.

If I knew it was an issue, then we wouldn't have told mil yet.

Your pregnancy
Your news to issue
No one else’s.

Thanks, I know that's true I've just been doubting myself! I don't think mil understands why I like to wait, as she always announced it as soon as she found out. I just feel bad for making her feel uncomfortable.

It's your news and you can tell it whenever you feel ready. Its not about anybody else.

I'm 10 weeks pregnant and haven't told a soul yet (other than DH and one very close frind who is also pregnant). I just don't feel I want to right now. I don't want to be fussed over or upset anyone. SIL has been TTC for a couple of years now so I'll have to be tactful. Also I don't want to tell my DCs until after my first scan and I know the more people I tell the more chance there is of them overhearing something. My other SIL had suspicions over Xmas and new year and asked me so I changed the subject so I know she'll be upset that I didn't tell her but she'll get over it.

Congratulations btw

I think you need to remind MIL that you didn't have to tell her either, and had you known it would create this situation, you wouldn't have told her early. It's up to her how she handles conversations and SIL can be one of the first you tell next, but she should not be pressuring you. Congrats!

SIL was upset she wasn't told sooner?
SIL needs to grow up and realise it's isn't about her. Please do not be railroaded into doing something your aren't comfortable with. Your MIL is being unfair in asking you to announce for her benefit or your SIL's benefit - please don't agree to this. Perhaps your MIL would be wiser dealing with her daughter's self centred attitude rather thah stressing out her pregnant DIL. So sorry OP but please get your DH to stand up for you to his mother and insist you will announce when you are good and ready.

Thanks everyone - I think I'll speak to dh about it later when he's gone from work. I kind of ended up saying I'd announce it in a couple of weeks rather than after the scan, when I'm really not comfortable with that right now. I just want it to feel like my decision and no one else's.

He's home*