What's the best time of year to have your second child?

[Eachpeachporch]

My little girl has recently turned two and we are thinking of trying for a second. I got pregnant the second month of trying the first time round so there's a good chance I'll be able to plan when the next one comes. So, do any seasoned parents out there have any thoughts to share on what it's like having a newborn in autumn/ winter/ spring/ summer with a toddler or preschooler in tow?

From an educational point of view I would not want a summer born.

Autumn. Best for education and your preschooler can be at preschool some of the time when you have to deal with the newborn.

Spring! Get baby as old as possible before all the winter illness comes around.

Spring from the point of view that it will be much easier getting out with two over the summer. Autumn from an education point of view!

Winter born is the best health wise I think as you will build up vitamin D from the summer.

Lots of late summer children really struggle when they start primary school because they are so much younger than the others.

I would agree with bending spoons!

Me and the other 15 kids in my year who were born right at the end of the summer term, never struggled. We all progressed to the same secondary and got the highest GCSE grades despite health issues. I think it helped that we were all Indian or Chinese - our mums were serious and engaged with our educations from the start.

I've got 2 winter, 1 summer and 1 autumn child and there are pros and cons to all.

Winter:
Pro: in the older half of the school year which is good for confidence
Con: shit time to have a birthday imo. I have a winter birthday and hate it. Personally I took steps as far as possible to avoid a December birthday. Restaurants and party venues will always be booked up with Christmas parties for most of December, and if it's too close to Christmas I think you lose some of your special day.

Summer:
Pro: lovely time to have a birthday - think BBQs, outdoor parties, outdoor events for the rest of your life, not just childhood. Late July and all August birthday children don't have to go to school on their birthdays.
Cons: in the U.K., one of the youngest in the school year. Although this isn't necessarily a disadvantage.
Also, you can apply to start school a year later for summer borne children if you feel it is appropriate. Hay fever season if you're prone to it. June birthdays might clash with exams.

autumn:
Pro: oldest in the school year. Autumn born children tend to get picked for sports teams more being older and bigger. Being one of the older ones can help self confidence.
September usually still warm so still lots of outdoor possibilities for activities / parties/ trips away etc without the crowds of summer. October and November can be beautiful with the changing leaf colours.
Cons: November is almost winter - it's cold and dark. The school year groupings in the U.K. are set in stone for autumn and winter born children so if you have a very able child, they will in a sense, be held back, as unlike summer born children who can be moved down a year if thought appropriate, autumn borns cannot be moved up a year.

Personally, I'd go for summer based on my experiences alone.

I don’t it makes much difference really.
There’s pros and cons to anytime so it sort of evens out.

I’d try and keep it a good distance from Christmas and dc1’s birthday to spread out the cost of presents and parties and so they’ve got their own special day.

We’ve just had our second in December. If you feel you can plan I’d advise avoiding coinciding with Xmas. Our experience is that it became an even more over stimulating and unstable time for ds1 than perhaps otherwise. However it depends on age maybe as he is 3.5 yrs and therefore this is the first year also that he’s really ‘got’ Xmas and was beside himself with excitement 🤣

DD1 was September, DD2 will be late Feb/early march this year so ideal split in terms of birthdays without having a late summer born or xmas baby. Couldn't plan these things but it's worked out rather well

unlike summer born children who can be moved down a year if thought appropriate,

Really? I've only known this to happen with a child who has Down syndrome in a mainstream school that I worked at.

I am looking forward to my summer baby after two winter and one autumn! I agree winter isn't a great time, and autumn is perfect in terms of education.

He wasn't moved down as such, but repeated reception year instead of going up to year 1.

I have 4DC. Born in September 2 x October and April. If I could choose I would go for September/October every time. As said above oldest in the school year gives so much more confidence, my Sept born DS is also on all the sports teams 🙂

Brutus I think there was a new rule brought in a couple of years ago that you could delay starting school for a year for spring and autumn born children and they would start a year later than usual in year R. Previously you were allowed to delay school start but then they would have to go straight into year 1, by which time the gap would be even wider. I don't know anyone who has done it ( I think it started from September 2016) but I know people who would have done it had it been allowed in the past.

You got me wondering now. I've just looked it up and although the announcement was made in 2015 that spring and summer born children could start reception a year later, there appears to be a postcode lottery as to whether your council will allow it. Some have more stringent conditions than others. Although I would hope that by the time any baby conceived now reached school age, the law would have been amended making it universally possible.

As an aside, I wonder how it will work with sports competitions with a possible 1.5 year age span across year groups instead of the current 1 year max. Under 10 / under 11 rather than year 4 / 5 etc.?

In reality, I think that you have to prove that your child is significantly behind peers/has a medical reason to join out of peer group. So, you can start year R a year later but I don't know anyone that has done this as the change to secondary seems really complicated and the conditions are quite stringent.

I know children who have deferred a year and started year r a year late; yes, it did come in in 2016 afaik. One was a late Augustus birthday, one had Sen and the other was from another country and had little English. I think you confused me by saying "moving down a year", rather than just delaying the start.

I'm pregnant with number 2, my first is an April baby and this one will be a June baby. Personally I wouldn't focus too much on when you will be due! I know plenty of people who are summer-born and never struggled at school. My dad is an August birthday and he's got a PhD. One of my friends is a July baby and she never struggled at school. I really don't think it has too much bearing on things.
I also think it's a lovely time of year to have a newborn as it's so much easier to get out and about, get fresh air and go to the park/for walks! Or even just being out in the garden.I loved having DD in the Spring and having a small baby over the summer. Looking forward to this one being in the warmer part of the year too!

If you can plan it (and I wasn't one of those fortunate people!) always go for autumn born.

Autumn born children have an automatic head start over all their peers. They have longer to get to grips with understanding, longer to build strength for sports and every statistic shows that they ultimately will achieve higher simply by being born in autumn.

When you are at the baby stage yes getting out and about in the sunshine is a big deal. However when you hit 11pluses, gcses, sats and all that other nonsense it pales into insignificance.

You will get anecdotes that say it doesn't matter but whilst for most things it doesn't, for this it really does. Why would you not give your child that opportunity if you could?

I would focus more on the age gap you wood like between your children. I know people who have delayed dc2 until dc1 will get the free nursery hours for financial reasons. Some have tried to avoid 2 school years between them so that gcses and a levels don't happen at the same time. Others have wanted them closer together in the hope they will play together more.

Personally I think 2-3 years age gap is good. Hard work to begin with, but pays off once they start entertaining each other. Much more than three years and I think it can get harder to find activities to suit both when they are bigger.

My second is a May baby which was lovely. It wasn’t too hot when he was newborn but I got to spend the Summer and Xmas at home (and take my oldest to school for a bit)

I have a May born and I’m pregnant and due June. Ideally I would have liked birthdays a few months apart but loved having dd in the summer. It was lovely getting out with a newborn and she was much more insulated by the time it was really cold. She started walking around 1 yo so summertime for toddling too. I’m not overly concerned about summer born (as a teacher I can support development at home and any gap is usually closed by the end of infants.